Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

With divorce being so common do you think that marriage is "over rated" in this day & age? Do you think it is logical to spend your life with one person when pple r living later and later in life and have so many life choices possible?

eta: this may not be the best "crowd" to ask since many of u have taken that vow


Personally I think what marriage/commitment mean have completly lost its value, and its sad to see pple marry, remarry, divorce as if its no big deal (this is seen in celeb couples more so then average pple BUT i think in some cases regualr pple treat it verry nonchalantly, and are more worried about the "idea of marriage" or making there wedding good and not there marriage.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I'm married so I am obviously biased but I think marriage is a viable and important institution. People have a lot more freedom and education these days (so if you divorce, you can support yourself) so I think some people go into marriage with the attitude that "if it doesn't work out, we'll divorce," which is a real shame. Marriage is work but it is incredibly rewarding and special.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Message edited 3/30/2007 1:21:35 AM.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think it depends on the person. People are getting married later and I think you get used to having "everything" -- career, home, a comfortable living situation on your own -- and so sometimes marriage takes some getting used to. However for some people there is nothing better then being married. Ultimately I think it depends on the person but for me personally I couldn't imagine not having my DH and having a family with him.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

when i am pretty much guaranteed having a person to comfort me, support me, and be faithful to me forever, its a beautiful feeling that can only be understood by those that are actually married.

i did not grasp this fully until the day we said our vows and each day that i wake up and go to sleep with my husband, is the best day in the world and i dont think anything compares to that feeling of security and contentness...

so essentially, i think that marriage is actually underrated.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think marriage is an incredibly important institution. I think children born to married parents *might* grow up with a more stable environment and knowledge that their parents are a unified front.

That said, I think the divorce rate also has to do with women becoming more self-supporting. fifty years ago if a husband cheated or beat his wife, the woman might have to stay because she could not become financially independent and support herself and her children. Now women have higher levels of education, more are working, and more are secure enough to be able to get out of a bad situation.

Were all marriages rosy 60 years ago? I don't think people were any happier, but I think divorce was not an option for many.

I believe in marriage, and I want my marriage to work, but if at any point we were miserable and exhausted every avenue of trying to make things work, I would divorce instead of choosing to live my life in misery to prove the point that marriages should last.


ETA: I love, love being married. There is nothing like the security and happiness it brings. However, I have seen men, newly married, putting down their wives and almost verbally abusing them, because the union also makes it easier to force women to stay. I feel for women getting verbally abused so early on in marriages because I only see it getting worse.

Message edited 7/18/2006 11:27:44 AM.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think that marriage isn't taken as seriously as it used to be. In the past, couples would work hard to solve problems, I think that today people are too quick to divorce when things aren't working out the way they should be.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Your chance at a successful marriage is 50/50 so why not take the chance that you will be in the half that make it? I would not change a thing about my life...I am also glad my parents took the chance and got married cause I was born! Everything in life is chance..if you never take the chance you will never know the outcome.

ETA: oo c*ap, I neglected to mention that I would not trade my hubby for the world...not even for a chance to shack it up with Dale Jr. That is a high compliment in my mind!! If you know me...that is the highest compliment I can give to anyone!!

Message edited 7/18/2006 11:41:16 AM.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I wouldn't say that its overrated as much as it is taken too lightly.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think marriage is underated also

having grown up witnessing the great marraige that my parents had- I want to have the same thing- the way my Dad took care of my Mom when she got sick - it was amazing

I hope the Jake and I can achieve the same level of happiness they had

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Marriage IMO is underrated. My parents are great example of this.

The problem is people are not taking their vows as seriously as they should. They are not willing to work through thick and thin.

Message edited 7/18/2006 11:29:18 AM.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think people who take marriage lightly are overrated. It seems that the Hollywood couples are in a trap where if they are dating or in a relationship they are in the limelight, but if they are single it is even worse for them. I think the press making a big deal out of it is the problem.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Not at all! I think that celebrities are over-rated!

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

i think to compare a common marraige to a celebrity marriage is not a great idea. celebs lead different lifestyles and don't look at it the same way we do.

i think marriage is underrated, and i cannot wait to say my vows in 16 days

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think that people need to realize that marriage is work. We have the thoughts of getting married and living happily ever after in our heads since we are little girls. No one tells us that there will be hard times, and fights, and disagreements that come along with the great times, the wonderful memories, and all of the other good things. I think once you have an understanding of that - and you vow to work at your marriage and make it better every day than you will be happily married.

Alot of people give up because they have such high expectations of what marriage should be like.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I don't know if I agree that it's overrated... But I do think that the institution of marriage, at least in some people's eyes, has lost some value.

(Note: my parent's and DH's parents are divorced, so I may be slightly more cynical).

There is the fact that people are more educated... especially women... Years ago, it was also much more difficult to get out of an unhappy marriage, and much more frowned upon.

Also, people grow and change... ideally they grow and change together, but sometimes they don't. I look at my parents, and wonder how in the world they ever got married. Both are remarried and have much better matches now. However, I don't even have any memories from when they were married (they seperated when I was 3, divorced when I was 4), so it's possible they were two very different people.

I would love for them to still be together... but an even stronger feeling is my desire for them to be happy... and I know that they are both much happier now than they would have been together. I was also lucky and they did work together to make my childhood as good as it could be... which I know wasn't always easy.

But I digress... Unfortunatly I just feel sometimes people grow apart... and while I would hope that they would do everything in their power to resolve the problem, sometimes it just doesn't work that way. It really isn't healthy for the people involved, or their children, if they stay together just because that was expected of them.

But that's just my opinion.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I don't think marriage is overrated as much as I think that people misunderestimate how much work it is and have skewed perceptions about what kind of work goes into it.

Marriage isn't 24/7 happiness (I really think that some people think it's supposed to be effortless); when some people enter it and realize that marriage is a different realm from dating, they see divorce as a way out. DH and I believe that if you approach marriage with the attitude that you can always just get a divorce - you just might end up getting one.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I am divorced.. I really wanted it to work I did .... unfortunately it didn't and I am now remarrying .. do I take it lightly no ... but to be honest .. I am not staying with someone married or not if I am not happy bottom line .. hopefully I can be happy who knows a lot of things changed when I got married ALOT so how can you ever tell?

Message edited 7/18/2006 11:47:47 AM.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

No, I dont think marriage it over-rated. But I do think that some couples don't fully believe in their vows and take them seriously. It's become too commonplace to get divorced if it doesn't work out.

My parents are still happily married after 42+ years, and DH's parents are still married after almost 40 years. And both sets of parents were great role models. They worked through their problems together.

I don't think marriage is over-rated. I believe in it 100%.

I'm still a newlywed, but I truly hope that DH and and have a long healthy life and marriage together.

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

I think that marriage isnt overrated but it is very hard and it is easy to get out of these days. Independence, people marrying late in life they have made it so people do not "need"on another. You should never be reliant on another person totally, but people do need people. So think that it is a lot easier to just get up and leave a relationship when you feel you do not need the other person.

Also, I think a lot of people move very fast. It is is great to be in love but maybe once the novelty wears down and you realize that you and the other person are not as compatible as you thought you were. Every relationship is different. JMO

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?

Re: Since divorce is so common, do you think marriage is "over-rated" ?