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bella321
Blessed!
Member since 3/09 1952 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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SAHM of Middle School Kids
DC are still not in school full time yet but I was thinking about my life as a SAHM (part time WAHM) and how life changes once they are older.
Once the kids are middle school-age, do most SAHM return to work (if not sooner?). I think I would feel reluctant leaving 11, 12 or 13 year old alone during the summer / school breaks if I were working (even if it was part time).
I realize I must sound like an overprotective mom. 
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Posted 2/27/15 8:28 PM  |
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FranM
And so it goes....
Member since 9/05 2217 total posts
Name:
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SAHM of Middle School Kids
I went back to work FT the summer before DS entered MS. This summer he will go to a day camp for 5 weeks and sleep away for 2, remaining time I will be off.
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| Posted 2/27/15 9:30 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
I went back to work this year when my oldest started MS and my youngest started 2nd grade. I am a teacher though, and have the same days off.
What kind of job would you be going back to?
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| Posted 2/27/15 9:35 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
IDK, DS is in 4th grade. Next year, if we decide so, he can go home by himself, without me having to pick him up, but I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready to let him go by himself to the playground, or to have the afternoon without me. I'm over protective and he is, somehow, independent, but he still needs me. We live in Manhattan, and while where we live is safe, I don't trust strangers.
Last year, a MS mom let her child go to the playground by himself for the first time, and that first time he got hurt. I know things happen, but if I can be there in case that he needs me… even far away with a book, I'll be there. (I was tutoring in the mornings while he was in school up to 2 months ago -no students now-. I might go back to that again).
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| Posted 2/27/15 10:03 PM |
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KangaMom
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Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Our plan is for me to be home through out their school years.
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| Posted 2/28/15 11:02 AM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
11 is the age you start leaving them home. My 1st was home everyday by herself after school at 11 as there is no aftercare in middle school.
My 2nd has his father usually at home by the time he gets home but there are days he comes home by himself and I live him here and there for a few minutes to run out.
You have to start little even though my dd went right from nothing to everything basically by staying home alone.
I find she is more independent though to do things like that then my ds.
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| Posted 2/28/15 6:59 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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SAHM of Middle School Kids
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
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| Posted 3/1/15 11:55 AM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
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| Posted 3/1/15 3:53 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
I'm a SAHM (my DD is in 1st and my DS is only 2yrs old) but when they are in MS I have NO intention of going back to work F/T. I feel like it's still important I am around for them even though they will be in MS/HS.
My plan, once my DS is in Kindergarten, is to *maybe* go back to sub'ing within my own school district. Maybe. I'll never go back to F/T teaching (or F/T anything for that matter) but being a sub is great because you aren't stuck with all the demands of F/T teaching (lesson planning, conferences, etc), you get to be in the schools which I enjoy, I can pick and choose when I want to work, AND I will have the same hours/days off as the kids. It's really a perfect solution for me if I do decide to work again.
By the time my littlest is in middle school I will have been home with kids for 17'ish years (they are 4.5 yrs apart) AND I'll be in my 50's a that point so I really can't see EVER going back to work F/T. It's not like we will need the money so I might just take the time once they are older to do things for myself as well as be there for the kids when they are home or when they need me to take them to their activities.
I'm so content being home, I really have no desire to go back to work. Like, ever. Sub'ing is the ONLY thing I would EVER consider doing. 
Message edited 3/2/2015 9:59:45 AM.
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| Posted 3/2/15 9:56 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
See... I went back to teaching this year. My school gets out before my middle schooler AND my 2 in elementary school. I am home for everyone after school and have the same days off. I love it.... the downside is having to hire a babysitter in the mornings to get them on the bus, but the trade off is not having anyone come home to an empty house 
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| Posted 3/2/15 11:31 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks 
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| Posted 3/2/15 2:03 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
I work part time, but I work afternoons so I'm not home for them. Right now we have a mix of child care. My mom watches Monday, my mil Tuesday, Wednesdays are kind if a mish-mosh, DH works from home Thursday, and I'm off Friday. We will probably stay like this until my little one is in middle school. By then my older will be old enough to watch them both.
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| Posted 3/2/15 2:48 PM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks
Gotcha. Do you have any other children that don't need as much extra care as your ds?
I just ask as how will they/would they learn to be on their own if not weaning them in their tween/teen years?
I just don't get parents who don't allow their kids to be independent but find it perfectly fine to send them off to college as 17/18 yr. olds with no experience doing things on their own. (not saying this is you but in general).
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| Posted 3/2/15 3:16 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks
Gotcha. Do you have any other children that don't need as much extra care as your ds?
I just ask as how will they/would they learn to be on their own if not weaning them in their tween/teen years?
I just don't get parents who don't allow their kids to be independent but find it perfectly fine to send them off to college as 17/18 yr. olds with no experience doing things on their own. (not saying this is you but in general).
