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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
I give a gift based on my relationship to the person, and the event itself (birthday, communion, wedding etc) I never take into consideration where it is, how formal or informal, what I had to spend to get there (destination wedding, hotel for out of town etc) if I needed to buy a gown (black tie) etc - None of that ever matters. I'd give $500 to my cousin getting married in the bakcyard the same way I'd give to him getting married at a NYC hotel the same way I'd give if I flew to Mexico for the wedding .........
For a Sweet 16, I'd probably give $150 - $200
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Posted 6/10/15 3:40 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by MarisaK
I give a gift based on my relationship to the person, and the event itself (birthday, communion, wedding etc) I never take into consideration where it is, how formal or informal, what I had to spend to get there (destination wedding, hotel for out of town etc) if I needed to buy a gown (black tie) etc - None of that ever matters. I'd give $500 to my cousin getting married in the bakcyard the same way I'd give to him getting married at a NYC hotel the same way I'd give if I flew to Mexico for the wedding .........
For a Sweet 16, I'd probably give $150 - $200
This exactly
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| Posted 6/10/15 3:43 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by MarisaK
I give a gift based on my relationship to the person, and the event itself (birthday, communion, wedding etc) I never take into consideration where it is, how formal or informal, what I had to spend to get there (destination wedding, hotel for out of town etc) if I needed to buy a gown (black tie) etc - None of that ever matters. I'd give $500 to my cousin getting married in the bakcyard the same way I'd give to him getting married at a NYC hotel the same way I'd give if I flew to Mexico for the wedding .........
For a Sweet 16, I'd probably give $150 - $200
This is how operate as well
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| Posted 6/10/15 3:44 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7273 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
I consider myself a generous person but I would never give $500 for a sweet 16, even if it was at Oheka!
I think $200 is generous for a close family friend. Even if you play into the "cover your plate" mentality, that doesn't really apply unless the kid is bankrolling their own party, which I'm going to guess is a no.
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| Posted 6/10/15 5:16 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
I would give whatever I would give that child for their 16th even if I they weren't having a party.
If they have a brother- is it fair to give $300 the sister who is having a party if you would only give $100 the brother? The money isn't going to cover the cost of the party--that is a gift from the parents. The money is going to the child.
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| Posted 6/10/15 5:47 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
We have a twin's sweet 16 in a few months to go to and we can only afford $50/per kid. They chose to have it in a catering hall which is great for them but the money is for the girls, NOT the parents who paid for it.
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| Posted 6/10/15 6:56 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by nferrandi
I just recently attended the sweet 16 of one of my students. I gave her the $200 Tiffany heart necklace.
I need to invite you to my parties as you seem to spend a lot of money lol.
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| Posted 6/10/15 6:57 PM |
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sunnyplus3
:)
Member since 11/05 8749 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
We had a pretty over the top sweet 16 for my stepdaughter 5 years ago( I have pics in my album)
Honestly I would have been mortified if anyone we invited(even a large family) felt obligated to give her $500.
I chose to have a big party at my own expense, not at the expense of my guests!
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| Posted 6/10/15 8:49 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by nferrandi
I just recently attended the sweet 16 of one of my students. I gave her the $200 Tiffany heart necklace.
I need to invite you to my parties as you seem to spend a lot of money lol.
Seriously!
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| Posted 6/10/15 8:56 PM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Message edited 6/11/2015 10:04:45 AM.
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| Posted 6/11/15 10:03 AM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by sunnyplus3
We had a pretty over the top sweet 16 for my stepdaughter 5 years ago( I have pics in my album)
Honestly I would have been mortified if anyone we invited(even a large family) felt obligated to give her $500.
I chose to have a big party at my own expense, not at the expense of my guests!
Agree that the people hosting the party choose the location and how much to spend. But they (not you, a general they) have been convinced by those around them that the guests should be giving enough to "cover the plate". And no one should ever have that sort of mentality.
When I turned 16 I had people give me small gifts. I had one uncle who gave me 16 $1 bills. When I got married 5 years ago, I had people say to me that they could not come because they could not afford a gift. I told them that I invited them not their checkbook. I had people who gave nothing and I had people who were extremely generous. But the reception that I had was my choice. And there were a lot of things I wanted that I passed over because of the expense and to me it was not really worth it.
