Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

http://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic-292876-1.html

Did you have a stance on co-sleeping pre-baby?

Did you change your mind once they were here & co-sleep?



I ask because I was ADAMANTALLY against co-sleeping. I would go on & on at length about it...and never say never...did it.

Message edited 5/29/2008 4:30:49 PM.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I always try to remember that most of the world sleeps with their babies, we in western cultures are prett much the only ones who keep their babies in separate beds.

I think co-sleeping is great and people have misconceptions about it, it can be safe and for some people, its the only way. They wouldn't dream of putting their babies in a bed in a separate bedroom. I co-slept for a short time and I did enjoy it, but in the end, I enjoyed my big fat bed and my big fat husband more...so at six months, the kid went into his own bed in his own room.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I was adamant about not co-sleeping for alot of the reasons why that article says BUT I had my own reasons as well. To me, our bed is for me and DH to sleep in. Mommy and Daddy don't mind having the kids in it with us inthe morning to watch some tv or snuggle in, but it's for us only. Once I had the kids, I was still very adamantly against it and never went back on my word on that stance.

Message edited 5/29/2008 4:39:39 PM.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I was firmly against it, for a variety of reasons, mostly because I'm a worrywart and was scared to death something might happen.

And, I can say, I never co-slept with Alex, not because of all those reasons I thought of while I was pregnant, but mainly because Alex is the NOISIEST and most active sleeper alive. I couldn't get an iota of sleep, even when she was just in the bassinet next to my bed!

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I said I would never do it before I had DS. Now DS is frequently in our bed. He is 7 months. In the beginning I would BF him in the lying position in the bed and then we would both fall asleep. I knew the what if's but did it anyway.

I love having him sleep next to me.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I don't have a strong opinion either way on this, to each their own as long as it's done safely IMO.

We have yet to bring DD into our bed, which I'm perfectly ok with. I just feel that we all sleep better that way. To be honest, I'm completely surprised we haven't caved yet, I'd love to snuggle with her, but I'm a nervous freak and it would stress me too much I think so in separate beds we'll likely stay.

ETA: I just realized I forgot our colic stage. When DD was really colicky for about 2 months, I slept in our chair in the living room with her in the boppy on my lap and with my feet on the ottoman. She didn't even move an inch so I wasn't nervous about it at all. Also was very convenient for nursing. So I guess I've kind of done it, but not in my bed.

Message edited 5/29/2008 4:48:54 PM.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

My sister did and couldn't break my neice of the habit. I VOWED I never would... and then I did.

It wasn't our policy, but on particularly bad nights, we woudl let her sleep with us. We still do occassionaly. However, we rarely get any sleep since she is so active.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I did not think I would ever do it. I did not see the need to or understood why people did it.

I changed my mind once DS was born.

We did not co-sleep until he was 2.5 months. It was not for the whole night and we were VERY careful how we did it. I did not sleep as well as if I did not have an infant in the bed but I actually slept more than if I did not. He never slept the whole night but would for 4-6 hours per night.

We did it for about 2-3 months.

I think there is a "safe" way to do it. It's not for every parent and every child.

It worked for us.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

LOVE IT. Did it with both babies and neither me or DH regret it. Obviously it didnt affect our intimate life since we have two beautiful kiddies and minimal sleepless nights.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

Posted by Shelly



It wasn't our policy, but on particularly bad nights, we woudl let her sleep with us. We still do occassionaly. However, we rarely get any sleep since she is so active.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

Pre toddler I was against it.

Post toddler (well in the midst of toddlerdom) - I do it.

I was so dead set against co sleeping - because of the dangers, and the impact on my marriage - but honestly, its the only way DD1 will sleep. She starts in her crib every night, but by 3am she wants us. There were/are medical reason as to why I don't let her CIO anymore - I don't know.... I guess until you walk in those shoes you can't really judge. So I don't.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I said I wouldn't do it, and still feel that way, but after having a baby who has been waking up 5 times a night and difficult to get back down because of rashes and teething, I TOTALLY understand why some people do it.

