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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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WWYD wedding on due date!
One of my good friends is getting married on my due date! They've been engaged for 2 years; we got the STD; it's my due date!
I can't decide if we should RSVP yes or no? She told me she understands completely if we won't be able to make it. Obviously I can be in labor/in the hospital; be uncomfortable; or home with a new born.
I don't want to say yes and they pay for us; and we don't show up (we'd still send a gift).
Do I just need to accept the fact we won't be able to go to her wedding? I would just hate to be home feeling GREAT that day and not be able to go because we RSVP'd No. (Altough I'm sure she would add us in at the last minute).
What would everyone else do?
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Posted 9/5/12 12:21 PM  |
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YourMama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 913 total posts
Name:
YourMama
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I would talk to her about it. Find out the last possible day she has to give the head count and if she's cool with it decide by then
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| Posted 9/5/12 12:29 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
Posted by YourMama
I would talk to her about it. Find out the last possible day she has to give the head count and if she's cool with it decide by then
This.
Since it's a good friend, I'm sure she'll understand and work with you so that you have the best chance of being there!
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| Posted 9/5/12 12:31 PM |
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heather10292010
Gonna be a big sister
Member since 12/10 1749 total posts
Name:
Heather
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WWYD wedding on due date!
you most likely have a long time before you have to rsvp since you just got the save the date and not the invite.... i would see how you feel as the deadline gets closer, and of course talk to your dr. How far away is the wedding? Would you be close enough to the hospital if you go into labor?
I don't think I would go -- but you really need to see how you are feeling closer to the date
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| Posted 9/5/12 12:31 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
i would RSVP no. Even if you haven't given birth, you will be days away and a wedding will be the last thing on your mind.
DH was in his best friends wedding 9 days after I had DS. I had a csection and could not make the wedding, 9 days later.
Play it safe, they will understand!
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| Posted 9/5/12 12:37 PM |
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sj-girl
Happy Family of 4
Member since 5/08 5654 total posts
Name:
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WWYD wedding on due date!
I know at some wedding hall that you can add people at the end but not take away people. Maybe if when she gives her head count she can no include you and if you make it to your dd and feel up to going she can add you on.
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| Posted 9/5/12 12:37 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
For weddings you normally don't have to give a final count until the week of the wedding. Just tell her you're a 'definite maybe' but it will have to be a game time decision.
I'm sure she'll understand.
Message edited 9/5/2012 4:49:40 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/12 1:36 PM |
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Mama2Max
LIF Infant
Member since 3/12 228 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I would say no and offer to attend the ceremony if you're not in labor or at home with a baby already!
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| Posted 9/5/12 1:37 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
i would speak to her and tell her you need to play it by ear - i am sure she will understand. I would tell her to count you as a no (and rsvp as a no), but hopefully she will be willing to do a last minute - day of wedding change if you feel up to it.
i got married last summer and even though you need to give a headcount a week early and make the final payment based off of that, we were able to tell them the day of the wedding we needed 2 more seats at table XX for a last minute couple that was able to come. and we were even able to tell them to remove a seats from another table for a friends date that canceled on us 2 days before the wedding.
i definitely wouldnt have her pay for you in advance though. catering halls are always willing to take more money from a couple but its always harder to get a refund.
Message edited 9/5/2012 1:50:47 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/12 1:48 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I'd let them know so they can NOT put you in for the headcount and not pay for you. They can leave a seat open for you and pay that day if you end up being able to attend.
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| Posted 9/5/12 1:58 PM |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I don't think there is any way in hell I would have gone to a wedding on my due date - esp because I gave birth on my due date. But seriously, the week before or after your child is born you will not feel like being a t a wedding, I think I can almost guarantee that.
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| Posted 9/5/12 3:12 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I'd skip it; they'll understand.
This happened to me twice. One of my friends was due the week before my wedding. Her son was 10 days old, and she couldn't leave him. Another friend of mine set her wedding date for the day after my EDD with DD1. I figured I'd either be huge and uncomfortable, in labor, or home with a very new baby. I rsvp'd no. She totally got it.
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| Posted 9/5/12 3:24 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
My first instinct is to say no. With my DD I was MISERABLE and SOOOOO uncomfortable at the end, the LAST thing I would have wanted to do was to squeeze into a dress and sit at a wedding all night. NO way. I was exhausted from not sleeping and swollen as can be.
Aside from that, I would be nervous about going into labor at any minute. My water broke at exactly 39 weeks and my DD came early. So you never know how those last few weeks are going to play out. Personally, I wouldn't stress about trying to make the wedding. You're at the absolute END at that point, the only place you're going to want to be is on the couch wishing for labor to start or in the hospital pushing that kid out!  
