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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Speaking of judgmental moms...
There is a woman I see maybe once a year or so at DH's partner's house for special events (she's married to the partner's nephew).
The last time I saw her, I was pregnant, and she was asking what I was going to do when the baby was born. I told her I planned on going back to work at 3 months. She took her 3 month old baby, plopped it in my lap, and said, how could you leave a baby this small with a stranger?  She's a SAHM with 3 kids while her DH works from 7am-10pm everyday at a big firm.
So, I knew I was in for trouble today when we went over to the partner's house for his 50th birthday party and she's there. She makes a beeline for me, asks me a question or two about Alex, and then this was the conversation:
Her: You stay at home with Alex, right?
Me: No, actually I work full-time.
Her: (yes, she made that face). You work full-time?! How can you do that? It must be soooo hard!!
Me: No, not at all, I love my job.
Her: You love your job? 
Me: Yes, I do. And, I love her daycare, she does really well there.
Her: Wow, it must be so hard for you to be away from her all day
Me: No, not really. It helps that DH has a flexible job so we both spend a lot of time with Alex when we aren't working
End of conversation. Oh, wait, no, she proceeded to ask me about how long I nursed Alex and why I weaned her so early at 6 months 
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Posted 7/29/07 9:47 PM  |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
 some people are SO rude and should just mind their own business.
 Im sorry she gave you such a hard time.
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| Posted 7/29/07 9:50 PM |
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lorimarie
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 3753 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
I hate people like that - kudos to you for keeping your cool!!!!!!
Next time slap her and say its from me 
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| Posted 7/29/07 9:51 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Oh yeah, gotta love THOSE convos.
DH's best friend's-fiancee's mom (yeah---real close) had something to say on me working FT and Bella being in daycare...and went on QUITE a bit on fourth of July about it
I hate feeling defensive...
and who is she to say anything when you and DH see Alex and have a more balanced existence than her DH working 16 hours a day...
Whatevs...
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| Posted 7/29/07 9:54 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Posted by mommy2bella
Oh yeah, gotta love THOSE convos.
DH's best friend's-fiancee's mom (yeah---real close) had something to say on me working FT and Bella being in daycare...and went on QUITE a bit on fourth of July about it
I hate feeling defensive...
and who is she to say anything when you and DH see Alex and have a more balanced existence than her DH working 16 hours a day...
Whatevs...
Seriously 
Anyway, my consolation was that everyone there kept coming up to us and just gushing about how beautiful Alex is, in front of this chick and her kids. I could tell she was getting a little annoyed.
HA! Take that you judgmental moron!
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| Posted 7/29/07 10:10 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Very aggravating.
I think the worst comment I got was from a dad.
He owns a hedge fund and his wife is a SAHM.
He said "How does it feel to be having a stranger raise your child?"
I said "No one is raising my child but me. I think it's great that my kids are being exposed to other people early on."
Later, his wife cornered me to talk about daycare. Seems his little genius son had anxiety issues .
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| Posted 7/29/07 10:13 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Posted by nrthshgrl
Very aggravating.
I think the worst comment I got was from a dad.
He owns a hedge fund and his wife is a SAHM.
He said "How does it feel to be having a stranger raise your child?"
I said "No one is raising my child but me. I think it's great that my kids are being exposed to other people early on."
Later, his wife cornered me to talk about daycare. Seems his little genius son had anxiety issues .
LOVE it
Sometimes I hate people. Particularly judgmental, mean people.
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| Posted 7/29/07 10:15 PM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Some people are soooo rude I credit you for keeping your cool!!!
I was speaking to a mom the other day about how i'm considering hiring a nanny (rather than using the daycare center my DD goes to) when I have my second since my DH works long hours and I need the help. She gave me a snotty look and said "you know your children are going to think she's their mother! Are you ok with that?"
Message edited 7/29/2007 10:20:34 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/07 10:19 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
What an idiot
Good for you for keeping your cool!
I have no doubt that with a mother like that- those poor kids will have such problems. And of course Alex will continue to grow to be the social, vivacious smart cutie she already is 
You could always be a b*tch right back and say- WHAT? Your kid doesn't play with 10 other kids every day?? Do they socialize? How does he/she know how to talk to other people? WHAT? You nursed for HOW long? Was it wierd for your child to have other people see her? She must have been so traumatized when you weaned her.
Message edited 7/29/2007 11:11:41 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/07 11:04 PM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
That woman has some issues if she feels the need to be so confrontational and difficult. People can be so rude sometimes.
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| Posted 7/29/07 11:14 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Beth & Barbara -
 I cannt beleive what some people say to working moms!!! 
instead of them saying
and God Bless you for being able to do so much.
Luckily we have this forum where SAHMs and working moms can say to eachother
only we can understand eachother
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| Posted 7/30/07 12:20 AM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Wow I commend you for keeping your cool! If you really wanted to you could have definitely grilled her on her arrangement- you and your DH have flexible hours so at least Alex gets quality time with both her parents!
I hate when people judge and put you on the defensive!
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| Posted 7/30/07 12:23 AM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
I can't stand pushy moms. Next time she says something to you about you working ask her why she doesn't get a job and pull her weight, lol.
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| Posted 7/30/07 4:14 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
This woman obviously is not completely happy as a SAHM and is jealous that you have a fabulous job that you love AND allows you to spend quality family time together. Kudos to you for not giving her a beating!
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| Posted 7/30/07 7:08 AM |
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aliasPook
Blessed x 3
Member since 6/05 2460 total posts
Name:
Laurie
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
I think you handled that very very well!
I LOVE my job too, and I am an having number two, and I get the same comments that she gave you.
Your response was just a lot nicer than mine usually are... 
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| Posted 7/30/07 7:51 AM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
well if it makes you guys feel any better - I often get judgements passed because I don't work...so I guess we can't win!!
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| Posted 7/30/07 8:06 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Posted by MrsR
well if it makes you guys feel any better - I often get judgements passed because I don't work...so I guess we can't win!!
Competitive, judgemental women... that's what makes the world go 'round, right?
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| Posted 7/30/07 8:14 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
I love your dialog....you rocked not backing down and being so confident.
It's unbelieveable how judgemental people can be.
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| Posted 7/30/07 8:19 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by MrsR
well if it makes you guys feel any better - I often get judgements passed because I don't work...so I guess we can't win!!
Competitive, judgemental women... that's what makes the world go 'round, right?
This is why women will never get the power in this country that men have. We are too busy judging and picking on each other to support one another. 
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| Posted 7/30/07 9:06 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
It's so true. Really, really sad, but really, really true.
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| Posted 7/30/07 9:22 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Speaking of judgmental moms...
She obviously lives a very sheltered life to think that her way is the best (and only) way. I'm sure Alex is so much more well-adjusted, outgoing, and overall much happier. Sometimes people really need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves. If anything, it makes her look like an idiot.
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| Posted 7/30/07 9:26 AM |
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