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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
A few years ago we went to BIL's house for Christmas (OOS). DH's whole family flew or drove in to celebrate. DH's sister's is married to a Muslim man and they raise their daughters Muslim.
SIL (the hostess) insisted on making ham as the main dish- knowing that eating pork is a no-no to Muslims. She actually made a comment to me that in her house they always ate ham on Christmas and she wasn't changing it to suit anyone else.
She also made some sort of casserole for DH's sister's family to eat (in addition to the sides).
Me? I though that considering the MYRIAD of options she could have chosen as a main course (in my family it was always turkey, by BF always had a big Italian dinner), the whole tense situation could have been avoided.
WDYT?
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Posted 9/13/08 11:49 AM  |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
I think that since she made something for them as well, then there's no reason to break a tradition that means a lot to her. That's what diversity is all about. Learning each others cultures and sharing them together.
Message edited 9/13/2008 11:54:09 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 11:53 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
In that case, if I were her, I would have made a turkey or a ziti or something else for them to eat where they wouldn't have to feel like they were eating a side dish.
That is a religious reason, and I think that is so important to them, you know?
ETA: We should have a playdate when I am MD, you said that you aren't that close, but maybe we could meet in between?
Message edited 9/13/2008 11:56:43 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 11:54 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
she made something else for them to eat, I don't think that's wrong.
eta: I don't eat pork products and my MIL made a ham on Christmas last year. but she also made meat lasagna, which is what I ate.
Message edited 9/13/2008 11:59:27 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 11:56 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by KateDevine
In that case, if I were her, I would have made a turkey or a ziti or something else for them to eat where they wouldn't have to feel like they were eating a side dish.
That is a religious reason, and I think that is so important to them, you know?
ETA: We should have a playdate when I am MD, you said that you aren't that close, but maybe we could meet in between?
You know I was thinking that!! BUT- I'm due November 9 and I can guarantee if I'm feeling like I was when I had Maddie (like I'd been run over by a truck ) I might have to opt out.
Lets play it by ear though- I would LOVE to finally "meet"!
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:00 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by KateDevine
In that case, if I were her, I would have made a turkey or a ziti or something else for them to eat where they wouldn't have to feel like they were eating a side dish.
That is a religious reason, and I think that is so important to them, you know?
ETA: We should have a playdate when I am MD, you said that you aren't that close, but maybe we could meet in between?
You know I was thinking that!! BUT- I'm due November 9 and I can guarantee if I'm feeling like I was when I had Maddie (like I'd been run over by a truck ) I might have to opt out.
Lets play it by ear though- I would LOVE to finally "meet"!
Totally!!! I would love to "meet" too. And see the new baby
Plus, my SIL's are 3 yrs and will be 5 months, so if you are up to it, we would definately have fun
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:05 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Being who I am, I would never want to offend someone's religious beliefs, so I absolutely would have stayed away from pork.
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:05 PM |
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
I think it's rude...I would offer turkey or chicken. I understand not wanting to break tradition, but this is a religious belief and that should not be poo-pooed especially at Christmas...I would be very hurt by this and if the holiday was to hosted with them the next year I would say something. I can stomach a lot but this goes beyond rude to ignorant
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:07 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
If I were in her position I probably would've made a smaller ham (if it meant THAT much to me) and a smaller turkey, or even a turkey breast- this way everyone had their 'choice' knowing that those who wouldn't eat ham for religious reasons could have a 'main dish' as well.
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:11 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
she made something else for them to eat, I don't think that's wrong.
eta: I don't eat pork products and my MIL made a ham on Christmas last year. but she also made meat lasagna, which is what I ate.
I agree. DH and I are not kosher by any means, but we don't eat pork. We have friends that always have dinner parties, while they ALWAYS have some sort of Pork, or dish that might have pork in it, they always have something that we can eat as well.
It's not like she didn't have something else for them to eat.
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:20 PM |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
I just wanted to add that the Muslim family was there celebrating a non-muslim holiday. I think its awesome that they chose to be there and participate. I've read that Muslims can join other families during Christmastime, but there are restrictions. One of them is to try and stay away from any alcohol, but it doesn't say that if there is alcohol, then they should leave the situation. I don't think that sharing a tradition should be offensive, especially when there is no intent to offend.
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:23 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by jeanyus27
I just wanted to add that the Muslim family was there celebrating a non-muslim holiday. I think its awesome that they chose to be there and participate. I've read that Muslims can join other families during Christmastime, but there are restrictions. One of them is to try and stay away from any alcohol, but it doesn't say that if there is alcohol, then they should leave the situation. I don't think that sharing a tradition should be offensive, especially when there is no intent to offend.
I just want to add that not all Muslims obstain from alcohol, or pork. I think it's just like Judaism - some Jews eat pork... probably more than just 'some'
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:25 PM |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by jeanyus27
I just wanted to add that the Muslim family was there celebrating a non-muslim holiday. I think its awesome that they chose to be there and participate. I've read that Muslims can join other families during Christmastime, but there are restrictions. One of them is to try and stay away from any alcohol, but it doesn't say that if there is alcohol, then they should leave the situation. I don't think that sharing a tradition should be offensive, especially when there is no intent to offend.
