Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

I have read on this site quite often that people will not let their child in the car with anyone but themselves or their DH. I am not questioning anyones parenting choices, but trying to understand this concept as I do not know anyone IRL that feels this way. If you trust someone to watch your child, specifically grandparents, why not trust them to drive the child places? They did drive you or your DH and their siblings around as children and have been driving in most cases for many years. Barring a health issue or the case of someone being a very bad driver, what is the issue? AGAIN, just honestly trying to understand, not bash anyone.

ETA: When my mom watches my kids one day a week, she takes them everywhere(since they were babies) and they LOVE it. She goes to the park, the mall, mommy and me, open play, the library. My kids are blessed and really look forward to their time with my mom.

Message edited 4/6/2011 2:19:31 PM.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car

I base it on two things. First, how much I trust the person in general. Second, how good of a driver I think they are.

There are some people I trust 100% to babysit my DS, but I am not entirely comfortable with them driving him around because they are not great drivers.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car

I do not feel this way, BUT when we were younger my parents did not allow us in the car while my grandfather was driving, but it was because he had a defribilator (sp?) and they feared it going off.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car

I do let certain family members drive DS as well as good friends.

I don't allow my MIL to drive, because I feel like she's way too nervous of a driver. She doesn't EVER get on the Pkway, LIE or any major road because she's so nervous. So I can't trust that she could handle driving in a precarious situation.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

I question the same thing...!!!! Also I have found that my concern doesn't lie with the person driving but others on the road. If I don't let someone drive DS I don't want them WATCHING HIM!!! God forbid they had to drive him to the hospital, and didn't have a car seat!!!! I also have an extra car seat for this reason, for each of the boys. If they are going to someone else, I install them before leaving the house. So I know they are installed according to MY standards.

Message edited 4/6/2011 2:37:00 PM.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

DD1 has been driven by many other people. I install her seat in their car, they get a run down of how to properly use the seat and have a dry run at putting her in it.

The only person who has ever been told no has been MIL because she rolls her eyes at us when we have tried to show her the carseat and has a little tiny 2 door car that DD's carseats won't fit in.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

Watching DC in the home is MUCH different than driving on the road. Especially if DC are above 3 or so, so they don't won't put everything in their mouths, and are somewhat independent.

DC have never been driven by anyone but me, DW, and the school bus driver, and DS is almost 8 yo. (DW is a SAHM, so nobody else watches DC on a regular basis, either)

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

I may trust a person's ability to watch my child but that doesn't mean I trust their driving skills. My ex-FIL is great with DS but he drives like a maniac and I'm just not comfortable with DS being in the car if I know he might drive like that.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

MIL watches DD while we work and it never even occured to me to tell her not to take DD somewhere in the car. I trust her 100%. I usually find out that they went somewhere during the day when I pick her up at night and have absolutely no problem with that. I may not trust other drivers but I know she will be as careful as she can with her granddaughter. I could never put that restriction on her and when my mom and sister come down to visit and they watch DD I would let them take DD out too. I would trust just about everyone in my family to drive DD in the car.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

For me, it wasn't ever an issue of trusting the person that was caring for my child.. For me it was the anxiety of the inevitable happening because as we read in the papers, things happen.. what if there is a drunk person on the road or just a plain crazy driver?

I will tell you that this panic was ONLY after I had my son (first baby).. I loosened up and relaxed alot after realizing that my parents and sister and other family members were going to be taking he and my two girls places and that just as something crazy could possibly happen, there is the same possibility had/were any of the kids in MY car.. I just leave it in God's hands now but pray constantly for safety and to protect us at all times..

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

My mom watches DS and my father/brother would drive DS and my mom around all the time. It did not bother me one bit.

We live in the city now and I urge my mom to go places with DS taking cabs.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

I let whoever is watching my kids drive them anywhere and everywhere. I know when I am home I get sooo antsy sitting in the house all day that I would never restrict someone who is watching my kids to do the same.

But I'm a very laid back mom normally.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by bicosi

For me it was the anxiety of the inevitable happening because as we read in the papers, things happen.. what if there is a drunk person on the road or just a plain crazy driver?

same...word for word
I just feel like being in a car in general can be a very unsafe place to be. A heck of a lot unsafer than being at home....kwim?