I think the whole party thing has gotten out of control. Parties at a hall for a 1st birthday party. Crazy. What happened to celebrating at home? Spending crazy money on party favors, extravagant cakes and over the top decorations. It's all too much. And the kids see it and they expect that they will have it. And the cycle continues on. Not even to mention the I have to do better than the last party I went to mentality that some people have.
Sorry I rambled. This is an issue that I get on a  about.
Message edited 6/11/2015 10:04:22 AM.
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| Posted 6/11/15 10:04 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by Eireann
No, I would give the same amount regardless of the venue (as I would for a wedding).
The parents aren't supposed to be pocketing the money to help foot the bill...the kid is supposed to get it.
This
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| Posted 6/11/15 10:21 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by ISpoilHim
Posted by sunnyplus3
We had a pretty over the top sweet 16 for my stepdaughter 5 years ago( I have pics in my album)
Honestly I would have been mortified if anyone we invited(even a large family) felt obligated to give her $500.
I chose to have a big party at my own expense, not at the expense of my guests!
Agree that the people hosting the party choose the location and how much to spend. But they (not you, a general they) have been convinced by those around them that the guests should be giving enough to "cover the plate". And no one should ever have that sort of mentality.
When I turned 16 I had people give me small gifts. I had one uncle who gave me 16 $1 bills. When I got married 5 years ago, I had people say to me that they could not come because they could not afford a gift. I told them that I invited them not their checkbook. I had people who gave nothing and I had people who were extremely generous. But the reception that I had was my choice. And there were a lot of things I wanted that I passed over because of the expense and to me it was not really worth it.
I think the whole party thing has gotten out of control. Parties at a hall for a 1st birthday party. Crazy. What happened to celebrating at home? Spending crazy money on party favors, extravagant cakes and over the top decorations. It's all too much. And the kids see it and they expect that they will have it. And the cycle continues on. Not even to mention the I have to do better than the last party I went to mentality that some people have.
Sorry I rambled. This is an issue that I get on a about.
My twins first birthday was in a hall. We wanted a big celebration for all our family and friends. We paid for it ourselves and had zero expectations for gifts and didn't care what if any we received
The next year we did a smaller birthday and nobody expected a big party not did I feel I had to out do the first birthday
Everyone spends money differently. Some buy a 500 New bag or shoes. Some it's craft supplies. Some it's lessons for their kid. Same for celebration. The party at home is no better than the party in the hall. Or viice versa. It's all about preference.
But assuming the ones who had it in a hall are "crazy" or trying to impress or anything like that is not fair. Sometimes we just like a party lol
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| Posted 6/11/15 10:32 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
I gave my niece $100 for her sweet 16. It was a big party (at night).
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| Posted 6/11/15 10:50 AM |
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
I wouldn't give the same as I do for a wedding.
I haven't been to a sweet 16 since I was around that age though, and I have no idea what I gave as a gift.
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| Posted 6/11/15 11:07 AM |
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sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by ISpoilHim
Posted by sunnyplus3
We had a pretty over the top sweet 16 for my stepdaughter 5 years ago( I have pics in my album)
Honestly I would have been mortified if anyone we invited(even a large family) felt obligated to give her $500.
I chose to have a big party at my own expense, not at the expense of my guests!
Agree that the people hosting the party choose the location and how much to spend. But they (not you, a general they) have been convinced by those around them that the guests should be giving enough to "cover the plate". And no one should ever have that sort of mentality.
When I turned 16 I had people give me small gifts. I had one uncle who gave me 16 $1 bills. When I got married 5 years ago, I had people say to me that they could not come because they could not afford a gift. I told them that I invited them not their checkbook. I had people who gave nothing and I had people who were extremely generous. But the reception that I had was my choice. And there were a lot of things I wanted that I passed over because of the expense and to me it was not really worth it.
I think the whole party thing has gotten out of control. Parties at a hall for a 1st birthday party. Crazy. What happened to celebrating at home? Spending crazy money on party favors, extravagant cakes and over the top decorations. It's all too much. And the kids see it and they expect that they will have it. And the cycle continues on. Not even to mention the I have to do better than the last party I went to mentality that some people have.
Sorry I rambled. This is an issue that I get on a about.
Quite frankly, I know no one on Long Island or in New York who pays to go to a party or large event unless it is a charity fundraiser, in which case we buy tickets. Cash "gifts" at an event to me are forms of payment. Wedding gifts traditionally have been objects that will last throughout a marriage, which is why they are often china, crystal or silver. Not money so people can throw a onetime bash for themselves.