I am staying home with DS right now, so I feel like if he has me up at night, I can somehow get a short nap during the day. If I were back at work, it would be a lot more tempting to bring him into the bed. I am so afraid of rolling over on him and I really don't think DH or I would get any rest at all if he were in the bed with us.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I have two very good friends who had their 12 year olds still in bed with them, so I was a little leary of the idea before I had DS. Now, it is a different story -- I am afraid to have DS sleep with us. Sometimes by DH brings him in bed with us in the mornings on the weekends. It makes me very nervous.

It was always a no-no when I was a kid. My dad slept in only his undies and I was not allowed under the covers with my mom and dad. So, if I wandered in on a weekend morning, I could only sleep on top of the covers in the valley between them.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I bought one of the bedside co-sleepers for the convenience of her being close for feedings. I just do not feel comfortable with her sleeping in our bed. While I know many other countries do it, many other countries typically don't work as hard as americans and with such long crazy hours, have maternity leave, and long "holidays". But if people in the US feel comfortable doing it, then go for it.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I wasn't vocally against it before kids, but I did think my friend who wasn't doing it at 2 was too long, but then I thought how lucky she was when her son (the one she coslept with) was give a non-hopeful cancer diagnosis - what great time she spent with him! (he is in remission now, but I still think that it was wonderful that she had that time)

I tried the bassenette with both of mine and after a month it just wasn't working, so we co-slept up until 4 and 6 months - it is very comforting hearing their breathing. it worked for us. I also read that the a lot of injuries and deaths from cosleeping are when drugs/medications/alcohol are involved causing the parent to go into a deeper sleep.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I thought co-sleeping was for the super earthy, crunchy granola set. I had an adorable nursery with a beautiful crib all set up for my son.

And then I co-slept.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

i was against it before and am against it now..

IMO it is a bad habit

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

Cosleeping never worked for us. When she was little my paranoia prevented me from actually sleeping and now that she's a toddler our bed is only viewed as a trampoline in her eyes. I'm so glad she prefers her crib so much easier for all parties involved.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

Swore I wouldn't do it...

I also thought:

I would never breast feed, or like breast feeding.

I would have any desire to be a SAHM.

I would ever allow my child to have sweets or fast food.

Or that the highlight of my day would include figuring out whether Uniqua from the backyardigans was a male or female..

Children change everything.

Never say never!


http://lafemmebonita.com/blinkies//Pregnancy%20and%20Babies/Proud_Cosleeping_familly.gif>

Message edited 5/29/2008 6:08:33 PM.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

always said no baby in our bed and stuck to it.

Josh would LOVE to cosleep...its completely in his nature. For that, I feel bad....

but, I dedicate every minute of every early waking hour to him. I need to get away from him.

Josh threw my marriage for a loop, changing our sex life because of a baby in our bed was only going to hurt us more.

My mother always said, if you want to see a naked man, come into my room because that is exactly what you will find...needless to say, none of us ever coslept.

But same holds true for us...naked sleepers, middle of the night quickies...(he works nights)

I would never judge another family if it works for them.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

Posted by dpli

Posted by Princessmaris
Or that the highlight of my day would include figuring out whether Uniqua from the backyardigans was a male or female..

you mean you actually don't think she is a girl?!?!

Message edited 5/29/2008 6:35:58 PM.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I never had a strong opinion on it before having a baby. I actually didn't have a strong opinion on many parenting things before having a baby.

We don't cosleep on an average night. Usually we give a three strikes you're in bed with us rule. If we get up three times to tend to an upset baby, she comes in bed with us. It never lasts more than one night. We didn't start this until she was 9 months or so.

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

I am not against, per se. But we could never do it. If Christopher is sick and absolutely miserable then Chris sleeps on the couch because he is a very deep sleeper.

We have a full bed and two not so skinny people and and a dog, poor Christopher wouldn't stand a chance

Also, my ILs co-slept with DH and my FIL rolled over on my DH and he turned blue .

Re: Spinoff to CoSleeping (on Parenting)

We have the co-sleeper and I was so anti-having a baby in bed. I thought it was terribly dangerous and unnecessary. Needless to say, Ryan sleeps with me/on me. The co-sleeper is merely an ornament on the side of my bed. i won't let him in the middle of the bed or to sleep with DH. I know I'm up for every slight move DC makes - but DH is a sounder sleeper and it freaks me out to think of them sleeping together.
Anyway, it's so much easier since I nurse. We're now talking about transitioning him into the crib but I'm to think about it - I'll miss him.