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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
I have only been home a few days but my oldest, is completely different since bringing home his little sister. Acting out, tantrums, throwing things, crying fits, hitting, ignoring me and his little sister. I want to cry...
please tell me it's short lived. I want my angelic little boy back....
Message edited 2/1/2011 12:28:04 PM.
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Posted 2/1/11 12:27 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
It's normal, just try to give extra attention to him. Praise him for helping you, getting things, go over the top.
I hope that helps him!!
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:29 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
How old is your older one?
My dd was 13 months when we brought her sister home. She kind of ignored me & DH for that day, and for about a week after, she wanted whoever was holding the nb to hold her (i.e., if I was holding dd#2, #1 would cry, I'd hand #2 to DH, then #1 would want HIM to pick her up - no win situation), she would want a bottle whenever my NB had one, she would take her sister's bottle...definitely jealousy issues.
She was over it in about a week though, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't remember life w/o her sister anymore.
I'm sure it's different depending on the age, but maybe that helped a little.
Congrats, btw!!
ETA: I was also told if they both needed me at the same time, try to tend to the older one first if possible- he'll remember, the younger one won't.
Message edited 2/1/2011 12:33:12 PM.
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:32 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
The beginning can be so difficult. I tried to make my older DD feel like she had some control and was helping with decision making & that seemed to help. If I was with my older DD and the baby started to cry, I wouldn't just jump up & rush over to her. I'd ask my older DD what she thought we should do...do you think she is hungry...should we check her diaper....is she done sleeping...can you help me? I just recruited her and told her that I really needed a big sisters help. It worked for us (and this is why she thinks everything is about her ). My DD was 2.5 years old when her sister was born.
What about making a reward chart and whenever he helps he gets to put a sticker up? Then after a set number of stickers he would get some type of reward.
Message edited 2/1/2011 12:36:59 PM.
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:35 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
This is my DD. She turns 2 tomorrow and lately has been a nightmare!
She is very sneaky with the baby too. She will say she's going over to kiss him but at the last second, head butt him. I'm really at my wits end with it, but know that it's a phase. I give her plenty of extra attention and that seems to help (sometimes).
I wish I had better advice. It's hard.....
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:36 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
yes, it's normal.. :(
just be patient (to an extent of course) and try to take time out each day to have just you and him time.. it'll help in the transition..
I also never referred to any of the younger sibings as "baby." it was always (to my son) your sister or by her name.. they are all my babies and I didn't want him to feel slighted.
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:39 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Ugh, Nina was 23 months when Luke was born but for about the first 6-8 months she was very difficult. She became a completely different child. Now, I think we are back to normal, or maybe it was just because she turned 2, who knows? I tried to include her in everything but honestly, nothing worked except time.
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:42 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Unfortunately, it is completely normal.
Think about what a huge adjustment it is for your older one. To go from being the center of attention to having to share attention with a baby.
Do you have anyone to help you? Someone who can watch the baby for an hour, so that you can have one on one time with your DS?
Try to keep his routine the same as possible and give him special attention. Don't force the baby on him.
It DOES get better with time.
After about 4 weeks, my DS completely forgot that there was a time when DD was not around. He loves her to death now and always wants to hug and kiss her.
Hang in there. It will get better!
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:53 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
he seems to have no ill feeling towards her, just me...he is practically ignoring me. It does not help that I am recovering from a horrible c section...and i cannot pick him up!!!
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:55 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Based on my experience this summer, it takes about 3 months for peace to come back to the house.
My cousin's advice to me was to not hold the baby so much.. it was probably good advice, too. I couldn't do it often... I was BFing and I liked holding him all the time.. 
What will help, once you're healed, is a mommy-DS day. A day that's all about him, no baby, no other people. Eventually he'll come around.
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| Posted 2/1/11 12:58 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Posted by Lucky
The beginning can be so difficult. I tried to make my older DD feel like she had some control and was helping with decision making & that seemed to help. If I was with my older DD and the baby started to cry, I wouldn't just jump up & rush over to her. I'd ask my older DD what she thought we should do...do you think she is hungry...should we check her diaper....is she done sleeping...can you help me? I just recruited her and told her that I really needed a big sisters help. It worked for us (and this is why she thinks everything is about her ). My DD was 2.5 years old when her sister was born.
What about making a reward chart and whenever he helps he gets to put a sticker up? Then after a set number of stickers he would get some type of reward.
great advice!!!
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| Posted 2/1/11 1:00 PM |
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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
yes for me..DD#1 had a hard adjustment. shes was 2 1/2 and i felt soooo bad. i cried too.. Honestly i does get better.. they adjust.. DD#1 is almost 4 and DD#2 is 16 months and they love each other so much... they are forever kissing and hugging. DD#1 is so very protective of her little sister. its so sweet.. hang in there
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| Posted 2/1/11 1:01 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Posted by MrsFlatbread
he seems to have no ill feeling towards her, just me...he is practically ignoring me. It does not help that I am recovering from a horrible c section...and i cannot pick him up!!!
That was the toughest part for me. The healing from the c-section.
I wanted to cry so badly when DS just wanted to be held or picked up, or wanted me to give him a bath, put him to bed.
I hated the feeling that DS would not understand why I couldn't hold him.
I actually showed him my c-section scar (still taped up) and said that mommy has a very bad boo boo and it hurts to pick him up so that he would know why.
my DH completely stepped up to the plate and showered DS with affection to make up for me not being able to pick him up.
Have him sit on the couch with you and cuddle with you.
Within 2 weeks I was feeling much better (not pick him up better), but at least I could get down on the ground and hug him and let him sit on my lap.
Also remember that your hormones are totally out of whack right now. I hated myself for putting DS through this. I hated thinking that I took his whole world away from him. But it was just me, being wayyyy emotional.
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| Posted 2/1/11 1:05 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Posted by jambalady
Posted by MrsFlatbread
he seems to have no ill feeling towards her, just me...he is practically ignoring me. It does not help that I am recovering from a horrible c section...and i cannot pick him up!!!
That was the toughest part for me. The healing from the c-section.
I wanted to cry so badly when DS just wanted to be held or picked up, or wanted me to give him a bath, put him to bed.
I hated the feeling that DS would not understand why I couldn't hold him.
I actually showed him my c-section scar (still taped up) and said that mommy has a very bad boo boo and it hurts to pick him up so that he would know why.
my DH completely stepped up to the plate and showered DS with affection to make up for me not being able to pick him up.
Have him sit on the couch with you and cuddle with you.
Within 2 weeks I was feeling much better (not pick him up better), but at least I could get down on the ground and hug him and let him sit on my lap.
Also remember that your hormones are totally out of whack right now. I hated myself for putting DS through this. I hated thinking that I took his whole world away from him. But it was just me, being wayyyy emotional.
this is exactly how i feel...exactly....
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| Posted 2/1/11 1:08 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Significant changes in older child once baby is born?
Posted by MrsFlatbread
this is exactly how i feel...exactly....
It WILL get better.
Just remember that you are giving your DS a gift in a sibling. This stage will pass. Things will become normal again and you will have a new routine. It just takes time for everyone to adjust to the new dynamic.
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| Posted 2/1/11 1:14 PM |
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