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Question - I am so mad it's clouding my own judgement

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HarleyGirlFLA
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Member since 5/05

9674 total posts

Name:
Mel

Question - I am so mad it's clouding my own judgement

I used to be really friendly with my boss. He and I would go for drinks, talk on the phone, etc...It was a great relationship. In our close bond we let another gal in. The 3 of us were close. We would go out often, get each other lunch and would count on each other for everything. When anyone had doubts about him being a boss I defended him and fought for him. I would go to bat for him and he knew it. He knew to me his word was gospel and I could never doubt him or his decisions.

The other gal up until yesterday and I were close. I considered her a dear friend that I was comfortable enough with to share secrets with.

Well yesterday she was very cold to me. For no reason, she was just cold. I know she's going through a rough time right now so I took it as her having problems and just not in a good mood. Until i had gotten back from lunch and had it out with my boss. He and I were talking and he started going on some out of left field talk with me about life. He was leading me into the truth about him and this other gal. And I got furious with him. It was the way he was beating around the bush and then asked me for a favor. I was so mad. The things he was asking me I felt were unethical. I felt he was lying to me. I bite my tongue and go home.

Today the other gal calls me on my cell at 8:48 this morning. i didnt hear my phone ring and didnt realized she called me till I took break. She didn't know that I had already been in boss office to get clarification and clear the air from yesterday. So when I took my break I called her on her cell. She was laughing and seemed fine and said she'd talk to me when i got back up. I emailed her that I am a dork. she right away responds with "you know well to say it simply that yesterday JR was just going after your goat"

I had no idea what that meant and asked her to explain but then I googled it and wrote back oh i get it nevermind. and she wrote back a smiley face and that was it.

So 12pm she goes to lunch and he goes to lunch. They go to lunch together. I find out that this is not the first time and they've been sneaking out to lunch almost daily. I am so mad because I feel like I can not trust either one of them anymore.

So I call him out on it and he blatenly lied to me. Point blank lied to me. I called him out on the lying and he just covered it up more. To a point I turned around and said listen when I was having a rough time in my life and was going to you, you never took me to lunch, when so and so was having a melt down on the floor you didnt take her to lunch, and when so and so's spouse almost died you gave her the day off. So dont lie to me and tell me this is the first time it's not and you're getting too close to her. So he was honest and said he does have feelings for her but they are both married and she is just having a rough time in her marriage and you know that she's not sure about the divorce, etc...I said I dont care, look at your position and realize this place comes first. You are the number 1 person in this company and if you continue with this special friendship it will effect you here and i dont know if i could deal with that type of leadership. So he got upset that I was mad at him. He apologized, hugged me and told me things will be alright.

Then I called her out on it. I wrote back to her so exactly how do you know what JR and I discussed yesterday. She never responded.

Now here is where I am so mad it's cloudng me...I am so angry with her and him and I dont know why and cant explain it. She acts like she doest know me. 2 days ago we were talking about taking a yoga class together and now I get nothing but dirty looks from her. She literally acts like I killed her cat or something.

any guidance or anything would be appreciated.

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Message edited 5/10/2007 8:13:49 PM.

Posted 5/10/07 7:55 PM
 
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love

Member since 8/06

12785 total posts

Name:
Bonnie-Jean

Re: Question - I am so mad it's clouding my own judgement

That's a rough one. Can you deal with things as they are now until Monday? After the weekend, you may be able to deal with it in a better light?

Posted 5/10/07 8:36 PM
 

MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!

Member since 2/07

9876 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Question - I am so mad it's clouding my own judgement

This is precisely why I HATE being friends with women. All of my friends are guys...for the sheer fact that, guys are MUCH less "fair-weather" than women. Reading your post made ME angry, too.

You're obviously not getting the full story here. You need to sit down with this girl NOW and ask her point-blank what the f*** her problem is. I was in a situation like this, and I kept my mouth shut, and things just went downhill by the day...I wound up quitting my job because I couldn't take working with her anymore.

I would also be upfront about this with your boss. While I'll admit that it doesn't seem like the best idea to have a friendly relationship with your boss, it's really time to clear the air and be adults about this. Better yet, maybe you should find time for the three of you to sit down and talk about it.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. But if I've learned one thing, it's to clear the air ASAP. Things will only get worse if you don't deal with it immediately. Chat Icon

Posted 5/10/07 8:41 PM
 

HarleyGirlFLA
Come on in

Member since 5/05

9674 total posts

Name:
Mel

Re: Question - I am so mad it's clouding my own judgement

Thank you ladies for your response. I think i can deal with it tomorrow as the weekend is fastly approaching, and maybe be able to face this light on monday. I am hoping maybe my bout with him will give him a food for thought over the weekend and Monday a new light shall be shed. Plus I am only going to be in work 3 days next week.

I want to be able to say to her hey *** is your problem, but I am afraid it will just cause more problems and I am already heated to begin with. I think I need this weekend to cool down and not let my emotions speak for me. They already spoke for me today. Believe me if anyone else spoke to him the way I did he would have thrown them out of his office and probably would have sent them home.

I really think I just need to deal with tomorrow and hope my speaking to him hit the right cords and then on Monday once I am cooled I can confront him again to clear the air and also be able to approach her.

Posted 5/10/07 9:03 PM
 
 

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