Name change question

OK, so I read all about not being able to use your maiden name as your middle name and FINALLY decided to go to DMV and SS today to get this paperwork done since I was off from work. Now I have a dilemma...

My marriage license has my new surname as my married name only.

I go to SS office first. The woman asks me "Do you want your maiden name as your middle name?" I get excited and say "sure!" and she prints out my letter with Jennifer Maiden Married on it.

Off to DMV I go... I fill out that paperwork with new Jennifer Maiden Married as my name. Get to the counter. Nope, can't do that. Your license is your legal ID, not your SS card, and my marriage license just says Jennifer Married, so that's what I have to be. She makes me Jennifer Middle Iniitial Married as my full name on my license. Um, ok. She tells me if I bring her 6 points of ID with Jennifer Maiden Married, THEN she can change the license.

I need to change my passport b/c we're traveling abroad next summer. What the heck do I do??? Try to get 6 points and go wait at DMV another 2 hours so everything's Jennifer Maiden Married, or keep it so that my license and passport are Jennifer L Married and my SS is Jennifer Maiden Married?? Personally, it doesn't bother me if I have 2 different names on things, but what's the best way to go? I can't remember a time where I ever had to produce my SS card for anything. My mom's SS card was never changed over to married name and her license has her married name. I just don't want to have problems later and also need to know what to do about my passport.

WWYD? Oof.

Edited to add: DH bought my airline ticket as Jennifer Married.

Message edited 9/28/2009 12:28:51 PM.

Re: Name change question

Is your passport in your maiden name now? If so, you can just leave it and book your travel arrangements with your maiden name. That's what I did. My license and SS card are in my married name. As long as your passport and airline tickets match you won't have a problem. That might be the easiest thing for you until you get everything else sorted out.

Re: Name change question

Re: Name change question

For traveling: as long as your passport and ticket match - you are good to go, so no worries there

For Life: you really should never carry your SS card with you - so you shouldnt need it all too often

For retirement: I have seen people have trouble because they have different names everywhere and it is a pain to get all of the correct work information. Everything is linked by SS# so its not the end of the world, I just always suggest to people to pick ONE name and use it. This is a problem with many Italian people as they "Americanize" their names and it becomes a pain - I know my father had to sign his mortgage with THREE different names because of this ( Three names x the number of times you have to sign a mortgage )

Message edited 9/28/2009 12:33:12 PM.

Re: Name change question

Re: Name change question

Re: Name change question

Since you are sending your original marriage license for the name change on the passport - I would not use Jennifer Maiden Married, it might delay the process of getting a new passport.

Re: Name change question

I would have left everything as Jennifer Middle Name Married.

But, since really the SS office is the one who gave you the option, they messed it up.

I would get the license as Jennifer Married or Jennifer middle Married. Then get the passport to match.

When you were applying for your marriage license, didn't they ask you this? THey asked me and said to make sure that's how I wanted it, because this is where it counted...all other documents are supposed to match what the marriage license says.

Re: Name change question

Re: Name change question

I don't know if this helps you at all, but I put on my married licensense that i was going to be Tourist Middle Maiden-married & promptly decide that was too much name & use Tourist Middle Married on SS & Tourist Middle Initial Married for DMV, and I have have dropped Maiden everywhere except on my mariage license.

When I change my passport, I only had to send in my old passport & my marriage license--I thoguth I might have trouble b/c I am hyphenated on the marriage license, but I didn't. They sent it back promptly, using my name as I wrote it on the form: Tourist Middle Married.

Re: Name change question

I had the same issue nearly 8 years ago too SS card, got maiden name as married, ran into same issue at DMV. After a long time arguing back and forth about how I needed so many points with the new name on it, the solution was soooo simple. I didn't need a middle name or initial on my license, so I dropped it altogether. My license is now just First MArriedLastName.

Re: Name change question

That happened to me too and I was so pizzed What I don't understand is that how can our license be our "legal" form of ID when in order to get a license you need to show your SS card. I am going to try and change it again when I have to renew my license. I will be bringing my actual SS card this time and all other bills I have which all read Stacey Maiden Married. Hopefully it works