Playdate Issue- long

My DD has two friends who live in the neighborhood. Friend 1 comes over often- I watch her a few afternoons a week while her mom works. DD and Friend 1 also get along really well- they are in the same class at school. Friend 2 plays with them once in a while. DD also likes Friend 2 a lot and often wants her to come over.

So today, both girls were over. Friend 2 decided suddenly to go home, because she said the other two girls didn't want to do what she wanted to do. Friend 2 is a nice girl but not very flexible. But I've seen Friend 2 cry to try and get the DD and 1 to do what she wants. Today she didn't cry, but I felt bad. When the three of them (or even just the DD and 1) are together I emphasize to DD the importance of doing what everyone wants for a period of time.

My question is, do I bring this up with DD again? I already said to her, in front of Friend 2, that it's important to think about what everyone wants when she has friends over. I'm not sure if I should raise the issue again.

Re: Playdate Issue- long

I absolutely would. 3 is always such an odd number and I think it's best if kids try to take turns doing things that everyone likes.

Re: Playdate Issue- long

I think three is a very hard number depending on the age. My DS is 5 and I honestly try to avoid play dates with 3 kids. They play great one on one or in a group but, for some reason, 3 seems to be a tough dynamic. Ineveitably - 2 click more and the one feels left out and jealous (real or imagined) and ends up unhappy. I've seen it happen many times. I've even seen two friends competing with each other to command the thirds attention.

That said, I think you did the right thing. Likely, it was nothing your DD or the other friend did intentionally, probably just friend #2 not getting the one on one attention. I would mention it to DD and just ask her how she feels when she is the third man out. But, I would also try to avoid pladates in 3's ha!

Playdate Issue- long

Thanks ladies.

It's hard- all three girls go to half day K, and are at the same bus stop. And since I watch one of the girls, I feel bad not including the other. DD also asks if the other girl can be included.

Anyway, I did talk to DD again and I told her that since it's her house, it's up to her to come to me if she felt they weren't agreeing. And we talked about making sure everyone gets to do what they want for a little while.

Re: Playdate Issue- long

I would bring it up maybe just to chat about, but remember that they are kids and need to learn to work these things out on their own. If the little girl went home, that was her solution at the moment, and that's ok. I would just remind her to be flexible then let it go for a while.