NPR: need prayers

So my parents dropped a major bomb on me 2 nights ago and I'm trying my hardest to cope and stay positive but it's really hard and I thought some positive thoughts and prayers from you guys could help. So my dad hasn't been feeling well for the past couple months. Around Christmas time he was really weak and having GI issues and I kept begging him to go to the doctor. He wanted to wait until after Christmas which he did. When he went they said he had an ulcer and he was hospitalized for a few days. Since then he's been back and forth a few times for more tests. In the meanwhile my sister was on bedrest for hypertension from pregnancy and gave birth 3 weeks ago plus after that I had fallen and landed myself in Winthrop. It turns out that my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer 3 weeks ago but my parents were waiting to tell us because of everything else that was going on. I'm really upset that they didn't tell us sooner, but understand why they waited. My mom says the doctors told her it's the best case scenario as far as cancer goes. It's only invading the first of 3 layers of the esophagus and the doctors feels they caught it early. It's operable and his surgery is scheduled for Feb 28th. After surgery they will decide if he needs radiation or chemo. I know we are fortunate that it is operable, but I still worry about the operation itself and what's to come afterward. My dad has never been a very healthy man. He has a lot of illnesses related to being a Vietnam Vet who was exposed to Agent Orange. He suffers from Diabetes, Asthma and Hep C. I worry with his Ashtma that he's at increased risk for post-op pneumonia. I also worry because I'm obviously stressed by all this recent news and I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant and I don't want my stress to negatively affect my lo. On top of all this, my baby shower is March 6th which is only 6 days after my dad's surgery. They already told my dad he will be in the hospital for 10 days. I want my mom to cancel my shower, but she won't budge. How can I possibly enjoy my shower knowing my dad is in the hospital by himself? It's just a shower and not the most important thing in the world. My dad is far more important to me, but my mom says my dad doesn't want the shower cancelled. I can't help but feel like I won't be able to enjoy myself and feel guilty because I know how hard my mom has been working on the details of the shower. Sorry this is so long and if you've made it to the end...Thank you I just needed to vent and I can't vent to my sister because she is a mess and DH has been great but I just needed some other perspectives and prayers. Thanks again!

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Lots and lots of prayers!

Re: NPR: need prayers

Awwwww I'm so sorry you're going through this. Many many for your dad for a speedy recovery.

Re: NPR: need prayers

oh first I just wanted to say I am so sorry. That must be so hard for you. I had a friend just go through this with her dad and he is actually coming out through the other side supposedly "cancer free" so def have hope!

and as hard as this is to do. . I would say, totally let yourself feel whatever you need to feel- you def won't be able to turn off any of that but don't add worry or guilt about your LO add anything to this. .you won't harm them from your sadness - just keep taking good physical care of yourself and you will both get through this fine. .

re: the shower. . I really think you should go ahead and have it - trust me your dad would probably feel so much worse if you cancelled it and would want you to be enjoying in and having your special moment - I really think that is one of the things about parents - that you get more happiness from that than so many things. If it meant leaving your dad alone for days I would totally have another opinion but for a few hours he might either just be sleeping or I'm sure you could get a male relative to stay with him. It might actually be really important for your mom too - to have the time away where she gets to celebrate with you - illness is so hard on everyone but especially the spouse so to give her something else concrete to focus on might be wonderful.

It sounds like none of this is easy but hang in there. I am sending to you and your whole family

Re: NPR: need prayers

I also just want to add that I know you dont want to have a shower right now under the circumstances but I'm sure your parents are so happy to be able to give you this baby shower....know what I mean? I think your dad might feel bad that day knowing you canceled the shower b/c of this (though I completely understand WHY you would want to cancel it b/c I'd feel the same way.) But you know how "daddy's" are......they want us to think they are indestructable....so thats probably why he wants you to go ahead with it. Besides the shower is just a few hours and after that you can go to the hospital and tell him what a wonderful time you had....I'm sure that would put a smile on his face.

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Lots of



that ur dad has a speedy recovery.

As far as ur shower goes... I know it will be hard to enjoy it knowing ur daddy is in the hospital alone but it seems like its what he wants!!!
maybe someone can go stay with him for the day. Maybe ur DH or a another friend.

I know what u mean about feeling guilty doing something happy while ur dad is laying in a hospital bed recovering...I have been there.

Lots of hugs and prayers again!!

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

I'm so sorry to hear this. Your dad is in my prayers!

Re: NPR: need prayers

Sorry to hear this, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Try to stay positive that everything will work out.

Re: NPR: need prayers

I'll be praying for your family and for a quick recovery for your dad.

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

My thoughts and prayers are going out to you and your family

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Lots of prayers for your dad for a speedy recovery.

As for your shower, both your parents want to keep it, so go and try to enjoy it. Right now, that may be something your mom needs, planning your shower is giving her an outlet from everything going on, giving her some joy along with the sad things that have been happening in your family.

Just try to be strong and don't worry about the baby, he/she will be fine.

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

many prayers for a fast and full recovery

Re: NPR: need prayers

Re: NPR: need prayers

thanks ladies! ur prayers and advice really mean a lot to me

Re: NPR: need prayers

I'm actually going through something similar with my own father who was diagnosed with a tumor on his kidney....They're unable to tell if it's benign or malignant at this point and the dr feels that if they're going to go in to do a biopsy they may as well take out the tumor....And the worst part is they are trying to delay operating on him because he just had stents put into his arteries about 2 months ago and was placed on blood thinners. The dr's are afraid if they operate now he'll bleed out during surgery....I'm also 31 weeks and my shower is also on March 6th. I share my story with you because I know exactly how you feel. I had a hard time imagining celebrating when I got this awful news...However, my mom has worked SO incredibly hard on my shower and I feel it is a good distraction for her from dealing with everything with my dad. As a result, I didn't cancel my shower because I think in a time when it's hard to see the good....this is one day celebrating something beautiful and amazing..the impending arrival of your child. So, from someone who COMPLETELY, gets where you're coming from, I say enjoy your special day and make that day a day of celebration and love. You'll have many other days to focus on your dad and it could be a nice thing to distract your mom from what's been going on in her life too. I hope this helps you feel a little better!