Spinoff to financial advice post

I will make this a poll so if some people don't want to answer with a post, they can still share where they are...

Is there anyone on here with kids that can say, "financially - we are doing GREAT!"

I just feel like I can't be the only one who goes thru financial issues....

We don't shop. There are very few luxuries in our lives. I stuff myself like a sausage into pre-preggo clothes (which are fitting because I am not eating - one benefit that at least takes care of my clothing problem...) I gladly take hand me downs. I use coupons like crazy. We are working with debt consolidators.

And I'm thinking - we both have jobs. We dont own a home, why are we going thru this????

We can't be the only ones going thru this... And I'll see moms posting about it on here as well, so it makes me feel at least some of us are in the same boat.

But, if there are moms who are totally in a good place financially, I would love to at least hear how.


Or at least feel like we are all in this together...

Message edited 9/21/2007 8:45:40 PM.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

The majority of people I know are going through financial issues. Dh and I included.
We both have good jobs and we are lucky to have a savings and 401ks but we have CC debt. We do own a hom ebut we bought 21/2 yrs ago so we have a high mortgage. I would like to be a SAHM again but financially it would mean giving up our house. I am a bit resentful because its the most important thing to me in the world to take care of my kids and I so wish that just by cutting corners I could stay home but I cant. We have BILLS.
The one thing that keeps me sane is I buy somehting nice for myself every payday-doesnt have to be big but make sure you reward yourself so the resentment doesnt eat away at you-MORE.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Until my house was sold last week, I couldn't see daylight with the bills. Every month I was in the red somewhere between $500 and $700. It didn't help that STBX didn't pay for squat, but I digress. I "think" that if he tried more/made more/didn't squirrel his cash/spend it on his geriatric girlfriend, we would have been okay. When I walked away from the house, I was carrying over $20,000 in debt. What a relief to know that every paycheck, I'll be able to put $$$ away for Amber's future, etc. There was never any question that I would work full time after the baby was born; it was the resentment that built from having to work 2-3 jobs (full time and two part) in order to keep the house "afloat" while he worked (barely) a pt job. While I don't blame finances on the ruination of our marriage, it definitely didn't lend itself to a healthy relationship.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We are doing really well, not quite great, but really well. We both worked very hard to get here as neither of us comes from well-to-do familes. I attribute this to living under our means.

ETA: I am very thankful for this and do make sacrifices everyday for this. It's not easy by any means.

Message edited 9/21/2007 3:58:35 PM.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We're doing ok. We struggle & then we're fine.

We've cut back on expenses because we're trying to fix up the house & everything seems to cost $5K+ to do it. We need to cut back more & tend to waste a lot on entertainment.

Neither of us work 2nd jobs. Daycare expenses are going down as they get older. We're ok.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

I feel like we're in a good place financially - I guess "not doing too badly" since we're certainly not rolling in $$.

We pay the bills, we have no CC debt (we do have student loans, a mortgage and a car payment ), and we don't live paycheck to paycheck. We're saving money but not as much as we probably should be. Though we'll save a lot more now that our weekly sushi dinners will be cut back

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

we do ok. however, we just bought a house so we are laying out a lot of money. the baby is not here yet so I know that will be a huge adjustment financially.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Posted by -Lisa-

I feel like we're in a good place financially - I guess "not doing too badly" since we're certainly not rolling in $$.

We pay the bills, we have no CC debt (we do have student loans, a mortgage and a car payment ), and we don't live paycheck to paycheck. We're saving money but not as much as we probably should be. Though we'll save a lot more now that our weekly sushi dinners will be cut back

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

I think I do okay with all things considered.

If someone is seriously drowning in debt and has no way to get out, I would recommend filing bankruptcy and starting over.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

we do OK. I went freelance last year, which is scary as hell, but has paid off well this year with the new house and mortgage. DH's union work is sporadic and stressful.. we both have jobs that are project to project, so it can be a tightrope walk when we don't know what is going on next.

we have paid down our debt considerably and have many places to cut if we had to. I had a tough early childhood with my mom and food, gas, and clothing were not givens. I have irrational fears about that now...

