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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
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Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
I was wondering who you are going to have at the hospital with you right before you go in for surgery. I was planning on having just my mom and DH with me and then my DH will go in the room with me. I am thinking about asking my IL's to stay at my house and watch my DS. He will be almost 13 months. After the baby is born my IL's can then come up and see the baby. I also think it is better for my DS to be iat our house than at the hospital.
I just know that I am going to be very nervous before I go for my c-section and I would feel most comfortable just having my mom and DH. Do you think I am being rude by not having my IL's at the hospital before and right after the baby is born? What are you doing?
TIA
Message edited 7/27/2008 3:09:25 PM.
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Posted 7/27/08 1:54 PM  |
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Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Question for girls who have to get a scheduled c-section
Only DH will be with me. For me, the less people te better. i'm going to ask my parents to take care of DD.
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| Posted 7/27/08 2:50 PM |
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newday21608
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/08 381 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
my mom and husband will be with me.. his parents i'm not sure where they'll be.. hubby says they are planning to come sit in the waiting room.. i'm not sure why. they aren't seeing me or the baby right afterwards..
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| Posted 7/27/08 3:49 PM |
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annie
This is how I play basketball!
Member since 6/05 1980 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
not rude at all. totally understandable. my mom & MIL were the only ones at the hospital waiting while I had my scheduled c-section.
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| Posted 7/27/08 4:49 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
I will probably be having my parents stay to watch my dogs. My ILs will stay where they live, about 2 hrs away.
Dh and I agreed, we don't want anyone waiting while I get the c-sec. We just don't feel there is a need. It could be hours and hours. We want to let people know when we are ready for them to come and if I am in recovery, I really don't want anyone but DH with me. Plus DH doesn't want to leave my side to go update people, show people the baby, etc. His main concern is staying with me, not entertaining people.
We don't really plan to have visitors until I am at least out of recovery, or maybe even next day. My ILs for sure will probably come next day, my parents maybe later that night ONLY IF I am feeling up to it. It's something we discussed and much prefer. I get more stressed having people around than being alone to be honest and I can't imagine my mom or dad making my pain any easier to bear, so it's best I recover alone for while with DH.
Message edited 7/27/2008 5:31:41 PM.
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| Posted 7/27/08 5:29 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
I honestly don't know how my delivery will go, but regardless of whether or not you deliver via c-section on vaginally, you have the right to have who you want (or don't want) there to support you. I already told DH that I do not want anyone watching me while I am in labor. I want it to be just the two of us. I realize that will be hard and people mean well and wish to support us, but it isn't about everyone else, it is about us and my level of comfort. They are perfectly welcome to wait in a waiting room.
With a c-section, not only do you have the worry of whether or not your child will be born healthy, but add to that the nervousness of prepping for a major surgery. You are more than entitled to feel as you do. I wouldn't consider it rude at all not to have your IL's there. If your mother serves as a source of comfort, then by all means she should be there for you.
When I see people with an entourage on Baby Story I am in a constant state of  . It does not take a village to have a baby.
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| Posted 7/27/08 5:44 PM |
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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Posted by Goldi0218
When I see people with an entourage on Baby Story I am in a constant state of . It does not take a village to have a baby.
 I know exactly what you are saying. I never understand why some couples on that show have so many people in the room with them.
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| Posted 7/27/08 6:09 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Well, you have to go to the recovery area and usually you don't have visitors but the person who was with you in the OR. So if your mom was in the waiting room, she most likely won't be able to see you until you get out of the recovery area.
If you want to see her, I think it's best to see how you are doing in the recovery area (I ended up there for 7 hours!!!!) and ask her to come visit when you go to your room.
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| Posted 7/27/08 8:46 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Posted by jprimrose
Posted by Goldi0218
When I see people with an entourage on Baby Story I am in a constant state of . It does not take a village to have a baby.
