Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I'm know I'm kind of worrying about this way ahead of time but not really.

I'm 5 weeks and am MOH (1 of 2) in a wedding that's 7 days after my due date. I already put the deposit down on the BM dress and told the person at the dress that DH and I may become pregnant in the future. She told me to let her know ASAP to change the dress size depending on the due date (I've already order 2 sizes larger then I already am just in case).

The Bach party is in AC a month before so that I'm def. not going to which is fine. I've spoken to people who've already had babies and they said the first week after is the most difficult to recover from.

What should I do? My mom thinks I should tell my friend the situation and back out now before paying the full amount for a dress I might not be able to wear but I don't know, so many things can happen between now and then.

Thoughts?

Message edited 1/8/2013 4:23:52 PM.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

Honestly, this is a tough one! But being that you are MOH, I would probably stay in the party, you must mean alot to this person! You might want to ask the bride her opinion.... Personally I would just stay as a part of the wedding and hope for the best...but that's just me

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

i agree with your friends...you should try to get out of it. you dont know how you will be feeling nor do you even know if the baby will be born at that point; or you could give birth 4 days late and still be in the hospital on the wedding day.

explain to your friend that you are honored she asked you to be part of her day but because of the timing you just cant commit to it and you will do all you can to attend as a guest just not as part of the bridal party. if you would like, you could still offer to help with the bridal shower, etc but that is up to you.

Message edited 1/8/2013 4:24:24 PM.

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I had a csection and would have been fine being in a wedding.

You do though have to think about the fact your due date is a rough estimate. Very few people go on their date.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I had an emergency C-section and there is no way I could have been in a wedding a week later. The time shortly before and after your due date can be so unpredictable. I would not commit myself to being a MOH/brides maid because I would hate to have to back out at the last minute. I was in my cousins wedding 8 weeks after I had my DD and I was fine by that time.

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I am in the EXACT same situation where I am moh 1 week after my due date and I am 5 weeks! She knows my situation and the loss I suffered a few months ago, and was very understanding. I have not ordered the dress yet though. I told her by the time she orders them I will be through the first trimester, so I will tell her then. I did tell her that I will probably step down, will still be a big part of the shower, and try my hardest to be a guest.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

Although it's hard, I would tell your friend that you can't commit as a MOH/BM but would love to help her throughout her planning process. Go dress shopping with her, give opinions, help with the shower, etc. But to say you will be in the wedding when you might either still be VERY pregnant, in labor or only a week or so post-partum is unrealistic. I'm sorry.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

Honestly, there is NOOOOO way I would've been up to even go to a wedding, let alone be in one, a week after giving birth. I had a C section and I was still barely getting around a week later plus I was exhausted ALL the time. If it were me, I would not only back out but tell her you're a "maybe" for even coming. You have no idea how you will feel after giving birth and that's assuming you don't go late in which case you can definitely forget the wedding. KWIM?

Also, you won't even have time for alterations after you give birth, god knows how a huge dress will fit right after giving birth.........your body is so funky right after having a baby. Nothing is in the right spot.

Message edited 1/8/2013 7:08:09 PM.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I was in a wedding 18 days after I had my DD. I had a repeat c/s. There is no way I would have been ok to be in a wedding one week after delivery. If you are late you could be in labor during the wedding. If you happen to deliver early, and you are two weeks from the wedding, then I think you could do it, but at one week, it is cutting it to close for comfort. I would talk to the bride now. I would tell her you love her and that you want to be there, but I don't think it is fair to her. I would tell her that if you can be there, you will, but I would let her know ASAP so she can plan for her big day too.

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

Honestly, 7 days after your dute date is probably the worst time to commit to being a MOH. Most (not all) first timers go late and from my experience it seems like alot go 3-7 days after their dute date. Which would put you basically in the hospital during her delivery. If you go a week or two early you probably aren't going to be up to going to a wedding, nevertheless, being a MOH. I had a fairly uncomplicated vaginal delivery and didn't start to feel like myself until 2 weeks after delivery. I'd talk to her now explain the situation. I'd tell her you'll try your hardest to be there as a guest or an honorary bridesmaid, but that you can't commit to being her MOH that day. Maybe offer to be really involved in any planning or prep she needs help with leading up the wedding.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I was sooooo swollen pp. I literally couldnt walk due to the swelling in my feet, as if you pressed my foot, the swelling literally depressed an inch deep. No way i could have worn shoes, even sandals. Plus you will be a tired new mommy adjusting and probably will not be up to this honestly. I would tell the bride and she why she says.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I was in a wedding one day after my due date. Your situation is a little harder, since it is a little while after your dd... You will probably have had the baby already.
Here is what I did-- I told my cousin that I would be happy to be in the wedding as long as I could physically do it... (in my head, as long as I was not actually pushing the baby out!)... She said that was fine, and had alternate plans for walking down the aisle, etc. in case I couldn't make it. I wound up still being pregnant and in the wedding, so it worked out well for me. As far as the dress, I assumed that I would still be preggo and ordered a size 22 (I am normally a 6!). So make sure you take that into account when you order... I don't know what I would have done if I was PP at that point, I guess I would have tried to tailor it! lol!
Bottom line is, definitely speak to your friend and see how she feels, and then figure out what to do together.
GL!

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

i agree with everyone else. i would tell your friend you can't commit but would still like to be there for her to help her plan

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

id say speak to her truthfully. there are many ways you can be involved regardless so you may not want to completely bow out, but give her the option too...

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

A week after your EDD, you could still be pregnant! Or you could be a week pp, or a day pp, or even in labor. So basically, I don't think there's anyway you can commit to being in a wedding that day. There's no way to predict now how you'll be felling or what dress you'll be able to fit into.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I can tell you this I was just in a wedding at 6 months preggo and it was a lot!!! Hard on your back and feet and the dress didnt fit right.. I had a great time but I cant even imagine if I was 9 months pregnant or just gave birth.. Unfortunately you might want to opt out or see if you can play it by ear with her! Hopefully she will understand but some people are bridezillas! lol

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I would be hopeful tha t I could be in a wedding before my due date because maybe I'd just be uncomfortable. However, I personally would not go to a wedding the first month after giving birth. I just wouldnt want to leave the baby that soon. The only way id go is if it was a sibling
, but I'm an only child so that wouldnt happen for me.

Re: Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I had a c-section and a VBAC... no way would I have been up for a wedding a week after my due date, either time. You're either going to be super pregnant or have a really tiny newborn.

I'd back out graciously. I'm sure your friend will understand.

Question about being in a wedding close to due date

I agree with the others. I had three c/s and would have been ok walking down the aisle after only my second. But I never would have made it through a whole day of wedding festivities. Plus - there is a chance you might go late and still be in the hospital.