Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

DS #1 is 18 mos and has always been a terrible sleeper. He wakes, on average, 3-4 times per night SCREAMING RAGING HYSTERICAL CRYING at the top of his lungs for me and DH. I have done CIO 3 times and the first time it worked, and the last 2 times failed after 4 nights bc I couldn't take it anymore (he threw himself off his bed and had rug burn over his entire face after my last attempt.).

I now have a newborn (DS #2) who is up all night and I cannot tend to both of them at the same time. The kicker? DH works nights so I am all alone with both kids.

I don't know what to do... I asked my Ped for advice and she said to put a chair in DS #1's room and hold the baby if he's awake and try to coax DS #1 to go to sleep.

Any insight would be completely appreciated. I am at the end of my rope. Thanks ladies.

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Bump

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Wow...that is pretty stressful sounding especially as you are coping by yourself

Does the ped have any reasoning on why your DS is waking up screaming several times a night? do they think its night terrors, growing pains etc? I would try to get to the root of this first if possible.. Is he in his crib? Where is your newborn sleeping? in your room?

How do you usually get DS #1 back to sleep normally? do you have to walk with him and how long does it take to get him back down?

Sorry for all the questions back at ya but looking for more insight and maybe we can give you some ideas that might help.

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Posted by beachgirl

Wow...that is pretty stressful sounding especially as you are coping by yourself

Does the ped have any reasoning on why your DS is waking up screaming several times a night? do they think its night terrors, growing pains etc? I would try to get to the root of this first if possible.. Is he in his crib? Where is your newborn sleeping? in your room?

How do you usually get DS #1 back to sleep normally? do you have to walk with him and how long does it take to get him back down?

Sorry for all the questions back at ya but looking for more insight and maybe we can give you some ideas that might help.

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Posted by beachgirl

Wow...that is pretty stressful sounding especially as you are coping by yourself

Does the ped have any reasoning on why your DS is waking up screaming several times a night? do they think its night terrors, growing pains etc? I would try to get to the root of this first if possible.. Is he in his crib? Where is your newborn sleeping? in your room?

How do you usually get DS #1 back to sleep normally? do you have to walk with him and how long does it take to get him back down?

Sorry for all the questions back at ya but looking for more insight and maybe we can give you some ideas that might help.

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

My son was 3.5 when my d was born. He was/is a horrible sleeper. I mean I spent nights trying to get him to sleep. I would be up all night, nothing worked. Finally my peed told me straight out that I was crazy not getting some sleep before my new baby was born. So we ended up putting a mattress on my floor and my ds could come in in the mid ofnight as long as he did not wake us up. He is now six and still comes in but I am well rested and he does have some nights where he sleeps in his own room.

But this became a solution before the new baby was born. When she arrived se stayed in a bassinet by the wall and often came in the middle of the night to sleep on his mattress. I have a huge bedroom so this works for us. If possible I would try to avoid a situation like this...and I did try to avoid it but we hasd no other options other than becoming zombies.

Is it possible to put child back to sleep without entering the room. Maybe put a rocking chair outside the door and sing to him while he stays in bed. If you could conceal the baby that might be even better. He does not need to see you cuddling someone else. Otherwise I would go to both of them or bring them to you.

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

I chose option 2.. but, that sound horrible for everyone (even though I do CIO all the time with my horrible sleeper). I just give him water lately when he wakes up and he seems to cry for a few more minutes and then drinks and goes to sleep. Have you tried that?

I guess I have no help because if I figured it out, My guy would be sleeping
Hugs

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Sitting here listening to my 14 month old CIO after waking up about 30 minutes into his nap! So I know how stressful it can be, but I think you've got to let DS #1 cry a bit. I agree with what a PP said about not letting him see you cuddle the baby. Maybe try to give him extra attention during the day so that he doesn't feel like he's only being left to cry so you can take care of the baby?

Hope this helps! In the meantime, I give you tons of credit! Hoping it gets better for you soon!

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Posted by beachgirl

Wow...that is pretty stressful sounding especially as you are coping by yourself

Does the ped have any reasoning on why your DS is waking up screaming several times a night? do they think its night terrors, growing pains etc? I would try to get to the root of this first if possible.. Is he in his crib? Where is your newborn sleeping? in your room?

How do you usually get DS #1 back to sleep normally? do you have to walk with him and how long does it take to get him back down?

Sorry for all the questions back at ya but looking for more insight and maybe we can give you some ideas that might help.

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

I am mean, but I'd do #2. Get a crib tent if he climbs out, or else put him in a toddler bed (so he can get out but not hurt himself) and put a gate in front of his door so he can't leave the room.

I would take him to the ped, rule out any health issues, and do CIO.

I hope you get some sleep SOON!!

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

I am in the SAME situation.

DS is 27 months and we made the worst decision ever when he climbed and fell out of his crib by letting him cosleep with us for 6 months. Now, one of us has to sleep with him in his big boy bed or if he wakes up and we are not there (specifically me) he screams bloody murder for anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours!!

I have a 5 week old newborn at home so I was ready to pull my hair out.

I was laying in DS#1's bed, with DD on my chest, either soothing or feeding her ALL night, and then I would sneak out, DS would wake up again and I would be back in with DD doing the same thing over and over.

I think I had a small victory last night. I decided that we HAD to put DS#1 down awake after reading to him and just let him CIO.

I was so nervous since he is old enough to get out of bed and just throw this biggest tantrum ever, but he did well (considering).

I read to him and when he was clearly sleepy, I said "mommy is going to her room now and Frankie is going to go to sleep by himself like a big boy. I love you and will see you in the morning" and I got out of bed. He followed me and cried, but I put him back in and closed the door.

Then I had DH stand by the door ready to put him back in bed each time he came out. He cried and screamed for 30 minutes or so, and knocked on the door to be let out (though he could have easily just opened it himself) and eventually fell asleep on the floor after an hour.

I know, it sounds horrible, but I had no choice. I left him there sleeping on the floor till I knew he was OUT.

I then had DH go in and put him in bed. he stirred and whimpered but did not wake up.

He woke up twice (once at 10, and again at 2) and I just walked in, kissed him, told him I loved him and that he was such a good boy sleeping by himself and walked out and he STAYED in his bed.


I was so shocked and happy. Usually DH goes in to lay with him and he is hysterical for at least 30 minutes, asking for me!! but this time, he just went right back to sleep after I left the room.

He got up at 6AM but was still a little sleepy so I let him get into bed with us (this might have been a bad, bad, move) but I could tell he was too awake to stay in his own bed, but needed to sleep more. And he slept till 9:30!!!!!! WooHoo.

When he woke up, he looked at me and said "I'm a good boy. I'm a big boy, mommy. I went to sleep by myself" and I said "Yes, Frankie, you are the BEST boy" and gave him a big kiss. And he has been a DREAM all morning because he is rested for once in over a month!!!!!

I'm hoping tonight gets even better and this is the beginning of him being able to self-soothe, but you never know!

Good luck!! I know how hard it is!!

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

You poor poor mom!!!!

Re: Parents of bad sleepers... a WWYD?

Just wanted to pop on quickly to thank everyone for all of your responses!!!!!!!

We have placed a chair next to his bed and when he wakes in the middle of the night I sit there with him and sometimes rub his back for a little while... We have been having small victories (last night he only woke up ONE time during the night) but he has been waking up at 5am for the day...

Eventually I will probably give CIO another whirl, but I am trying to do it this way first...

Thankfully my newborn is a GREAT sleeper so far!!!