I know exactly what you are saying. I never understand why some couples on that show have so many people in the room with them.
glad i'm not the only one who feels that way
as of right now, c-section or not, i only want DH with me. everyone else is welcome to wait in the waiting room, but if they are smart they will wait to hear from DH that i am pushing to come to the hospital since i won't want anyone else in the room with me, and i'm sure it will just be a lot of waiting around. plus i don't want DH constantly walking out of the room giving them updates... it may be selfish but if i'm stuck in that room so is he!!
i don't think i'll have a problem seeing people right afterwards but i have no idea really... i've never been thru labor before 
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| Posted 7/27/08 9:03 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
I did not allow anyone but DH to be at the hospital. I told everyone else that they had to wait for about 2 hours before coming. I was not happy or excited about the c/s so for me I did not want anyone else around.
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| Posted 7/27/08 9:57 PM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
It is so funny that you posted this. DH and I JUST had this conversation with my parents today about this! I really want my mom and MIL in the hospital with us (well, in the waiting room). This is a major surgery and I really want my mom there. DS is really only comfortable with my dad so I would have my dad and FIL at my house with DS.
Depending on the day and time I am scheduled to go in, I will also need to have DS picked up from school (and possibly dropped off too depending on the time) so my dad can do that too.
Both sets of parents were in the waiting room the entire time I was in labor with DS. Until it was determined that I was having a C-Section, they were in and out of my room the whole time too. They kept DH company while I slept
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| Posted 7/27/08 10:13 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
I had my DH in the room with me only and my family came up with Julia and waiting till I had the baby outside the OR room, it was a scheduled c-section so DH was able to call everyone and tell them when to come up. My IL's took care of DD during the day for us, then came up with her when it was grandparents hours at the hospital, then DH would pick DD up at his parents house once he left me at night.
I don't think your being rude at all, my mom and dad came up early the morning of my c-section to keep me company and my IL's were at my house taking care of DD, they didn't mind at all. I'm sure they know you would rather have your mom with you. 
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| Posted 7/27/08 10:21 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
While I agree it doesn't take a village to have a baby, I AM a baby and needed to know my support system was ready and waiting for me right after I had Ava. I had my mom, sister and DH in the room with me before having my c-section, then everyone waited in the waiting (it was my mom, dad, sis, grandparents, aunts, uncles and inlaws! ). But this is how my family is. I guess we really lean on each other and like the support. I loved having them all there once it was through, and I was able to see them all while I was in recovery. I still remember waiting for my cousins to be born in the waiting room almost 21 years ago! I guess it's just what we do
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| Posted 7/28/08 6:37 AM |
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
It will be just me and DH. My mom is bringing Hayley to school that day and picking her up. After she give her lunch a probably a nap she will come up to the hospital...by that time I should be in my own room.
I don't know where my IL's will be. I would feel bad if they were waiting in the waiting room for nothing because its not like they can see the baby right away.
When Hayley was born I was rushed to the hospital by ambulence so my parents, my il's and one of my sil's all came rushing to the hospital and sat in the waiting room. After she was born they all went home and came back later that day.
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| Posted 7/28/08 7:50 AM |
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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by jprimrose
Posted by Goldi0218
When I see people with an entourage on Baby Story I am in a constant state of . It does not take a village to have a baby.
I know exactly what you are saying. I never understand why some couples on that show have so many people in the room with them.
glad i'm not the only one who feels that way
as of right now, c-section or not, i only want DH with me. everyone else is welcome to wait in the waiting room, but if they are smart they will wait to hear from DH that i am pushing to come to the hospital since i won't want anyone else in the room with me, and i'm sure it will just be a lot of waiting around. plus i don't want DH constantly walking out of the room giving them updates... it may be selfish but if i'm stuck in that room so is he!!
i don't think i'll have a problem seeing people right afterwards but i have no idea really... i've never been thru labor before
I know exactly what you mean about walking in and out of the room giving updates. With my DS I was induced and then had to have a c-section. When I was being induced I only wanted my mom and DH in the room. My DH told his parents he would call them once I got a room and was being induced. They did not listen and came up when I was waiting in the waiting room for a room. Then when I finally got a room and was being induced hid parents were sitting right outside. It felt so awkward. I wasn't being rude I just did not feel comfortable having anyone int he room when I was being induced and going through contractions. Of course my DH felt responsible for his parents so had to make sure he kept checking on his parents outside.
When my DH had to come inside the OR with me for my c-section my cousin said my MIL made a comment that my son just forgets about his parents. It is ridiculous that she needed attention when I was about to have a baby.