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Thanks for sharing ladies....

The things that give me hope is that after less than a year, DH got a raise, and they like him there, so there is a lot of room for upward mobility

also, although right now where I am I dont see too much room for advancement, with enough experience, my credentials will take me to a better place

There is a lot of room to grow and I do see a light at the end of the tunnel

Also, the reason we are struggling at this point is because of our little surprise... but, he is in daycare full time. He is fed. He is happy. He is clothed. And that is what matters the most.

Everything happens for a reason, and whenever things seem to go south, there is always a blessing that happens to us that saves us. So I never lose faith and hope....

I know I get a little antsy because I'm almost 34, and I would like to have another child someday as well.... But, the truth is, we werent financially ready for Cailen, and so far we are surviving....

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We do pretty well. That's not to say we didn't go through hell and back again. In fact, I honestly don't know how we made our mortgage payments in the first year - I was still in law school with NO income - all debt - and DH's business wasn't doing so well - he was bringing home maybe $30-35k. I'm not quite sure how we did it

But, now, I have a very stable job, with good hours, and DH's business took off, and he took a side job with the firm he shares space with (he's their tech guy) - it's crap and he hates it, but they offered him a VERY good salary for part-time work, and pay for all of his benefits, including a 401k.

We also live WAY below our means. We certainly could afford a much bigger house, but I prefer to live without that kind of stress. Our home is gorgeous, and just the size we need, so I don't see the point. We bought it WAY below market value, too, because aesthetically, it was trapped in the 1950's, and it was an estate sale. We did 90% of the renovations ourselves, saving a HUUUUGE bundle of money.

We only have cell phones, not a landline - we have basic cable because we really don't enjoy watching TV all that much. I buy most of Alex and my clothes on sale. We buy a lot of our stuff at Costco in bulk. We joined a farm co-op to ensure that we're getting good, fresh, organic produce, but at significantly less cost as opposed to buying it at a store, like Whole Foods.

We rarely spend on luxuries - we just aren't big spenders. Both our cars, we purchased used. We also put the cars on 0% interest cards to avoid paying any interest. It was tough making those monthly payments towards the credit cards but in the end it was worth it.

We also make a concerted effort to save money. Anytime we see money accumulating in our Savings, rather than just keep it there, and spend it, we immediately withdraw it and put it into a CD or invest in my DH's fund.

It's all the little things... that, and the fact that we live in the 'burbs of Philly. The cost of living is significantly cheaper.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

well it really all depends-u say you have jobs, but are they well paying jobs? thats a big part!

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We are doing OK. Up until my 9th month of pregnancy, I worked a Full Time Job and a Part time Job.
We banked the Full time checks and groceriies, going to dinner, etc. was paid for by my PT job.
We worked hard to get where we are.
I thought I'd go back to work FT, but, daycare costs are crazy and since that was my field, it made no sense at all to go back. I would just be handing my boss my paycheck to pay for the daycare.

I am a PT SAHM and I also am working PT a few days a week. It's a great job, just have to hope there is always an email waiting. I go on about 3 or 4 assignments a week and I love it.

We still have to be careful. I am a huge coupon cutter. Even when I go to dinner with my friends, I usually whip out a coupon..LOL

I am actually in the process of applying to stores just to bring in another paycheck (I'll work like 6PM-9PM or 10PM). I will definiltey miss putting DS to bed, but, the extra $$ will come in handy.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Most people would say we do pretty well but unlike most Americans I wouldn't say I'm completely relaxed about it.

My upbringing greatly influenced my views on finances. My Dad was a single parent with a union job. He was on strike twice for a year each time when I was growing up. He sold Newsday subscriptions door to door to kids in the Hofstra University dorms while on strike, just to keep me in college. He would wear his one suit and get doors slammed in his face by spoiled 18 year olds. He had an average salary as a phone company employee, owned his own home, had my brother in Catholic school and me in prinvate college. I have no idea how he did it but he did it. Those two years of my life FOREVER changed how I view money. I'm less conservative than I used to be, but I swear I was the only young person you would meet that worked three jobs in the summer and sock that money away because $$$$=security to me. My Dad never made me feel scared but I did. At my college they would periodically call attendance and I would worry if four asteriks appeared next to my name, as it means your bill was not paid. Never once did this EVER happen to me but it did to other kids whose parents were considered more "well-off". I have always been unlike most Americans in that I save. If I win Lotto tomorrow, I don't know if I'll ever be completely comfortable increasing my spending drastically.

