Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

Dh has a son from a prior marriage. He stays with us on weekends and at his biological mom's house during the week (where she now lives with her fiance). DH's son is 4 1/2 and has been potty-trained for a while now, but he still wears a pullup to bed because every once in a while he wets the bed.

We found out this week that BM's fiance has been waking DH's son up every night at midnight to make him go to the bathroom whether or not he wants to go or has to go, just so there is no wetting the bed problems in the morning.

I personally think this is not a good way to handle it, because (1) why would you wake a kid up in the middle of the night and (2) I want him to learn to listen to his own body and I think he will eventually start waking up when he needs to go on his own, but if someone else is waking him up every night then he won't learn to listen to his body and will always be dependent on someone else telling him when to go.

Has anyone else ever heard of doing this? Is this just some parenting trick that I and DH have never heard of because his son spends less time with us?

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

I just asked a question about potty training yesterday, I believe this is a pretty common thing to do with them.

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

My daughter was 9 when she finally stopped wetting her bad at night ,b/c I woke her up 2 times a night ! it took a few weeks but it got her body used to knowing not to go in bed ,and she started getting up on her own when she needs to ! My other daughter is 5 and I did the same thing from the start ...woke her up 2 times a night ,and sent her back to bed ,and now she is totally trained! I suggest waking them up !! Maybe wake him up 2-3 times the first week ,then 1-2 times after that!

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

yes i think you are supposed to wake them up

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

I've understand thats pretty common. I'm considering starting it with Ella since she's still in a pullup at night also (she's almost 3, and has been daytime trained for 6+ months).

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

That's common & more importantly it works. We used to bring Maddie to the potty when we went to bed at 11pm-ish.

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

Wow- I never heard of that so I would be in agreement with you. It looks like it is common though. I've never had to experience that. I got lucky with non bed wetters BUT I have 2 more kids to go so who knows.

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

This was recommended by my stepdaughters ped to do to prevent wetting the bed at that age.

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

I remember my niece being dragged into the bathroom at the age of 5 in the middle of the night. She would be sound asleep til her butt hit the cold toilet seat. So, I think it is pretty common.

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

My Nephew is always asked to pee before he goes to bed and if he falls asleep, my Sister will wake him and make sure he goes.

I think it's pretty common. I never really thought about it but I could see why you would think your step son won't learn on his own.

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

My mom had to do this with me when I was little. I had a immature bladder. I don't think it had any lasting effects and was much less traumatic then wetting the bed

Re: Need advice on parenting issue, divide between households (sort of long)

I bring my 4 year old into the bathroom every night before I go to bed. I do not think this is weird at all.