I just want to add that not all Muslims obstain from alcohol, or pork. I think it's just like Judaism - some Jews eat pork... probably more than just 'some'
very true
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:28 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
My DH's family is Muslim and I would NEVER make any pork product when they would be over.
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:41 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Well, I'm Jewish and kosher style. I don't eat pork, shellfish, milk and meat together, etc...
When I go to someone's home, I don't expect them to cook especially for me- especially if it was a big family meal. I would expect them to make a dish I could eat, but if they planned on cooking shrimp, pork, chicken parm (etc..), I wouldn't expect them to cook especially for me.
As a hostess, I have had vegetarians come over. No one has ever expected me not to serve meat for the other 15 people at the table, so long as there are a few veggie options for them.
As for a religious thing, I would want to be respectful. I probably would have served something else.
Now, if it were just them coming over, I wouldn't make a meat dish.
Message edited 9/13/2008 12:47:08 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 12:45 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by Shelly
Well, I'm Jewish and kosher style. I don't eat pork, shellfish, milk and meat together, etc...
When I go to someone's home, I don't expect them to cook especially for me- especially if it was a big family meal. I would expect them to make a dish I could eat, but if they planned on cooking shrimp, pork, chicken parm (etc..), I wouldn't expect them to cook especially for me.
As a hostess, I have had vegetarians come over. No one has ever expected me not to serve meat for the other 15 people at the table, so long as there are a few veggie options for them.
As for a religious thing, I would want to be respectful. I probably would have served something else.
Now, if it were just them coming over, I wouldn't make a meat dish.
This is pretty much what I was going to say.
I keep kosher similarly to Shelly. My DH is a little more kosher in that he doesn't eat any nonkosher meat. When our friends have BBQs, they will pick up Hebrew National hotdogs for him and cook them separately so that they don't touch the other meat, but he would never expect them not to eat the things that they normally have.
I have friends who are glatt kosher (more kosher than our home is), and when they come over, I make sure to have food that is kosher to the level that they are comfortable eating, but still serve other things as well.
As long as there is some main course and side dishes that everyone attending can eat, I think that's fine.
Message edited 9/13/2008 1:20:28 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 1:19 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
considering that she did make somethign else just for them, i don't see anything wrong with it at all. people who dont' eat certain foods be it for religous beliefs, health reasons, or just personal choice...such tend to understand that not everyone is going to eat and feel the same way as them. my sister's BF is muslim and when he has come to dinner and such, he stays away from any pork products whatsoever, however he never says "i can't even be NEAR it" he understands that we eat it and he's okay with it, he just avoids it.
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| Posted 9/13/08 1:29 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
I don't understand why people are saying the hosts should not have eaten their traditional Christmas meal and they were rude. Unless there is some kind of religious edict that the family can not be in the same room as the ham, which I don't think is true, I think what they did was fine. The only thing I may have done differently was make an alternative meat main dish for the Muslim guests, maybe a small turkey breast or a chicken, so that they didn't feel like an afterthought.
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| Posted 9/13/08 1:48 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
She made something else. Im sorry but if this is a tradition and something I eat EVERY YEAR im not changing it JMO
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| Posted 9/13/08 2:16 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Dh's family is Muslim and Hindu. At holidays they make Beef anf Pork, and something else (usually pasta and a fish). They try to keep a happy balance of all religions in the family. We have yet to have an issue. They respect each other enough not to let the "meat" get in the way. for thanksgiving they stick with the turkey.
Message edited 9/13/2008 2:40:21 PM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 2:39 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by prncss
Being who I am, I would never want to offend someone's religious beliefs, so I absolutely would have stayed away from pork.
I agree. Would it have been such a sacrifice to make something else? I would hate to make my guests uncomfortable.
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| Posted 9/13/08 4:43 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Posted by jeanyus27
I think that since she made something for them as well, then there's no reason to break a tradition that means a lot to her. That's what diversity is all about. Learning each others cultures and sharing them together.
completely agree. no one was forcing them to eat it and they had a completely seperate meal made just for them, which was the right thing to do.
cultural diversity is just that---learning to respect and understand each other's differences. you don't have to change your own since you might ofend someone else.
there's no reason to break tradition since there was plently of other food there for them and made especially for them.
if she didn't make the casserole, that would have been wrong.
she did the right thing.
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| Posted 9/13/08 4:49 PM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Honestly I don't see what's wrong with having some flexibility and not making the ham. It would just be the right thing to do to not make the ham IMO. I really find it odd when people say that they're not changing what they do for anything or anyone...especially for something as trivial as a ham. so what you don't make a ham one year. That's more important that family relations? JMO
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| Posted 9/13/08 5:07 PM |
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JRG71
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Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
Because of my DD's food allergies, I am pretty sensitive to all food situations.
I would have skipped the ham and made a turkey.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:23 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spin-off the Kate's vegan Thanksgiving post....
I would definitely NOT have cooked pork at all.
However, it depends on the muslim family members. If they're used to it and don't mind there isn't necessarily a problem with doing side by side entrees.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:41 PM |
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