Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

HISTORY:
DS will be 3 in May. We converted his crib to a toddler bed about 5 wks ago, with one of those bars like used ona twin bed, so he wouldn't fall out. He did great, and never got out of the bed (even though he could have climbed out). About 1 week ago we took the bar off, and he has only gotten out of bed in the morning. Which is a little early sometimes, but hey, he's staying in there at night!

Now, the BAD habit. . . not sure when this started (but it's been a while) when he would wake in the middle of the night, we'd (either DH or I) take him into the livingroom, watch "one show" with a small cup (like 1") of milk and back to bed he'd go.

He did not wake every night, but lately, it's becoming more of a routine to him. He'll wake at night syaing he has to go pee-pee (he is potty trained, but still wears a pull-up @ night) or just calling for me and I go in. Then he starts in with "Mommy, I watch one show." And if I (or DH) try to say no, he has an all out FIT!

If I said no in the past, he'd go back int he crib and deal with it. That is not an option now, b/c I know he won't get back into, let alone stay in his bed if we said no tv. KWIM?

This morning DH "threatened" to put the front back on the bed, to make it a crib. BUt I am afraid of taking a step backwards.

Any suggestions on how to break this bad habit?!?!?

TIA!

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

BUMP

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Unfortunately I think you are going to have to deal with the tantrum until he realizes you will not give in...

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

well this is tough because I always said I will never take my child into my bed etc...but with that said I do sometimes, and sometimes to the LR if he wakes up, I want him to feel secure and safe at night,...im afraid he will be scared etc...so i am int he same boat although its only once in a while so far!!!

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Personally I'd deal with a tantrum because at 3, the max it should last is 1.5 weeks.I cut out TV in the mornings because it was too hard to deal with tantrums when it was turned off. I told them ahead of time, no TV in the mornings & reminded them. If you say "New rule, no TV at night." & remind him a few times, it may go easier.

If you don't feel like doing that - sounds utterly ridiculous but unplug the TV or take the batteries out of the remote & say either the TV is broken or it doesn't work at night.

A lot of times, my kids accepted things a lot easier when they were out of my control. Like having to go to daycare aka "school" when they were still sleepy. I would say I don't want to go to work but there's nothing I can do about it. That's the schedule. Then they would always talk about "I hate the schedule." "The schedule is no fair.", etc.

HTH Also I agree. I wouldn't but the bar thing back on. I don't think it's going to matter as he may still cry for TV.

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

I agree with Barb, I think that you just need to tell him no and let him freak out a little, he will get over it.

But what do I know, I am so sleepy at night that I let C3 sleep in my bed if it is after like 3am

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

no advice just s, dd is not "allowed" out of her bed on her own....lol...she sits on the edge but even on a "bad" day I have watched and she will reach over to get things but has never actually gotten out! (well, except for rolling out of bed but thats different! )

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

My DS was great when we first put him in a toddler bed, then after a while he started getting up after we put him to bed. Sometimes 20 or 30 times. I finally found his currency when I told him (and had to follow thru, but only once) that if he got out of bed I would take away his trains for the next day. It worked like a charm. Maybe something like that would work.....or there were times where we let him put one train of his choice on the bookshelf next to his bed, that worked well too. Otherwise I'd say you are going to have to let him have the tantrum. It will suck! Especially if its in the middle of the night, but I would think if you stick to your guns it wouldn't last more than a night or 2. Good luck!

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Posted by nrthshgrl

Personally I'd deal with a tantrum because at 3, the max it should last is 1.5 weeks.I cut out TV in the mornings because it was too hard to deal with tantrums when it was turned off. I told them ahead of time, no TV in the mornings & reminded them. If you say "New rule, no TV at night." & remind him a few times, it may go easier.

If you don't feel like doing that - sounds utterly ridiculous but unplug the TV or take the batteries out of the remote & say either the TV is broken or it doesn't work at night.

A lot of times, my kids accepted things a lot easier when they were out of my control. Like having to go to daycare aka "school" when they were still sleepy. I would say I don't want to go to work but there's nothing I can do about it. That's the schedule. Then they would always talk about "I hate the schedule." "The schedule is no fair.", etc.