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

In all honesty, I am much more hesitant to let someone watch my DDs alone (especially outside of my house--because my house is very well babyproofed) than I am with having them drive my DC. They know how to drive. If they don't I would know and I wouldnt get in a car with them let alone my DDs. The only thing with driving that I am picky about is that they listen to car seat instructions from me, promise to listen to my car seat rules, and do a "practice" place the child in a car seat test in front of me. They must agree to take off all jackets and bulky sweaters. No eating in the car seats while driving (fear of choking). And they need to know appropriate placing/tightness of the straps.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

I have no problem with my parents or ILs driving DS around. FIL helps a lot with daycare drop off and pick up.

I would have a problem with a "new" driver driving DS somewhere - like a teenage babysitter (if I ever find one I like!)

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

My parents and sister can absolutely drive my son anywhere, but no one else. In fact, when looking for a babysitter, one of my top qualifications was that she would not drive with my son.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

If someone is watching my son all day, every day - I think it's unfair to expect them to stay in my house all day, every day .........but that is not the case in my situation.

My parents are w/ Sean 2x a week and I leave them my car keys - My Dad will take him out once in awhile, but my Mom is nervous about driving w/ him b/c she's afraid of something happening and she'd never forgive herself ........I trust both of them to take him in the car though.

My MIL, SIL and BIL seem to think it's perfectly normal for them to take MY car and my kid all over long island - and I've had to tell them 'no' on more than one ocassion. - Sorry, but I'm not really 100% comfortable leaving my kid w/ you to begin with - I do it b/c I kind of 'have to' once in a while, but I don't like it. - And I certainly don't like their attitude about being so la dee da about it - You barely see this kid, but you think it's totally normal for me to let you take him 'for the day' - out to extremely crowded and public places, to trust you to drive him around (in my car no less) .........nah, no go.
Particularly b/c none of THEM have that 'this isn't MY kid so I'm a bit more uneasy' fear going on .........they don't even think twice about things, which makes ME uncomfrotable.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

My parents have been driving my kids around since they were infants. They take them to the mall, McDonalds, pick them up from school, drop them off at school if I need, take DS to therapy sessions, etc. I think it's great for my kids to get out during the day and for my parents to take them to the park or the beach during the day instead of being inside.

BUT I trust my parents 100%! DH and I put the carseats in and they know how to buckle them in and use them properly. My parents are very safe drivers and are probably extra cautious because its MY kids and they know I would kill them

IMO, accidents can happen anywhere, anytime on anyone's watch not just driving in a car.

Message edited 4/6/2011 3:34:53 PM.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

Posted by neener1211

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by bicosi

For me it was the anxiety of the inevitable happening because as we read in the papers, things happen.. what if there is a drunk person on the road or just a plain crazy driver?

same...word for word
I just feel like being in a car in general can be a very unsafe place to be. A heck of a lot unsafer than being at home....kwim?

Exactly my feelings. I know that my kids are home, safe with Grandma. I don't want to be at work thinking about if the crash I heard about on the radio involves my children and I am at work oblivious.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

My parents watch DS full time for me. I am 100% comfortable with them taking DS out. In fact, I encourage it. I want my mom to get comfortable running errands with DS.

There would have to extenuating circumstances for anyone else to drive with DS. The only time DS isn't with me or DH is when he's with my Mom or Dad. And if something happened to them, I feel comfortable with my sisters picking up DS and driving him in my mom's car.

My inlaws live in Florida, and when they come up, I don't really see any need for them to drive DS anywhere. He plays at home and in the backyard. I think my MIL is perfectly fine with that. Just watching him at home is exhausting enough for her.

Message edited 4/6/2011 3:55:43 PM.

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

There are people who I would not let drive with my DS in the car but I do not leave those people alone with him either. I feel that if someone is watching my child, they have to be able to take him out in case of emergency. Sure, they should call an ambulance but what if the emergency is for someone else and they need to get somewhere?

Re: Other people driving with your DC in the car(specifically family)

anyone who i trust to watch my DS, i trust to drive him. However, I've only had family watch him.