Small living space - feeling guilt

I just need a vent and sound board. DH, DD, and I , live in a 1-bedroom co-op that we have had in the market for a year with no bites. Space is tight. I dealt with it okay when DD was a newborn, but now she is 8 months,a nd my heart is absolutely breaking. There's limited room for her to crawl, play ball, have bigger toys. How can a little kid not have a kitchen set? How do I choose between that and a dollhouse-type toy? Forget about a stroller for her little dolls, or a little table to play tea at, Etc., etc. She doesn't even have her own room, and whole the logistics of the sleeping arrangements sharing a room with us are fine, it saddens me that she doesn't have her own room. Is anyone else in th same boat? How are you emotionally managing without guilt? Any practical tips?

Small living space - feeling guilt

We live in a one bedroom and I feel bad that she doesn't have her own room but I remember that we are providing her with everything she needs. The kitchen would be nice to have but it's not necessary. She loves just hanging out with us and she is thriving.

As long as your baby is smiling, laughing and you provide her with love, clothing, fresh diapers and food she does t need much trust me.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

I'm sure you've thought of this, but how's closet space? Is it possible for you to clean stuff out/ store stuff at a relatives house to make more room for some of the bigger toys you mentioned? I think your DD will be just fine w/o those things, but since you're feeling bad, maybe there's a way you could make room for something? Is there any extra room in your kitchen to put a small play kitchen. The one we got is maybe 2 feet across and 3 feet high. And all the food stores right in it. Also, the Little People doll house is small, and perfect for toddlers. Just some ideas.

We have a small 2 bedroom house and a on the way. Regardless of gender, DD will be sharing her room. It will be tight, but I plan to make it as nice and organized as I possibly can.

Just remember, there are always people who would be happy to have what you already have!!! Try not to dwell on all the things DD doesn't have, and be happy about all the things you can provide for her. (I know-easier said than done).

Small living space - feeling guilt

My DS is 2 and we're in a 1br. We love our place and are starting to look now because it's getting tight. But we rotate his bigger toys out. Also he has a ton of things to play with at both of his grandparents' houses, so we'll go there for a change of pace. But honestly my son has a boatload of toys and we do puzzles all day because that's what he's into.

Your DD is young for all of those things. By the time she's ready for them your living situation could be different.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

We used to live in a small 2 bedroom with 2 kids in Manhattan. We would rotate large toys and store toys in my parents' basement in LI. Lots of people find solutions for small living space in NYC. Our entire living room was basically a toy room. We were able to fit a train table and small toy kitchen. Our bookshelves had toy bins instead of our books. You can make it work.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

They don't know what kitchens are! As long as they are happy with you and what toys they do have they are fine.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

We had 2 kids in a tiny apartment. I felt bad when my first was born. Then I got over it! We did a lot of shuffling with things in and out of the garage. We moved when oldest dc was 2.5 YO. Don't feel bad, now we have the house and still have no play kitchen or very big toys lol! You have plenty of time, your db is so young

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

See a new realtor about the apartment. Maybe need to clean it up a bit, stage it, or drop the price.

As for all the stuff... Minimizing is good. I know people who have big houses and take over the dining room for toys that kids touch once a week. It's all excessive. With 2 kids older than yours, we rotate 2 boxes. We have a small box of a play kitchen that fits in our kitchen. Anywhere chairs just create clutter as do kiddie tables. Ikea is good for space saving ideas and has decent quality toys.

Remember, kids only need love!

Small living space - feeling guilt

Honestly they do t need all those toys. They have no clue what anybody them are until its bought for them. They aren't missin out on anything.

I never had a kitchen or stroller for my dolls. Not because of space but because my parents never bought them for me. I'm a perfectly well adjusted adult.

As long as you kids are happy and healthy you dont need much else.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

We lived in a one bedroom Apt until my DD was 3. her toy box and kiddie table were in my living room. Toys everywhere! We started running out of space too. Eventually we bought a sleeper Couch and slept in our living room every night. And gave DD our room. It was tough on our backs since sleeper sofas arent the most comfortable, but worth it for my DD to have more room. When I got pregnant with second DD we decided to go into a 2 bedroom apartment and now the girls will share a room once the baby is out of the bassinet.

Small living space - feeling guilt

Just keep in mind she's only 8 months. She doesn't need everything right now, she has her whole childhood to play with a kitchen and dollhouse! I rotate out DD's toys bc otherwise she hardly even notices them. DD has tons of toys and her favorite things are cups, a scrap of fabric she pretends is a tissue or washcloth, and a little piece of cardboard she pretends is a box of cheerios or yogurt melts! Less stuff=better imagination which imo is a great thing!

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

The wonderful thing about babies is that they are happiest just being around YOU and basically need very very little to be happy.

I was in a 2 bedroom apartment when my first was born..we were there for 3 years. I had a small living room with a few toys, and although of course I wished I had more space at times, can honestly say it was fine. He had everything he needed...and family pretty much laid off of buying large gifts for bdays until we moved into our townhome.

So many families are in little apartments with small children. It works out and only becomes a bit harder to manage once they are older but you have time for that...don't worry, I assure you your baby thinks nothing of it!!

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

We had a 2 bedroom and just bought a house. DD has a huge playroom with every toy under the sun. She has everything you mentioned and doesn't play with any of it. But I can give her a shoe box and she's happy as can be. Your love is more than enough. Give your DD some tupperware or paper to play with. Trust me, the other stuff isn't important, especially at 8 months old.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

DH and I both grew up in tight homes (budget-wise and size-wise). He shared a bedroom with two siblings until he was 10yrs old, and my parents raised 3 kids in a 2bedroom home until I was that age, too. (bro had his own room, sis and I shared a room, parents slept on pull-out in LR). You do what you need to do and make it work. Tupperware, pots/pans - who needs a toy kitchen when you can let the kids play in the real kitchen?

This lifestyle has stayed with us, though. Our home now is not giant, but we have 3beds, 3BA and even 3LRs (formal one no one uses, family room we're always in, then a den with toy room attached) and we're considering putting all three boys in one bedroom so they'll be closer to each other as they grow up.

Re: Small living space - feeling guilt

Ha! We are in a small one bedroom co-op, DS is going to be 3 in a few weeks, and I'm expecting baby # 2.

We are getting ready to put our place on the market in the next few months.

DS has a small area where I keep his toys - I make sure to rotate/get rid of a lot of toys so we don't have a living room filled with them.

While there is no space for big toys (my brother got him a huge work bench for Christmas last year and its still in a box at my moms), he isn't missing out on things.

They don't 'need' certain toys just because. If you have no space then you have no space.

The most important thing is that she is happy, healthy and loved. The other stuff is material things.

Small living space - feeling guilt

We live in a small 1 1/2 br apt. She has her own room...but half of it is also our stuff. Her stuff has taken over the living room...we even got rid of our coffee table to allow more space for her to have. Most of the big stuff is stored at our parents house. If we want to go outside to play in her pool then we have to head to one of our parents house. It sucks....but remember they don't know what they don't have. As long as they are happy...safe...and healthy...just make the best of the situation right now.