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Shiva questions - pls help!

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itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9644 total posts

Name:
Me

Shiva questions - pls help!

I’ve never been to a Shiva before and I am Catholic so I need some guidance here!! My very good friend’s grandmother has passed away and I would like to attend the Shiva. I don’t know her family well as she lives out of state and I haven’t seen her family in maybe 15 years.

My questions - what do I bring? Food? What type of food and where can I get it? Want to get something that will be useful and appreciated! I’m in Nassau so someplace near would be great! Do I bring a card or anything else? What should I wear and anything else I should know? All advice very very much appreciated!!!!

Thank you so much!

Posted 12/15/22 6:29 AM
 
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult

Member since 7/08

22665 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Shiva questions - pls help!

Kosher dessert is perfect. No need for a card unless you'd like. I usually either send fruit basket if I can't make it or a tray of kosher cookies or cakes.

If it's not the funeral then anything is fine to wear. Casual and obviously respectable. LOL! Not like you're coming from the gym or a club. LOL

Just nice to show up, pay your respects, talk to the family and keep them company. There will be plenty of food and the mirrors will be covered.

We are not super religious so not too picky on what food comes to the house.

Posted 12/15/22 9:05 AM
 

itsbabytime
LIF Adult

Member since 11/05

9644 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Shiva questions - pls help!

Posted by EricaAlt

Kosher dessert is perfect. No need for a card unless you'd like. I usually either send fruit basket if I can't make it or a tray of kosher cookies or cakes.

If it's not the funeral then anything is fine to wear. Casual and obviously respectable. LOL! Not like you're coming from the gym or a club. LOL

Just nice to show up, pay your respects, talk to the family and keep them company. There will be plenty of food and the mirrors will be covered.

We are not super religious so not too picky on what food comes to the house.



Thanks so much this is so helpful! All black attire? Thanks again!

Posted 12/15/22 6:07 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7993 total posts

Name:

Shiva questions - pls help!

no need to wear all black just causal dress. Tradition states not to knock on the door, just enter the home during Shiva hours. The family will be sitting on low chairs close to the floor. They should not be getting up to greet anyone. You go to them. I also recommend only bring Kosher (K) or parve food incase they have family following kosher diet. If you don't bring anything that's okay as well. Yes, you can bring a card. If you want to send of bring food it should be from Ben's, or a kosher butcher, they usually have prepared food. You can bring Bagel Boss that's dairy only food items.

the mirrors are covered because those sitting shiver are not suppose to see their reflection, its not a time to worry about appearances.

The family will be wearing a piece of torn clothing on their body.

Message edited 12/15/2022 7:09:07 PM.

Posted 12/15/22 7:05 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19458 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Shiva questions - pls help!

If you want food, Ben’s deli, bagels, a kosher dessert are all appropriate. Regular clothing is fine for their home.

Posted 12/16/22 6:20 AM
 
 

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