Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

LOVE our in-home sitter, Nicole...she's spectacular, wonderful, smart, etc..

the background: she has a son (she has 2 kids, but her son is the 'issue' to me)... he's 3 and going to start pre-school in the fall.

my issue - when i am there, he treats Emma 'poorly'. she crawls to a toy, he goes over to it and plays with it, saying no emma, or mine and when she moves onto the next toy, it's the same thing... he even tends to grab things RIGHT out of her hands...

nicole ALWAYS yells at him for it, yells, puts him in time out, etc., in SOME WAY shows that it's WRONG and not okay..

my concern - when she's older, i can tell Emma, this is the way he acts in his home, not how you act, etc... but NOW - when she's a sponge and soaking up EVERYTHING...how do i treat this?

nicole swears when i'm not there, he's not mean to her, she says she thinks it's because he wants my attention (when i pick em up, he often asks if i HAVE to go, can i stay, etc..)...but what do i do here?? i worry about em picking up these habits, she ALREADY screeches/screams to match the sound he makes when he gets put into time out...so i worry about what's next...

eta: he ALWAYS asks me to play Wii games with him, after work. I have even gone as far as to say - if you are nice to emma for a whole week, we can play.... she's been there a year in September & we've played Wii together ONCE.

Message edited 7/21/2010 1:04:41 PM.

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

Well, you most likely will encounter this situation ANYWHERE you go and where there are other kids. Daycare center included.

Unless you pick someone who has no other kids but then you have no social interaction with other kids.

Aside the fact that that's her son, you could have a nanny with a sweet kid only to find that she will no longer have him/her and get another kid who would behave just like her kid

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

Honestly, I think this behavior is "par for the course". MY DD is 3 and my DS is about to turn 1 - DD acts like this with every toy DS grabs etc. I always scold her, tell her to share etc. (just like your sitter does). The fact is it is COMPLETELY age appropriate behavior and one day EMMA, whether or not she learns it from this boy and despite the fact the you will likely try to teach her not to do this, will act in the exact same way. I have YET to meet a child who does not do this.

Bottom line - unless he is hurting her or the mom is not reprimanding his behavior then I really would not worry about it.

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

Promise him a pony!!


Just Kidding!!!

That is a tough situation. I would hopefully think the sitter is taking actions when he does do this to Em!! You do trust her.

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

If his mom is taking care of it properly, there is not much else you can do. My nephew is the exact same way with my DD...my dd is young so she doesn't really care yet that he takes things from her...we try to emphasize sharing...we'll see when dd is older if she "fights" back...then I will deal with her.

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

I don't think you can do anything to teach him how to behave, he sounds like a normal 3 year old and it sounds like his mother is doing her best.

Re: Spinoff To In Home Daycare Thread...sticky situation...

That's really how 3 year olds are... he's not badly behaved or anything, and it sounds like the mom is working on it. If Emma was his little sister, he'd be doing the same thing.

I think if you have a childcare situation with other kids (especially slightly older ones than your DC), you have to expect this dynamic.