Just because you're still around when your kid is in HS doesn't mean they don't become independent. My mom actually didn't go back to work until I was in 11th grade and I was VERY independent all through HS, did well in college, got engaged and then moved out at 22 (to another state), and then married my HS sweetheart at 23. I think I did okay even having my mom be a SAHM into my HS years. I worked, did my own laundry, helped around the house, had a social life, etc. All good things.
I don't think there is ever anything wrong with a parent being around and accessible to their kids no matter what age they are.
Message edited 3/2/2015 4:16:33 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/15 4:15 PM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks
Gotcha. Do you have any other children that don't need as much extra care as your ds?
I just ask as how will they/would they learn to be on their own if not weaning them in their tween/teen years?
I just don't get parents who don't allow their kids to be independent but find it perfectly fine to send them off to college as 17/18 yr. olds with no experience doing things on their own. (not saying this is you but in general).
Just because you're still around when your kid is in HS doesn't mean they don't become independent. My mom actually didn't go back to work until I was in 11th grade and I was VERY independent all through HS, did well in college, got engaged and then moved out at 22 (to another state), and then married my HS sweetheart at 23. I think I did okay even having my mom be a SAHM into my HS years. I worked, did my own laundry, helped around the house, had a social life, etc. All good things.
I don't think there is ever anything wrong with a parent being around and accessible to their kids no matter what age they are.
Neither do I but I just don't get how someone could say they would never allow their children to be home alone and then find it perfectly fine to have them go out on their own at 17/18 when they have had no experience on being independent.
Just because I work doesn't mean I am not accessible to my kids, no matter what age. I choose to make less money and work on the island so I can get to my kids at school or home in 10 mins or less. I also am glad that they know what it is like to not have mom there on an everyday basis so they can do things on their own and just be able to figure things out.
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| Posted 3/2/15 4:23 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks
Gotcha. Do you have any other children that don't need as much extra care as your ds?
I just ask as how will they/would they learn to be on their own if not weaning them in their tween/teen years?
I just don't get parents who don't allow their kids to be independent but find it perfectly fine to send them off to college as 17/18 yr. olds with no experience doing things on their own. (not saying this is you but in general).
Just because you're still around when your kid is in HS doesn't mean they don't become independent. My mom actually didn't go back to work until I was in 11th grade and I was VERY independent all through HS, did well in college, got engaged and then moved out at 22 (to another state), and then married my HS sweetheart at 23. I think I did okay even having my mom be a SAHM into my HS years. I worked, did my own laundry, helped around the house, had a social life, etc. All good things.
I don't think there is ever anything wrong with a parent being around and accessible to their kids no matter what age they are.
Well said
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| Posted 3/2/15 4:51 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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SAHM of Middle School Kids
Well, both my kids come home by themselves (15 and 11). They are doing just fine with it. Not everyone has the option to choose to be there after school.
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| Posted 3/2/15 4:59 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks
Gotcha. Do you have any other children that don't need as much extra care as your ds?
I just ask as how will they/would they learn to be on their own if not weaning them in their tween/teen years?
I just don't get parents who don't allow their kids to be independent but find it perfectly fine to send them off to college as 17/18 yr. olds with no experience doing things on their own. (not saying this is you but in general).
Just because you're still around when your kid is in HS doesn't mean they don't become independent. My mom actually didn't go back to work until I was in 11th grade and I was VERY independent all through HS, did well in college, got engaged and then moved out at 22 (to another state), and then married my HS sweetheart at 23. I think I did okay even having my mom be a SAHM into my HS years. I worked, did my own laundry, helped around the house, had a social life, etc. All good things.
I don't think there is ever anything wrong with a parent being around and accessible to their kids no matter what age they are.
Neither do I but I just don't get how someone could say they would never allow their children to be home alone and then find it perfectly fine to have them go out on their own at 17/18 when they have had no experience on being independent.
Just because I work doesn't mean I am not accessible to my kids, no matter what age. I choose to make less money and work on the island so I can get to my kids at school or home in 10 mins or less. I also am glad that they know what it is like to not have mom there on an everyday basis so they can do things on their own and just be able to figure things out.
My response wasn't meant to start a working mom vs. SAHM debate. I was simply responding to make the point that even if a mom chooses never to return to work her kids will still turn into fully functioning adults. That's all. You don't HAVE to go back to work to teach your kids independence.
Years ago the norm was for women to NEVER work and miraculously all of those children who had a parent home until they moved out managed to grow up and function in the world on their own.
Message edited 3/2/2015 5:59:15 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/15 5:57 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
I'm a SAHM of 1st grader and pre k. I might be working by the time they are in middle school, but they will never be alone after school. Either after school activities or a sitter will be a must.
Summer is another problem, they can't be home alone all summer !
One issue is , if I do return to work, we will be paying for sitters or aftercare for a very long time
I'm not worried about their independence, at all. If I'm fortunate enough to not have to work FT, I would prefer to be here for them.
