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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on bday party situation - UPDATE
DD's turning 3 next month, so we are having her party at a gymnastics place. We invited her whole preschool class. One of the preschool parents, who I have never met, RSVP'd with 2 kids, even though the invite only included the one in DD's class.
I'm fine with younger siblings attending, but I found out through the teachers that this boy is 6 years old. I'm not trying to be cheap, but this party is expensive per kid, so it's frustrating to pay for someone I don't even know. And it's not a childcare situation - on the invite they indicated that both parents are attending as well.
How do I handle? Is there anything I can do in this situation? I've never met either parent, so am a bit taken aback that they just assumed they could bring an older sibling and didn't even ask first.
Update: DDs bday party was yesterday. After all that, the family was a no show and didn't even bother to reach out. Luckily I didn't have to give a count in advance, so all I'm stuck with is a customized favor. Ugh. Some people though!!
Message edited 12/13/2015 10:26:49 AM.
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Posted 11/11/15 11:31 AM  |
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ineedababynow
LIF Infant
Member since 9/15 328 total posts
Name:
ap
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
I always think that is so rude. I hope they offer to pay for their kid.
I never assume my other child is invited to a bday party.
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| Posted 11/11/15 11:44 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on bday party situation
So rude!!! I would tell them you are sorry, but you can only accommodate the kids that are in the class
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| Posted 11/11/15 11:45 AM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Could you tell a little white lie that the place can only accommodate a certain number ?
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:06 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Posted by ineedababynow
I always think that is so rude. I hope they offer to pay for their kid.
I never assume my other child is invited to a bday party.
That's good to hear. DD is my first, so I wasn't sure if I just haven't yet learned "party norms".
The invite was through paperless post and clearly addressed only to the classmate. However, the RSVP page asked for # of adults and # of children, simply bc some invites were addressed to multiple children, for my friends with 2 or more.
So, from your perspective, would you assume you could bring a sibling based on the RSVP page?
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:10 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Posted by allIwant
Could you tell a little white lie that the place can only accommodate a certain number ?
This is bothering me so much, I honestly might do that. But, it's a huge gymnastics place, and the max is actually 50, so might be easy to tell I'm lying (although, why do I even care! I don't know the parents, and we are moving to NJ next year, so I'll never see them again anyway!)
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:12 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Posted by BargainMama
So rude!!! I would tell them you are sorry, but you can only accommodate the kids that are in the class
Thanks. I might try to do that, or say that as of now, we can only accommodate siblings under 1 or something. Do you think that sounds too petty though?
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:13 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Posted by wishing2012
Posted by ineedababynow
I always think that is so rude. I hope they offer to pay for their kid.
I never assume my other child is invited to a bday party.
That's good to hear. DD is my first, so I wasn't sure if I just haven't yet learned "party norms".
The invite was through paperless post and clearly addressed only to the classmate. However, the RSVP page asked for # of adults and # of children, simply bc some invites were addressed to multiple children, for my friends with 2 or more.
So, from your perspective, would you assume you could bring a sibling based on the RSVP page?
usually when i see that, i assume you can bring more than one person, BUT since the invitation was addressed to only the child, i would think only the child. This may actually confuse me enough to contact you for an explanation.
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:41 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
I agree that the RSVP page may be misleading and interpreted as an open invitation. I'd personally assume not, but I could also understand the misinterpretation.
Maybe you can reach out using the RSVP page as an excuse and say that it was called to your attention that the RSVP page was confusing and that you just wanted to clarify that the party is for children in dd's class only. You could maybe tack on a polite offer for th parent to let you know if the family is in a position where they could not make arrangements for their other child. Sometimes sweetness such as that sentiment goes a long way.
You're so lucky you have an RSVP! I have yet to receive a single RSVP from anyone in my dd's class! Parties are so frustrating!
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| Posted 11/11/15 1:04 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Need advice on bday party situation
I would also send an email saying that at this point you are only able to accommodate siblings under a year, and you are sorry if the rsvp page was misleading.
I never, ever assume that dd is invited to something though. If I'm close enough to the person, I ask. Otherwise, I assume they didn't include her on an invite on purpose and make other arrangements.
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| Posted 11/11/15 1:57 PM |
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melbalalala
Little Lady
Member since 5/07 5014 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
I wouldn't say only siblings under 1. That number seems a bit arbitrary. Most of the time people need to bring siblings because of child care issues (not the case with the original problem, obviously which could be the issue if the siblings are any age. What if someone in the class can come but only if their 4 year old sister can come too?
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| Posted 11/11/15 2:09 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Posted by melbalalala
I wouldn't say only siblings under 1. That number seems a bit arbitrary. Most of the time people need to bring siblings because of child care issues (not the case with the original problem, obviously which could be the issue if the siblings are any age. What if someone in the class can come but only if their 4 year old sister can come too?
I get that people have childcare needs, but what I find rude is that they didn't even bother to reach out to me first to see if it's ok to bring a sibling. I do not know either parent, so it's not like they are friends of mine.