I'm more like those elderly relatives you have who lived through the Depression but not quite as bad.

I HATE debt. I can't sleep at night knowing I have it. Mortgage only.

I paid off my college loans in 2 1/2 years vs. 10. Saved thousands on interest.

I never once, financed anything on a cc. Can't do it... again, would not be able to sleep. If I don't have the money in the bank... it's not bought.

DH and I live way below our means.

I only shop sales. In the last year, I bought two pairs of capri pants and two maternity tops... that's it. And I hate the mall... that helps

We do not NEED an expensive vacation every year.

We make car payments to ourselves and after X amount of years pay cash for our cars. I started doing this years ago. We do not buy luxury cars even though we could afford them but I would hate to have those huge car payments every month.

If we need work done on the house, we negotiate for the best cash price.

We do not have any expensive hobbies.

Especially now with the kids, we rarely go out to eat. I'd rather cook at home anyway.

DH bought his first house in 98. The profit from that house was rolled into this house, making our mortage payment much lower. We are paying our mortgage in 15 years vs. 30 and saving tens of thousands of dollars in interest. The house will be paid for before the kids are in college.

All of that being said, twins are expensive. Daycare will cost us at least $20,000 to 27,000 a year when they go. Luckily, I make a better than average salary or it wouldn't pay. I will return to work because my benefits are better and I am 11 years vested towards my pension.

Living below our means for many years and not buying "impulse purchases" or being a victim of the "latte factor" is the reason why we are in the position we are in today.

Have people criticized me for how I live?... YES... has to be jealousy as any comments I've heard from people are those with massive amounts of debt and no assets.

Things I would like to change...

DH works for a small company, his health insurance is awful and there is no matching 401K for him or me... if we had that, over the long haul, it would make a BIG difference.

Message edited 9/21/2007 7:27:11 PM.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

This is why we decided it was best for me to go back to work. We were making ends meet with Chris' job and my unemployment, but they were JUST meeting. Chris got a second job, but it was kicking his butt. AND between the two jobs he was still making less than I am going to make at my new job.

Now, I am very anal about what comes first in our house: 1. Christopher; 2. Maggie (yes, the dog ) and 3. Chris and Kate. Christopher will NEVER run out of diapers or formula b/c I am psycho path about buying things when I see them on sale, or have a coupon or a check. And Maggie's needs will be met as well. I had to pay $78 in medicine for her yesterday, yeah, they stinks, but she needs it, so what if Dh and I can't go out to dinner as a celebration that I got a new job, we can do that in a couple of weeks. My husband took a job at an auto parts store for the discount b/c he wanted to be able to buy things to work on his project car. So, we do OK.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

I'd say we're doing well. We don't live paycheck to paycheck, so I guess that's a good thing. I'm sure it will be tighter when we buy a house, but we'll still live just fine.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We took a big hit by having me stay at home. We set ourselves up for it though, I banked my pay for about 5 years before hand.

We moved to NC, Leo is in the same field but he use to run privately owned restaurants in the city, now he switched to chain and has to work his way up through the ranks.

We have savings, we have 1 low car payment...its a big adjustment though to the life we use to live.

I guess its a good lesson and I should always live like this(sales, coupons, only purchasing what we need, practical vehicles). We are waiting for his next promotion, its the one we have been waiting for.

I get pretty homesick. I miss my family tons(at the moment they are all at my younger brother's football game and I am spending another night alone). I know we would not be able to swing it one salary in Staten Island. So unless I am ready to get on that express bus again and leave the baby at home, NC it is.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

we definitely struggle, we pretty much live paycheck by paycheck but I only work part time and that means sacrificing certain things so that I can go to school full time and get a degree already.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post