Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

Yes, there are "wishes" and there is reality.

IMO...I think it is irresponsible to have children you don't money to raise then realize later that you are going to have to eat with food stamps.

That being said, if you know AHEAD of time that you will make sacrifice and you KNOW what position you are putting yourself into and it is calculated then it's not a problem.

It's about informed choices.

For example:

You have 3 kids but you can't afford daycare. There was no way you could afford 3 kids from the get go. You just keep maxing up your CC. I think this is irresponsible. We are not talking about someone losing a job, a parent dying and leaving the SO in a bind. Although I do think you should "cover" yourself as much as possible (insurance, savings, etc..).

You have 3 kids and you know you are going to cut the exotic vacations and the 2 Range Rovers in the driveway and all the take out but that's YOUR choice. Selling your house to move in an area you can afford. I see nothing wrong with that. It's about a family who DECIDES to change their lifestyle to have the family they wanted. Or you might to keep renting the apt you live in. But all is known from the get go.

Message edited 10/23/2008 2:53:27 PM.

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

No, I don't think so. This is it. This is the one chance we get, so we should do what makes us happy.

But at the same time, I plan to have my second child when my son starts school so that I can take a career break, so yes.

Its a real conundrum.

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

It should play a part in your decision. But in reality as long as you can provide food shelter and love, that is most important. A lot of "necessities" really aren't. I am shocked that so many people feel that there will never be "enough".

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

I do think that finances should absolutely be considered. To me it's very important to give DD a sibling and, luckily for us, the money for #2 will not be a problem (right now anyway...who knows what will happen in the future, but we're trying to plan well.) DH & I both feel that is important to have more than 1 child AND to be able to provide for both of those children. I think if we were struggling financially, we would do everything we could to afford 2 DC. But, I think we would stop at 2 if we were really struggling with affording basic things.

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

I do think that finances play a part but it's also about being responsible. I believe if you want it to work, you'll find a way.

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision

in our case, yes. but we've found that while we think we can't afford another child, we'll do whatever it takes and make any sacrifices to make it possible. it's worth it.

Re: Should your finances play a part in the decision