Then the next day I was still in the recovery room because NY methodist did not have any rooms yet. Don't ask. Of of course my IL's were at the hospital as soon as they could be, but so was my step-father Brother, SIL, cousins, and friend. I was only allowed to have 2 visioors in the recovery room at a time. I was so out of it beacause I had my c-section the previous night at 10pm and I was up all night waiting to see my DS. Anyway, my DH let my friend and then my cousins come in first because they had to leave. His mom was getting upset because she felt neglected. She didn't understand why they were allowed to go in the room first. She was causing all this drama in the waiting room.
She causes this kind of stress all the time. This is why I just cannot have her at the hospital when I am having my c-section. Actually I do not want to see her until I am out of recovery. She can come up after I have the baby to see her/him in the nursery, but that is it. I just can't take that stress after a c-section.
Sorry this so long. If you read this thanks for listening to my vent. 
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| Posted 7/28/08 8:48 AM |
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newday21608
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/08 381 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Posted by michele31
I did not allow anyone but DH to be at the hospital. I told everyone else that they had to wait for about 2 hours before coming. I was not happy or excited about the c/s so for me I did not want anyone else around.
this is what i want.. only i want my mom at the hospital too.. i need to let dh know this..
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| Posted 7/28/08 8:50 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
DH and I have been over this numerous times. Not one member of my family or not one of my friends is to be called until and unless I am in a bed in LDR or being prepped for a c-section (if that is to be my fate). It is not mine or DH's job to entertain the masses. Once I am settled and comfortable, they are welcome to come and wait.
We discussed this as far back as my first trimester. Even my mother, may she rest in peace, would say "What the hell do you need all those people there for." She used to watch A Baby Story too! G-d love her!
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| Posted 7/28/08 8:54 AM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
I want to have my DH and my best friend with me. That's it. I'm pretty sure my parents would tag along too....lol
XOXOXO
BOTB
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| Posted 7/28/08 9:25 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Posted by jprimrose
I know exactly what you mean about walking in and out of the room giving updates. With my DS I was induced and then had to have a c-section. When I was being induced I only wanted my mom and DH in the room. My DH told his parents he would call them once I got a room and was being induced. They did not listen and came up when I was waiting in the waiting room for a room. Then when I finally got a room and was being induced hid parents were sitting right outside. It felt so awkward. I wasn't being rude I just did not feel comfortable having anyone int he room when I was being induced and going through contractions. Of course my DH felt responsible for his parents so had to make sure he kept checking on his parents outside.
My MIL made a comment that my son just forgets about his parents. It is ridiculous that she needed attention when I was about to have a baby.
His mom was getting upset because she felt neglected. She didn't understand why they were allowed to go in the room first. She was causing all this drama in the waiting room.
She causes this kind of stress all the time. This is why I just cannot have her at the hospital when I am having my c-section. Actually I do not want to see her until I am out of recovery. She can come up after I have the baby to see her/him in the nursery, but that is it. I just can't take that stress after a c-section.
I am so sorry you had to go through this on your delivery day!
This is exactly my concern and why no one will be there. You are so right, no one is important but you on that day. So for your MIL to do this really was unfair and frustrating. You describe the exact senario I will personally avoid. 
Message edited 7/28/2008 12:02:59 PM.
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| Posted 7/28/08 12:00 PM |
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ThreeCats
Train Ride
Member since 5/05 3127 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
Just DH and I, My mom will watch our DS or maybe my Dad will watch so my mom can see DD in the nursery. But she will not be waiting with us before the c-section or be with me in recovery.
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| Posted 7/28/08 10:01 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Question for girls who have to get or had a scheduled c-section
My 3rd baby was a scheduled c/s. The ONLY person with me was DH. My surgery was originally scheduled for 7:00am, and I kept getting bumped. DD was not born till almost 1:00pm.
My mother was with my other 2 children, and the ILS were at their house. Once the baby was born, DH called everyone. I was in recovery for 3 hours, and no one was allowed to visit me in the recovery room (hospital policy, DH ONLY).
DH left after an hour to go get my 2 older children, and once I got to my room, DH and my children came to visit me. No one else came to visit until we had a chance to bond as a new family of 5 (about 2 hours after DH and my kids got there).
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| Posted 7/28/08 10:11 PM |
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