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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Other people taking DC for professional pics...
How do you feel about other people taking your DC for a photoshoot without your permission and without you there?
MIL was visiting me for 4 days while DH was out of town on military training.
While I was at work she proceeded to have DH's cousin set up a photo-shoot of DS, complete with outfit changes, different hairstyles, BEAUTIFUL shots of HER and DS, etc. She didn't really ask me about it, she just proceeded to do it and emailed me "a few" of the results.
I guess I am just annoyed because some of the pics are very unflattering of DS, he is wearing outfits I didn't/wouldn't pick out and his hair is styled in ways that I would never do. Now these pics are being circulated around DH's family and I am extremely bothered by it. I want to say something to MIL, but am I justified? What exactly do I say?
Message edited 7/8/2009 1:52:34 PM.
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Posted 7/8/09 1:51 PM  |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
I don't know what you should say, but I would be extremely pi$$ed if anyone did this to my child. While they didn't harm him, it is not her place to take your child for a photoshoot without asking. 
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| Posted 7/8/09 1:55 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
I would be so annoyed. There is no reason why she couldn't have told you about her intentions and included you in the whole thing.
She should have asked if it was okay to do this.
I would just maybe respond to the pictures she sent and say "the pictures are very nice, however i really wish you would have asked me before doing this. I would have liked to be a part of something like this instead of feeling excluded." Then maybe throw in something like "I actually thought about doing this in the near future and had certain outfits in mind for him to wear or ideas for certain shots. I just wish you would have mentioned the idea to me and we could have done it together."
Something like that. 
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:03 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
Posted by aliwnec10
I would just maybe respond to the pictures she sent and say "the pictures are very nice, however i really wish you would have asked me before doing this. I would have liked to be a part of something like this instead of feeling excluded." Then maybe throw in something like "I actually thought about doing this in the near future and had certain outfits in mind for him to wear or ideas for certain shots. I just wish you would have mentioned the idea to me and we could have done it together."
Something like that.
Those things would be appropriate to say and not seem like an attack. But to be honest, I don't know how bothered I would be by this. I would understand if she had his hair cut without your permission, but I don't see the problem in some pictures. My MIL has the most unflattering picture of DS on her fridge. It's from over a year ago and he looks like a chunky monkey. But I would never ask her to take it down. I just don't see the big deal.
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:06 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by aliwnec10
I would just maybe respond to the pictures she sent and say "the pictures are very nice, however i really wish you would have asked me before doing this. I would have liked to be a part of something like this instead of feeling excluded." Then maybe throw in something like "I actually thought about doing this in the near future and had certain outfits in mind for him to wear or ideas for certain shots. I just wish you would have mentioned the idea to me and we could have done it together."
Something like that.
Those things would be appropriate to say and not seem like an attack. But to be honest, I don't know how bothered I would be by this. I would understand if she had his hair cut without your permission, but I don't see the problem in some pictures. My MIL has the most unflattering picture of DS on her fridge. It's from over a year ago and he looks like a chunky monkey. But I would never ask her to take it down. I just don't see the big deal.
I know - part of me feels this way too. Like she probably thought she was somehow doing something nice, and what is the big deal - it's just 200 pictures.
I guess a lot of it stems from my own insecurity about photos. I abhor bad photos of myself, and go out of my way to destroy them.
DS is chunky, and DH's entire family is VERY focused on weight (many of the kids in his family actually have eating disorders, DH included). I am already getting calls/emails/comments like "what are you feeding him", "he is soooo big", etc. I guess I am just trying to shield him and myself from that too.
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:12 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
It would bother me...my MIL talked about bringing the girls for professional pictures, but we made sure to politely let her know that we would like to be the ones to choose to do those things. If she was doing it as a gift for you, I wouldn't be bothered, but doing it behind your back for no reason would bother me. I am not someone who would just let it go; I would probably feel the need to squash it now so it wouldn't happen again.
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:18 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
It depends on the intention & if they were sharing the photos with me.
My mom took my nephew for mini-photoshoots all year & made a calendar for my sister as a surprise.
Other than that, she should have mentioned it either before or right after - and not emailed you the photos after the fact unless it was for you as a surprise.
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:21 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
Posted by nrthshgrl
It depends on the intention & if they were sharing the photos with me.
My mom took my nephew for mini-photoshoots all year & made a calendar for my sister as a surprise.
Other than that, she should have mentioned it either before or right after - and not emailed you the photos after the fact unless it was for you as a surprise.
Oh - it was definitely "for her" and not as a surprise for me - LOL!
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:24 PM |
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Mkr09
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Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
We did this for my sister's 30th bday. We took all three kids and had a photoshoot of them. She didn't mind at all.
Maybe just mention to your MIL that next time you would like to be included and that maybe the person can take some nice pics of you and DS.
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:25 PM |
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MDF
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Member since 5/05 2313 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
If it was my mother or my mil I wouldn't be upset. I would think it was nice. But that is just the kind of relationship I have with them. I could totally understand that it might be annoying. One of the other posters mentioned of few things that you could respond with that sound good. Did she have any special ones made up for you?
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:30 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
Posted by Mkr09
Maybe just mention to your MIL that next time you would like to be included and that maybe the person can take some nice pics of you and DS.
I agree with this.
I don't know that I'd say much more....I mean, she didn't do anything to harm him, and she did it out of love and because she wanted to show off her grandson
I don't know that it would bother me that much, maybe I am the odd one
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:30 PM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by Mkr09
Maybe just mention to your MIL that next time you would like to be included and that maybe the person can take some nice pics of you and DS.
I agree with this.
I don't know that I'd say much more....I mean, she didn't do anything to harm him, and she did it out of love and because she wanted to show off her grandson
I don't know that it would bother me that much, maybe I am the odd one
I'll be honest, I wouldn't be bothered at all either. He wasn't harmed and grandma had fun with her grandchild. I would't mind in the least - even if I didn't like the photos or clothes.
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| Posted 7/8/09 2:46 PM |
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A3CM
Avatar Title
Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
it would bother me esp since she took the picture 1. without asking you first 2. she is in the pictures with your child 3. she is passing the photos around like DC is hers.
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| Posted 7/8/09 3:03 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Other people taking DC for professional pics...
Like Barb said, I think it depends on the intention.
At first, a part of me would be
But then, would you be upset if she took a pic of her and DS with her own camera? Would that be different for you? Because she could still email/show those pics to anyone.
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| Posted 7/8/09 3:07 PM |
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