Spinoff to birthday parties

I hate them.

We had one on Saturday. Friend from the neighborhood, backyard party. They had a bounce house and some craft activites, she also has a slide, sandbox and some other backyard outdoor toys.

DS cried the whole time. The whole time. He never does well at birthday parties and I'm always stressed out and embarrassed. We even left early because he was just not having it and I felt like his behavior was really taking away from the birthday boy. He liked the bounce house until other kids got it in with him, then he wanted out. He did the craft activity (it was pouring different colored sand into containers to take home) but he wanted to pour the sand all over the table. He kept trying to run out of the yard through her gate. He was jumping all over the place and crying/whining. All he wanted to do was sit inside and play in the boy's playroom. I get that's it's all overwhelming, I just didn't see a way to make it better for him, so it just succked.

And the happy birthday song. Ugh, the friggin happy birthday song. He hates it, hates it. I don't know why but every single party we go to whenever they start singing he starts crying. It gets to the point now where right before they sing I take him out of the room until they're done. He doesn't mind group singing during circle time in school or his library playgroup but he HATES happy birthday. The only time he's happy is when he's eating the birthday cake.

We walked there and when we left early I just cried along with him the whole way home. I just feel so awful that he has such a hard time at parties, I just wish he could enjoy himself like all the other kids. I just wish I didn't get pity stares from all the other moms.

Just a vent.

Re: Spinoff to birthday parties

I'm so sorry your DC isn't having fun at parties and you are embarassed. My DS doesn't like them much either and refuses to leave my side at the start. Sometimes he winds up getting interested in the activities, the best one we have been to recently was a backyard party much like the one you are describing. A McDonalds party was okay for him too--he loved the play area. But there have been a few disasters--I won't go to bounce places like Pump it Up anymore with him. And really big birthday parties usually don't work well.

At the start of the party, he often says he doesn't want to go. I tell him we are going to say hello to his friend, leave the present, and see what it's like. I tell him after about 20 minutes, we can leave if he really doesn't like it. We have left early twice. I do think it's important for him to get used to parties, but some work out better than others.

It's hard though when it looks as if all the other kids are having a blast and yours is not.

Re: Spinoff to birthday parties

Forgot to add--DS hates the Happy Birthday song too, or he doesn't like it when it is sung by a lot of people. He told me last year he didn't want anyone to sing to him at his party, and we didn't. This year he said he doesn't want to hear it either.

Re: Spinoff to birthday parties

Birthday parties are difficult for us too. I'm all for letting my DD go to almost everything because I think the exposure is good for her, but I have just started limiting the amount of parties we go too. I don't want to detract to much from the birthday boy/girl or the parents to waste the money on my DD. We will not go bounce house parties anymore because she's scared of them. If there is a place with a DJ we don't go. The sounds are too loud.

DD HATES the happy birthday song too. She screams and cries as soon as she knows it's going to start. I now take her out of the room when they are about to sing and we do not sing at her birthday at all.

Re: Spinoff to birthday parties

I am so sorry. I know all too well what youre describing, except its anywhere. I am nervous to take my oldest ANYWHERE. I am so tired of staying home b/c Im afraid of what he will do or say or what his reaction will be. My other 2 younger children are so easy but I cant take them anywhere b/c I have DS1 with me. I have to keep a closer eye on him that my 2 year old! I know it may be different, but I know what you're saying. My son really doesnt have friends so I tried bringing him to a moms group/playdates and every single one ends with me feeling embarrassed and him crying or someone else crying. Huge hugs!

Re: Spinoff to birthday parties

This was us a few years ago at a block party. I feel your pain. We left early too, because of the SAME reasons. As we went to more and more of these parties, Christopher did MUCH better.I know it is so tough, and it S U C K S!!!!! when people look at you and think you are the worst mother in the world. But it does get better and easier.

Re: Spinoff to birthday parties

My DD was the EXACT same way. She just turned 7 and still does not want Happy Birthday sung at her party.

I feel your pain. You go to these events because you want your child to do what other children do. You think it might be better/different this time. It is stressful, heart breaking, anxiety filled. You feel anger, embarrassment, resentment and then mourning- because your child is NOT like everyone elses.

I understand... All you can do is TRY. Go and do your best, for as long as you can and then call it a day.