Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Posted by Summerrluvv

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by photoshopbabe

well it really all depends-u say you have jobs, but are they well paying jobs? thats a big part!

Not bad - but dont forget...we have child support to pay too!!!

and being on the flip side of that, I know it can be a huge chunk of money.

I hope things get better for you

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Just curious, for those who've had to really cut corners and eliminate just about every luxury, is there a light at the end of the tunnel for you guys? (e.g. getting a degree, waiting for a promotion, moving oos, etc...) or is this pretty much how you plan on living long term? (don't mean for it to sound insulting or anything just wondering)

To answer the original question right now DH and I have zero debt but we also don't own a home and currently live with my mom. Obviously not the ideal living situation but we're very greatful for it for now. DH and I like to eat out occasionally and we also like to take vacations (nothing extravagant) we also like to purchase nice things but we certainly aren't impulsive shoppers. Our goal is to save up enough for a really good down payment on a house somewhere OOS (because honestly we'll never make it in L.I.) where we could live "comfortably" and be able to maintain a lifestyle that makes us happy. Yes we'll have to leave our family behind but it's something we're willing to sacrifice.

Message edited 9/21/2007 9:26:03 PM.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We do fine in the $ department. We aren't huge spenders but if I see something and want it, I don't deprive myself. I do look for sales and cut corners here and there. Our outstanding loans right now are mortgage, 2 car loans and a small home improvement loan. DH and I both contribute to 401/403b plans and DD 529 plan.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

I read a great article the other day called The Luxury of Enough. It was by an architect who lives in a modest home. She was saying that we have lost sight of the basic pleasures in life as we strive to have these luxurious, gadget/toy/new car/stuff filled lives.

DH and I do well and we are buying our first house. We had a number that we would absolutely NOT go over - no matter what the mortgage company said we could afford. We live within our means and save money.

In grad school I never had much money at all - but I traveled more than any of my friends who had good jobs. I'd rather spend $200 on round trip airfare to London (in January) than have expensive dinners or buy tons of clothes. I've never been about having a lot of things - I just wanted to fill my life with great experiences. You dont need to spend a lot of money to have lots of great, lasting adventures.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We do ok. We save richly, and live poorly. I gave up a really decent salary to be a SAHM, which is a big sacrifice. DH works at his own business, and a lot is dependant on commission, so there are some really good months and some not so good months. Overall he makes enough to support us with a few nice perks thrown in.

We have no debt, no car payments, no school loans. We have a mortgage, but its not crazy. We put money automatically into our kids 529 each month. We don't do anything major in terms of renovations until we have the money to pay for it in full in cash. Which means there are still a lot of things to do here that will have to wait just a little while longer.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We do ok with me working FT. We have a pretty large mortgage payment, lease 2 cars, FT daycare, but no CC debt, no loans, we max out our 401k's and put some $$ into a 529 and a small amount into our savings.

If I didn't work we wouldn't be able to pay the bills. I make a very nice salary, which makes it hard to go PT. If I go PT we would live paycheck to paycheck.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

we live very comfortably.. but we both work full time. So far, we have not had to give up luxuries and we pretty much shop when we want for most of what we want. our children are very involved with activities and somehow we are able to do that AND support my DH's very expensive hobby of motorcycle racing. We travel at least once a year but we also have a timeshare which helps..

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We do okay.

We've often said we should probably be in a better position than we are based on our salaries.

But we also agree that life is short so there are times when we splurge and then have to readjust certain things after.

When we look back on those splurges we have yet to regret them.

Now that we have DS, things are a little different and I don't think we'll be as quick to splurge when we think about money that could go to college savings, etc.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We are very comfortable. We could afford a bigger house and fancier cars, but we don't need them.

DH has a great job and makes a nice salary.

I invested in real estate and made a nice profit, which all went into savings and investments.

I have my own business which requires little work yet makes plenty of $$, as well as being an excellent write-off tax-wise.

We travel well and do not deprive ourselves of anything. At the same time, we are not shop- or spend-aholics. We both have savings, and put some away every month for DD in a 529.

We don't lease our cars - we bought them and they are paid for. Neither of us carries ANY cc debt. All expenses are paid up-front (no home-equity loans or the like - if we can't afford it, we won't do it).

We only have a mortgage, that's our only "debt".

Keep in mind- the best investment you can make for your child is not to be a burden for them when you get old. While it is good to save $$ for their college education, be sure to save enough for your own retirement so you won't need their help.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Message edited 11/24/2007 4:35:14 PM.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We do ok...or a little less then ok. Although we dont want for much we dont own a house and its a dream that on our salaries we cannot accommodate in NY.