HTH Also I agree. I wouldn't but the bar thing back on. I don't think it's going to matter as he may still cry for TV.

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Thank you all so much for your thoughts/ideas. I think I am going to have to be proactive and when we turn the tv off for the night, I will tell him it's all done and "going to bed." That will (hopefully) start the trend now.

I just am unsure how I can let him CIO if he's in his room- b/c if I leave him, he'll come out of his room and into ours- I want to avoid this.

Patience is what I need. And to stand my ground and enforce the consequences I set forth.

Again, thank you!!!

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Posted by nrthshgrl

Personally I'd deal with a tantrum because at 3, the max it should last is 1.5 weeks.I cut out TV in the mornings because it was too hard to deal with tantrums when it was turned off. I told them ahead of time, no TV in the mornings & reminded them. If you say "New rule, no TV at night." & remind him a few times, it may go easier.

If you don't feel like doing that - sounds utterly ridiculous but unplug the TV or take the batteries out of the remote & say either the TV is broken or it doesn't work at night.

A lot of times, my kids accepted things a lot easier when they were out of my control. Like having to go to daycare aka "school" when they were still sleepy. I would say I don't want to go to work but there's nothing I can do about it. That's the schedule. Then they would always talk about "I hate the schedule." "The schedule is no fair.", etc.

HTH Also I agree. I wouldn't but the bar thing back on. I don't think it's going to matter as he may still cry for TV.

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

Posted by brownie

Posted by nrthshgrl

Personally I'd deal with a tantrum because at 3, the max it should last is 1.5 weeks.I cut out TV in the mornings because it was too hard to deal with tantrums when it was turned off. I told them ahead of time, no TV in the mornings & reminded them. If you say "New rule, no TV at night." & remind him a few times, it may go easier.

If you don't feel like doing that - sounds utterly ridiculous but unplug the TV or take the batteries out of the remote & say either the TV is broken or it doesn't work at night.

A lot of times, my kids accepted things a lot easier when they were out of my control. Like having to go to daycare aka "school" when they were still sleepy. I would say I don't want to go to work but there's nothing I can do about it. That's the schedule. Then they would always talk about "I hate the schedule." "The schedule is no fair.", etc.

HTH Also I agree. I wouldn't but the bar thing back on. I don't think it's going to matter as he may still cry for TV.

I love that, "the schedule" and am totally going to use it!

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

So for 3 hrs, I talked with Troy about how he is a big boy now and he can't watch "One show" if he wakes up at night. I explained that when he goes to bed tonight, the TV will be locked until the morning when Mommy & Daddy are awake. If he wakes up, no tv. I talked about this over, and over and over. I did it in a nice, not scolding tone.

After I told him a few times, I would ask questions like "What happens to the TV after you goto bed?" and "If you wake up at night, are we going to watch TV?" He always had the RIGHT answers ("It gets locked" and "NOooooo".)

The TV, DVD player and cable box are all plugged into a power strip (that's hidden behind the TV), which I will turn off when I goto bed, just incase he wakes up and "forgets."

Crossing fingers that it works!!

Re: Need advice on breaking a BAD habit

As the mom of a strong-willed three year old, I'd have to say fight it out with the tantrums. If your son is smart like my daughter, he'll know it's a load of BS if you say the tv is broken at night. My daughter NEVER falls for that stuff and it delays the inevitable. It always has to be a battle of wills with her, and I am one tough cookie, so I always win
But, I do agree, that during the day, you need to tell him, "If you wake up tonight, there is no TV." and keep reminding him. This way when he wakes up and wants to watch TV, you can reference that.
I just try to take the stance that she can cry and scream, but it doesn't make the situation different. Then a few days later, whatever it was that we were battling over inevitably becomes a non-issue. They just need to know we mean business, and let's face it, if they can pitch a fit and get their way, they're going to. And when they're strong-willed, they'll try it over and over, and finally get the picture. Good luck!!!!