Message edited 3/2/2015 7:01:47 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/15 6:55 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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SAHM of Middle School Kids
My daughter is only in 2nd but as long as our financial status doesn't change, I will be home for her throughout HS. Everyone's situations are different and everyone's children are different so what works for one family may not work for another. Just because I will be home does not mean I won't ever leave her alone. I'm sure I'll be going out with my husband and leave her home alone when she is of age, but as a norm, I want to be there for her if she needs me.
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| Posted 3/2/15 7:28 PM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by Millie3
I'm a SAHM of 1st grader and pre k. I might be working by the time they are in middle school, but they will never be alone after school. Either after school activities or a sitter will be a must.
Summer is another problem, they can't be home alone all summer !
One issue is , if I do return to work, we will be paying for sitters or aftercare for a very long time
I'm not worried about their independence, at all. If I'm fortunate enough to not have to work FT, I would prefer to be here for them.
They CAN be home alone in the summer. It is not unheard of.
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| Posted 3/2/15 7:57 PM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by BargainMama
Our district offers after care options for middle school. I would not allow my child to come home to an empty house after school. Ever. I stay home for this reason. Some people do, but that is something I'm not comfortable with at all.
Our middle school has after school clubs and extra help and sports. If parents don't want their kids to come home, they can do these type of things to stay later.
When you say "ever", does that mean in middle school or in high school too?
My son is in HS, I'm home for him. Granted he has high functioning autism, but if he didn't, I would still be home ;) Again, different strokes for different folks
Gotcha. Do you have any other children that don't need as much extra care as your ds?
I just ask as how will they/would they learn to be on their own if not weaning them in their tween/teen years?
I just don't get parents who don't allow their kids to be independent but find it perfectly fine to send them off to college as 17/18 yr. olds with no experience doing things on their own. (not saying this is you but in general).
Just because you're still around when your kid is in HS doesn't mean they don't become independent. My mom actually didn't go back to work until I was in 11th grade and I was VERY independent all through HS, did well in college, got engaged and then moved out at 22 (to another state), and then married my HS sweetheart at 23. I think I did okay even having my mom be a SAHM into my HS years. I worked, did my own laundry, helped around the house, had a social life, etc. All good things.
I don't think there is ever anything wrong with a parent being around and accessible to their kids no matter what age they are.
Neither do I but I just don't get how someone could say they would never allow their children to be home alone and then find it perfectly fine to have them go out on their own at 17/18 when they have had no experience on being independent.
Just because I work doesn't mean I am not accessible to my kids, no matter what age. I choose to make less money and work on the island so I can get to my kids at school or home in 10 mins or less. I also am glad that they know what it is like to not have mom there on an everyday basis so they can do things on their own and just be able to figure things out.
My response wasn't meant to start a working mom vs. SAHM debate. I was simply responding to make the point that even if a mom chooses never to return to work her kids will still turn into fully functioning adults. That's all. You don't HAVE to go back to work to teach your kids independence.
Years ago the norm was for women to NEVER work and miraculously all of those children who had a parent home until they moved out managed to grow up and function in the world on their own.
Oh I get that as my mom was home until I was 19. I was speaking for the parents who wont let them stay home alone but expect them to when they graduate. All or nothing.
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| Posted 3/2/15 7:59 PM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter is only in 2nd but as long as our financial status doesn't change, I will be home for her throughout HS. Everyone's situations are different and everyone's children are different so what works for one family may not work for another. Just because I will be home does not mean I won't ever leave her alone. I'm sure I'll be going out with my husband and leave her home alone when she is of age, but as a norm, I want to be there for her if she needs me.
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| Posted 3/2/15 7:59 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Millie3
I'm a SAHM of 1st grader and pre k. I might be working by the time they are in middle school, but they will never be alone after school. Either after school activities or a sitter will be a must.
Summer is another problem, they can't be home alone all summer !
One issue is , if I do return to work, we will be paying for sitters or aftercare for a very long time
I'm not worried about their independence, at all. If I'm fortunate enough to not have to work FT, I would prefer to be here for them.
They CAN be home alone in the summer. It is not unheard of.
My kids WILL NOT be home alone in the summer, period. I don't like the idea and my DH is an even bigger worrier.
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| Posted 3/2/15 8:06 PM |
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Re: SAHM of Middle School Kids
Posted by Millie3
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Millie3
I'm a SAHM of 1st grader and pre k. I might be working by the time they are in middle school, but they will never be alone after school. Either after school activities or a sitter will be a must.
Summer is another problem, they can't be home alone all summer !
One issue is , if I do return to work, we will be paying for sitters or aftercare for a very long time
I'm not worried about their independence, at all. If I'm fortunate enough to not have to work FT, I would prefer to be here for them.
They CAN be home alone in the summer. It is not unheard of.
My kids WILL NOT be home alone in the summer, period. I don't like the idea and my DH is an even bigger worrier.
They are young still. I would have said the same thing.
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| Posted 3/2/15 8:13 PM |
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