Actually I am now a SAHM and we will work out the tight budget to allow for that.

Its the way we are happy.

To me the bottom line is being happy.

I do try to plan for the future..Such as retirement and Noahs college education...BUT I do not feel that savings should drive us.

I may be different then others but I believe a lot in living in the now and Its just how I believe and it works for me.


I read some of the posts about people living so frugally and I wonder, well what do you do with all your "savings then?

I cannot understand not going on a vacation NOW to save the money.....Save it for what? If its to live on in retirement age, understandable....But in my mind a nice vacation Now...IF you can afford it provides a lot of wonderful memories.


I would rather LIVE my life now and fully live and have a modest Retirement then have all this money then and not be able to enjoy it.

Not sure if that makes sense?

I really meant to say finance wise, I dont think theres a right way or a wrong way and I see some judgements being made.

Just cause I dont understand the way other people live, I dont say its not right. Its just not right for ME.

That said, we live in the so-so realm and its OK with us for the most part.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Posted by mommy2bella

Posted by lipglossjunky73

If I win Lotto tomorrow, I don't know if I'll ever be completely comfortable increasing my spending drastically.

I agree with this. I actually read an article about this - that many people who won the lottery wind up back in poverty (if they were poor to begin with) because they just dont know how to save money, which is why they were poor in the 1st place... or they were poor for so long, they splurge on big things, and wind up back where they started from.....

I honestly dont want this to be seen as whiny. I am a strong woman and have survived many awful situations. I see this as a growing experience and a learning experience, and believe completely that one day we will get out of this.

I just know that more people live this way than we are aware of. If you look at me, you would never think that I am going thru all this. That makes me feel that there are more people like me out there....

In the poll, only 3 people anonymously poll that have this type of dire situation...maybe it's child support that is truly putting you in the red...I know that our crazy mortgage and FT daycare really straps us...but careful planning(well,, not Bella )
and risk-taking in the career dept have helped a bit...I worry every second though, and you know I believe we are all months from flipping to the opposite side, but when we worry about food and basics, drastic measures need to be taken.

Message edited 9/22/2007 7:03:03 AM.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

I say we do alright- We don't have an absorbent amount of $$$ laying around, but we have a pretty decent chunk put away in savings, we make our bills each month, all the while going on vacations, doing ent. type things on the weekends (I prob could save alot of $$$ if we cut back on that)

Of course there are months that are tighter than others, but I feel that is to be expected from time to time with everyone...

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

I have to say that we are in a great place financially. We recently sold our home in Queens and moved to Western CT. We moved one hour away from our family to buy our home for cash. We are 30 years old with no mortgage or CC debt. It feels great to be in this situation. I hope this doesn't come off as bragging but this is what worked for us. We made a decision not to move to LI to afford our bills and for me to continue to be a SAHM. MY DH has a great job with excellent benefits. He was able to transfer to CT/Westchester but if not he was planning on commuting to LI/Queens post move. I continue to work as a consultant about once or twice a month which is put towards extras such as eating out or vacation funds.

When living in Queens, we had CC debt. Looking back, I can't understand why we had CC debt considering we had a small mortgage and one car payment. We sold our home for a great price but the downside was moving away from family with a 2.5 year old and two week old. We looked for about a year for a home on LI but could not find the size we wanted without 15K taxes.

We have a chunk of money in savings that we don't plan on touching. We are in the process of investing it. We try to live modestly. Our new home needs furniture but we are doing it slowly to avoid drying up the savings. We try to only buy things after we received our interest for the month.

DH works for a car company so we drive expensive cars. But my DH's car is free since it is his company vehicle. I get my car for a drastically reduced price with insurance.

In the end, I still use coupons and bargain shop. I love to shop but will only buy things on sale.

Thanks for letting share my story. Hugs to those with tough financial times because I have been there too.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

We are doing pretty well.....we both have 401K's, pensions, IRA's and another savings for retirement. We have a joint savings with a pretty nice chunk of $$ to put as a downpayment when we buy a . We pay the mortgage on our co-op no sweat, another great investment for us when we sell and buy a house.

We have a 529 account for our daughter with a good amount of $$ in....no car payments, both owned outright, no CC bills, no loans. We go on a nice vacation every year, buy what we want and still bank a good amount of $$.

Re: Spinoff to financial advice post

Thanks for sharing ladies!

Wowc - kudos to many of you - it is no small feat to live well on LI!

And for the 6 of you who don't know how they make it from day to day I'm so sorry you are going thru this. That has got to be awful with children involved

please fm me if theres anything I could ever do to help you - I know Cailen grows out of diapers and clothing on a regular basis!!!!