Message edited 9/5/2012 3:25:42 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/12 3:24 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
Respond no... And keep it a no... I gave birth on my due date so it's totally possible... And also, most of the time, the pregnant lady is feeling like total crap at the very end... I know I was... I didn't sleep for 2 days before I went into labor... Last place id want to be was in a party atmosphere
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| Posted 9/5/12 4:14 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
Posted by spa118
I don't think there is any way in hell I would have gone to a wedding on my due date - esp because I gave birth on my due date. But seriously, the week before or after your child is born you will not feel like being a t a wedding, I think I can almost guarantee that.
This is just what I wrote... Couldn't agree more!
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| Posted 9/5/12 4:15 PM |
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cutie
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 1893 total posts
Name:
Janine
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
If it is really important for you to try and go, I would go to the ceremony and respond no to the reception. If the ceremony and reception are in the same place, I would go to the ceremony and if you feel up to it, stay for the cocktail hour. No one will every know you are there and they won't have to pay for you, yet you'll still be able to talk to some of the other guests if you want to.
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| Posted 9/5/12 4:47 PM |
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jessw
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 512 total posts
Name:
Jess
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WWYD wedding on due date!
I would go. I have had an awesome pregnancy and my due date was yesterday and I felt fine and I would have loved something to take my mind off the fact that I feel no closer to going into labor
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| Posted 9/5/12 5:05 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
Posted by maymama
i would RSVP no. Even if you haven't given birth, you will be days away and a wedding will be the last thing on your mind.
DH was in his best friends wedding 9 days after I had DS. I had a csection and could not make the wedding, 9 days later.
Play it safe, they will understand!
ITA
DD was born one day early. I was still in the hospital with a 1-day-old on my due date.
Whether the baby is early or comes a week late, you're not going to want to be going to a wedding on your due date.
I like the idea by the poster who said go to the ceremony if you actually can once the date rolls around.
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| Posted 9/5/12 5:20 PM |
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KD718
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/10 493 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
How far is it from your home/hospital?
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| Posted 9/5/12 5:23 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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WWYD wedding on due date!
I would RSVP no just in case since its likely you won't be able to attend. Her wedding hall would most likely let her add you and your DH as last minute guests if you did happen to be able to go that day.
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| Posted 9/5/12 5:24 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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WWYD wedding on due date!
we had the same issue, DHs cousin was getting married 2 days after my due date. i had the RSVP of "maybe" in my bag. i never got a chance to mail it since i ended up delivering 7w early!!
i did end up being able to go to the wedding afterall!
i would discuss it with the bride/groom directly. its prob unnecessary to physically RSVP as long as you can discuss it with them.
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| Posted 9/5/12 6:17 PM |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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WWYD wedding on due date!
Thanks everyone! The wedding is only about 20 minutes from my house (40 from the hospital). I've been very close friends with the bride since H.S. We went to dinner with them a few weeks ago and discussed the wedding and baby being due on the same date. The bride said she would understand if we had to RSVP no. I can find out from her exactly when her final count is. But DH feels like many of you; that I won't be in any position to attend a wedding. And enjoy myself if we go. The baby could come early; and I could be home with a new born. Just don't think we want to take the chance having them plan for us to come and pay for our plate and then have to cancel at the last minute. Maybe we can just wait and see as the date approches. If there's no signs of labor the week before; maybe they can add us down as a YES. Thanks again for all your responses!!!
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| Posted 9/5/12 7:09 PM |
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I would respond no or she will have to pay for your seats when you most likely will not make it. Also, she can add you last minute if you are feeling up to it..I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be a problem!
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| Posted 9/5/12 7:37 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
Posted by InShock
Posted by YourMama
I would talk to her about it. Find out the last possible day she has to give the head count and if she's cool with it decide by then
This.
Since it's a good friend, I'm sure she'll understand and work with you so that you have the best chance of being there!
ita! u can always add on a couple days before,we did for our weddng
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| Posted 9/5/12 8:32 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: WWYD wedding on due date!
I believe I danced the night away with YOU at Pepe's wedding a few days before my due date 5 years ago.  We responded yes to them but they knew that we may or may not have been there. I'm not sure if they added us the night of the wedding or in the final count, but I will say that was one of the funnest weddings I went to! I danced all.night.long in my little 1" heels
I would tell her you want to be there but it will have to be decided the day of (or before if you go into labor before that obviously ..) Sounds like she understands, but also sounds like if you weren't in labor, you would want to be there for her,if you felt up to it.
Message edited 9/5/2012 9:08:53 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/12 9:06 PM |
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