Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD? *UPDATE*

FH and I have a great relationship with my parents and they have offered to put a full kitchen, LR, dining room, 3 bedroom 2 bath 2nd floor on their home, we would pay for the construction and the increase in taxes. It would be something that would be living there year round and they would be there 3-4 months out of the year and snow-birding the rest of the year... we are looking at the market and they are close to the beach, shopping, its the childhood home I grew up in... I hope someone on these boards has done this - let me know.. is it a smart idea to even think about? TIA

Update: FH and I are going to meet with my parents this week to sit down and hash out the questions of titling and resale and down the road. The house now backs a park and is 4 houses from the bay so the entire second floor would overlook the bay, its a relatively quiet neighborhood in a great school district. The construction would come out of a home equity loan they would take out in their name and we would pay that back as 'rent' so it wouldnt be up front. We would have to pay the difference in the taxes - but we would have access to the pool, they already have access for 6 cars between the two driveways... not much cosmetic on the outside, just getting the shell and interior done... fingers crossed it works, and I am hoping that when the time comes, I can buy my brother out of the house and we will have a place for my parents to stay when they come up from florida...

Message edited 3/14/2009 10:55:32 AM.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

If you feel that you would have your privacy and they wouldn't just pop in, then I say go for it. If this was my parents, I would do it. If it was my ILs I wouldn't...MIL offered.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I wouldn't because you would be essentially locked in to living there.

What if you ever want to move and buy a home of your own down the road?

I am not against living with parents. But I would be against them spending over 100k for us to do it.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I would save the money you would be spending on construction and put it towards a down payment on a house of your own. Like the previous poster said, you would be locked into living there.

We bought a 2-family house a year and a half ago with my SIL and her husband, and if I would've known the market was going to come down like it did we would've waited and kept saving to buy a house of our own. We're now locked in, at least until the market recovers. Even though we have a good relationship with my SIL, we would much rather be in a home of our own.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

i agree... for me, its not so much about living with your parents, because they would be gone a lot of the time it sounds like, and it sounds like it would be set up so you would have some privacy.
BUT... for all the money yuo would be putting into construction, that would be a nice downpayment on a house of your own... maybe you could buy the house from your parents, and they could find a smaller place to stay in when they aren't traveling. i think it would be better for you in the long run to own something outright...

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

They would only be living below you 3/4 months? I would totally do it if the $$ for construction is substantially less than getting your own mortgage. You'd have to set strict ground rules from the start regarding privacy and I would def insist on a private entrance. GL

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Posted by Little-J-Mommy

They would only be living below you 3/4 months? I would totally do it if the $$ for construction is substantially less than getting your own mortgage. You'd have to set strict ground rules from the start regarding privacy and I would def insist on a private entrance. GL

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I think it's a nice idea but what about the house itself? Would your name be on the title at all? If you are putting a significant amount of money into the house, there should be some sort of change to the title, esp if you have siblings. It's sort of a sticky situation bc I wouldn't feel comfortable asking my parents to put me on the title but what would happen to the house if, Heaven forbid, something happens to your parents? Would there be any legal document to show what you and your DH put into the house between cost of the costruction and the additional taxes. Just something to consider when weighing the pros & cons. I can definitely see the pros but you also have to consider your investment into the property too.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

also wanted to add that I do see the OP point about using the same money for a down payment on your own place....but then you'll have a mortgage on top of that. It seems that your parents are just asking you to come up with the lump sum and then cover the difference in taxes. This is HUGE if you ask me. In the long run, you'll either inherit the house anyway {{knocking wood that it's not for a long time;)}} OR you'll save so much in terms of a monthly payment that eventually you'll be able to upgrade.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

My concern would be the money you invest in the house and what sort of return you would get on it. If it is a house you plan to stay in long enough that you will ultimately inherit or own it anyway, that is one thing, but if you invest a lot of money into a home that is then not yours to sell or accrue value in, I wonder if that is worthwhile.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I bought a 2 family house with my father ( different situation involved) but I will say you really need to consider :

-Is this somewhere we will be happy calling our home for the next 20-30 years ?
-what if we decide a few years down the road that we want our own house ? How would you recoop the costs ?
- If you will be inheriting the house, that changes the situation as costs go.


You have to make sure that you & your husband are truly onboard with this for the long run. Because if 1 year from now your husband doesn't like it, it won't be that easy to get out of.

I don't regret my decision for quite a few reasons. But we do sacrifice privacy and space that you wouldn't if you owned your own home. There are many days I wish I had a whole house with 2 floors and a basement, instead of just 1 floor.

Good Luck!

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I would not do it.

I was in the same situation with Ex.

The ex ILs wanted to had an extention to the house.

It's about $100K.

Are you willing to spend that much for a house that is not yours?

Are they willing to put your name on the title?

There is no way I would spend that much money on someone else property.

What will you do if you decide to move? I am assuming you will be "obligated" to pay for this.

How will you get a home loan on a house that is not yours?

Not trying to be a downer here but what would happen if you and SO split?

Remember: you can't sell it. You are stuck there and then it's stil not yours unless you all refinance the house and your name (not just your SO) is also on the title.

Those are "poisened" gift.

The only people who would benefit are the parents. They will build equity on the house and you are paying for it.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

At one point my DH and I discussed renovating my FIL's house, FIL really encouraged the idea, but we ultimately decided against it. We would have covered all costs of construction and paid his taxes, but the deed would have been transferred to us. I would not have put the money into it, if it our name wasn't going to be on the house.

We have a great relationship with FIL and I can honestly say I love him like my own dad, I also love the house and the neighborhood. But we decided to do our own thing out of fear that living in such close quarters would jeopardize that relationship, we also worried about having enough privacy.

Like if I wanted to put up a fence and a deck or rip out the bushes in the front of the house, would he be okay with that? This is one of the most easy going human beings on the planet, but I could still envision tension arising (even though he insisted he'd be fine with anything we wanted to do)—we're dealing with a space that's been HIS for decades. Who am I to come in and change it all up? KWIM?

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I would do it!!!

Why not offer to buy the home from them in a few years after the construction is paid off?? They can hold the loan, the interest rate is a bit lower (about 4% right now)

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

I say sell the original house and buy another TOGETHER and see if you can buy something that would already suit your needs. I would absolutely do this with my parents if they needed.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

We are doing this. My inlaws took out the loan for the dormer for $100,000 and we will be paying them rent each month. They know that we are only going to be living here for a few years until we get our own home, but we loved the idea of having a brand new place. We would rather pay rent to them than someone else. And when we move out, they can rent out the apt to someone else. They are building equity in their house, and we get a really nice brand new apt to live in for a few years. It was a win/win for us.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

Posted by Little-J-Mommy

They would only be living below you 3/4 months? I would totally do it if the $$ for construction is substantially less than getting your own mortgage. You'd have to set strict ground rules from the start regarding privacy and I would def insist on a private entrance. GL

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD?

no personal experience but my good friend's family just did this. She is one of three siblings, her & her brother are married & own homes with their spouses. Her sister has always lived home, is getting married for the first time at age 37. They just added a huge second floor to her parents home. my friends sister & her husband plan to live there together after their wedding this summer. Its a good scenario for all of them and all of the siblings agreed it was fair & reasonable.

Re: Parents offered to put a full 2nd floor on their home... WWYD? *UPDATE*

NO. *shudder*