People asking those dreaded questions.

I have a group of friends that it seems every time we see them they are asking me when I am having a baby. One couple in particular because they just had a baby a few months ago and honestly, they don't have any other friends with babies so I think they just want some friends who are in the same place they are.
Every time we see them though, there are always so many other people around. Today I was with this group at a restaurant and all of them started asking. I was alone because DH was working so I was being bombarded by 8 people. I was at a loss I didn't know what to say so I just said nothing. I almost blurted everything out, but the restaurant was so loud and I didn't really want to shout it so everyone at the table could hear.

I am toying with the idea of sending an email out to this group of friends, explaining our situation and asking them not to ask me about when I am having a baby anymore because it is very hurtful. That when I have news to share, I very gladly will.
I would rather do something like this in person, but the time never seems right.

DO you think its inappropriate to make this "announcement" through an email?

I just don't want to hear the questions every time we see them.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

I know it is hard -

I feel the best way to approach it - at least how I do it - is to just laugh it off -
tell them when we have good news to share we will until then leave me alone

People seem to get the hint quickly

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

I don't know if I would do it via email. I think the next time they bring it up in person (if approrpiate) fill them in then.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

My dad was doing this, too--every time I'd talk to him, he'd ask when we were planning to have a baby.

I finally decided to tell him everything that was going on. Just be honest with them--in person--and I think they'll respect you for it.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

When people used to ask me I would just say we're not ready yet. I didn't want to let too many people know we had issues but if I were you just say we are working on it but it's not happening as easy as we thought. Unless they are close friends or family I personally wouldn't say anything. You also open yourself up to those annoying just relax it will happen or did you try this or that comments..those really irk me

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

If they are close friends, I would tell them the truth. I would just call each one and let them know that it's uncomforable in a public setting like that and this is basically what's going on.

I don't think I would do an e-mail...but if it's more comfortable for you, I don't see anything wrong with an e-mail.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

As our friends started to have babies, DH and I started traveling more and more (seeing the world) When they would ask us when we were having a baby, I reply when were done seeing the world. They stopped asking after that.

However, I did speak to my closest friends and they were really supportive. I had one friend offer me her eggs! I thought that was sweet!

Even my MIL wanted to ask, but didn't until I brought it up. She was curious but didn't want to pry.

Good Luck to you on this journey!!!!

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

I have wondered what I am going to do. When we weren't trying, I would laugh it off. Now with two miscarriages and seeking help, I don't know how I am going to react. I have just said to my husband, I hope to God nobody asks me now. I wish people did not do this. If it were someone I were super close to, maybe I would tell them, but not someone I am not close to, but how to handle when they ask, I have to learn myself.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

I have always been up front with anyone who has asked. I have found that almost everyone has been supportive. Yes, I get "those people" that start in with the "just relax and it will happen" comments but now I just I have found that by me sharing what DH and I are going through brings out people who are going through the same thing. IF is hard enough but going through it alone is harder. So when people ask if DH and I are trying, I say, "Yes, but we seem to have some issues and are seeing a specialist." For those that dont know me that well, the conversation ends there... and make THEM unconfortable and not me.

Re: People asking those dreaded questions.

Thanks everyone. I think the next time I see them I will tell them when the question comes up. I have no problem telling people, it has always just never seemed like the right time with this particular group.