Children under 1 are free, so it actually Is a legit number in this particular case. If this kid comes, I get charged $40.
Message edited 11/11/2015 2:18:02 PM.
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| Posted 11/11/15 2:16 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Posted by ChristinaM128
I agree that the RSVP page may be misleading and interpreted as an open invitation. I'd personally assume not, but I could also understand the misinterpretation.
Maybe you can reach out using the RSVP page as an excuse and say that it was called to your attention that the RSVP page was confusing and that you just wanted to clarify that the party is for children in dd's class only. You could maybe tack on a polite offer for th parent to let you know if the family is in a position where they could not make arrangements for their other child. Sometimes sweetness such as that sentiment goes a long way.
You're so lucky you have an RSVP! I have yet to receive a single RSVP from anyone in my dd's class! Parties are so frustrating!
Yeah at this point DH wants to let it slide, so a note would at least make me feel a bit better so I'm bringing to their attention it's not typical to just assume you can bring siblings.
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| Posted 11/11/15 2:26 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Need advice on bday party situation
It is definitely rude but unfortunately it happens a lot. I personally do not say anything and I just mutter to myself that they are assholes lol. It gets better when you are able to do drop off parties.
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| Posted 11/11/15 8:47 PM |
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Wow! That's incredibly rude of her. I would never think to bring a 2nd child unless it was specifically addressed to both kids. Kinda sounds like they're taking advantage. Unfortunately it happens. Years ago my sister had a Sweet 16 and invited our mother's very close friend. The invite was addressed only to her and her husband. Her 22 yr old daughter still lived at home and just assumed she was invited too. We didn't want her there (long story), so it was annoying. Also happened at my other sister's wedding, where she invited a woman from our church and not only did her adult daughter show up (uninvited) as well, but she brought her two children with her. Some people REALLY surprise me!!!
That said, I would probably say something because that's the person I am. If something bugs me enough, I confront it. I would probably do what the other girls suggested, telling her that siblings are more than welcome, but that the parents will have to pay for any children not specifically addressed on the invite. Whatever if they're turned off by it. I'm turned off by people just assuming I'm ok with paying for their entire family. lol.
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| Posted 11/11/15 9:02 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
Im assuming she doesnt have anyone whose able to watch her other child. Thats why she bringing him. If thats the case if I were her I would have reached out to you and at least asked if it was okay to bring him. If you said it was an issue she should just decline the invite, unless shes willing to pay for the lil guy.
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| Posted 11/11/15 9:09 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on bday party situation
To me it sounds like she misinterpreted the RSVP page. If you don't want the sibling to participate you just have to reach out and explain that the party is for classmates only. Stinks but it is what it is. If it was an honest mistake on her end she'll understand, if it wasn't and she doesn't understand you probably won't want to associate with her anymore anyway.
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| Posted 11/11/15 9:40 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on bday party situation
That is beyond annoying.. Everyone knows.. or should know that 1. extra kids are charged for and its rude to bring along another child who isn't invited or isn't friends with teh bday child since the host has to pay for extra kids and 2. that the rsvp options on evite or paperless post etc are default settings-- just because it asks you how many adults and kids you are bringing does not mean that you can or should bring people/ children that are not the intended recipients. I mean it should be common sense! I have gotten plenty of evites from DD"s classmates and would never bring my younger DD to the parties!!! I used to bring her when she was under 1 bc I knew she wouldn't be charged but beyond that.. its totally rude. Im sending out an evite to DD's classmates as well as her/our other friends next week for my DD"s bday .. now I am wondering how I should word it so I avoid this issue with her classmates!
Message edited 11/12/2015 12:06:30 AM.
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| Posted 11/12/15 12:06 AM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation
I used punchbowl I think, same thing. And sent out a note that said that if parents preferred to drop off, due to siblings, there would be more than enough coaches there so it would be okay. I knew no one would drop off, but it kind of sent out the message that siblings weren't welcome. If it's one extra kid, and you don't care, I'd just suck it up. The only issue is other parents may be upset because they could have arranged a babysitter for their other children. Ugh it is rude, and puts you in a bad place.
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| Posted 11/12/15 6:23 AM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation - UPDATE
Bumping for update.
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| Posted 12/13/15 10:25 AM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation - UPDATE
Wonder if she saw this post?!
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| Posted 12/13/15 11:20 PM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on bday party situation - UPDATE
Posted by Millie3
Wonder if she saw this post?!
I doubt it. I live in Manhattan and this family just moved to the city from Philly over the summer, so I think it's pretty unlikely that she'd be on / or happen to come across LIF.
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| Posted 12/14/15 6:59 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Need advice on bday party situation - UPDATE
People are horrible and have no respect for others.
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| Posted 12/14/15 3:47 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on bday party situation - UPDATE
They'd never be on my invite list again. Rude before the party and after (well during)!
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| Posted 12/14/15 4:28 PM |
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