Cultural norms differ, but I think the one that seems to be taking hold in certain parts of Long Island - but not all, at least as I read about it on here, is an odd one. People seem to want to have large parties or weddings, but can't afford to pay for them so that their friends and relatives are truly their guests in the real sense of the word, therefore have resorted to organizing them in such away that "guests", who aren't really guests as the word is defined, must to pay their share to attend. It's very commercial.
How would someone unaware of this not wide-spread custom know that a large payment is expected, if they accept a wedding invitation? I certainly wouldn't. At least, charity fundraisers are very open about what is expected. They openly list a price and enclose an envelope for payment.
Message edited 6/11/2015 12:34:42 PM.
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| Posted 6/11/15 12:23 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by ISpoilHim
Posted by sunnyplus3
We had a pretty over the top sweet 16 for my stepdaughter 5 years ago( I have pics in my album)
Honestly I would have been mortified if anyone we invited(even a large family) felt obligated to give her $500.
I chose to have a big party at my own expense, not at the expense of my guests!
Agree that the people hosting the party choose the location and how much to spend. But they (not you, a general they) have been convinced by those around them that the guests should be giving enough to "cover the plate". And no one should ever have that sort of mentality.
When I turned 16 I had people give me small gifts. I had one uncle who gave me 16 $1 bills. When I got married 5 years ago, I had people say to me that they could not come because they could not afford a gift. I told them that I invited them not their checkbook. I had people who gave nothing and I had people who were extremely generous. But the reception that I had was my choice. And there were a lot of things I wanted that I passed over because of the expense and to me it was not really worth it.
I think the whole party thing has gotten out of control. Parties at a hall for a 1st birthday party. Crazy. What happened to celebrating at home? Spending crazy money on party favors, extravagant cakes and over the top decorations. It's all too much. And the kids see it and they expect that they will have it. And the cycle continues on. Not even to mention the I have to do better than the last party I went to mentality that some people have.
Sorry I rambled. This is an issue that I get on a about.
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| Posted 6/11/15 1:08 PM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Spinoff to wedding gift amount - how about a Sweet 16 that is like a wedding?
Posted by gina409
Posted by ISpoilHim
Posted by sunnyplus3
We had a pretty over the top sweet 16 for my stepdaughter 5 years ago( I have pics in my album)
Honestly I would have been mortified if anyone we invited(even a large family) felt obligated to give her $500.
I chose to have a big party at my own expense, not at the expense of my guests!
Agree that the people hosting the party choose the location and how much to spend. But they (not you, a general they) have been convinced by those around them that the guests should be giving enough to "cover the plate". And no one should ever have that sort of mentality.
When I turned 16 I had people give me small gifts. I had one uncle who gave me 16 $1 bills. When I got married 5 years ago, I had people say to me that they could not come because they could not afford a gift. I told them that I invited them not their checkbook. I had people who gave nothing and I had people who were extremely generous. But the reception that I had was my choice. And there were a lot of things I wanted that I passed over because of the expense and to me it was not really worth it.
I think the whole party thing has gotten out of control. Parties at a hall for a 1st birthday party. Crazy. What happened to celebrating at home? Spending crazy money on party favors, extravagant cakes and over the top decorations. It's all too much. And the kids see it and they expect that they will have it. And the cycle continues on. Not even to mention the I have to do better than the last party I went to mentality that some people have.
Sorry I rambled. This is an issue that I get on a about.
My twins first birthday was in a hall. We wanted a big celebration for all our family and friends. We paid for it ourselves and had zero expectations for gifts and didn't care what if any we received
The next year we did a smaller birthday and nobody expected a big party not did I feel I had to out do the first birthday
Everyone spends money differently. Some buy a 500 New bag or shoes. Some it's craft supplies. Some it's lessons for their kid. Same for celebration. The party at home is no better than the party in the hall. Or viice versa. It's all about preference.
But assuming the ones who had it in a hall are "crazy" or trying to impress or anything like that is not fair. Sometimes we just like a party lol
I love a party. When I'm referring to the "crazy" aspect of parties I am referring to the big over the top parties when people do in fact expect extravagant gifts and lose sight of the original purpose of the party. That is what I think too many people do these days.
I have large parties for my son's birthday, but they are done at home, with about 75 people invited. I do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. I LOVE to entertain and I LOVE to do it at home. It's what I live for.
If you read my spin off post about wedding thank you's that involved family members who did not send thank yous for people who did not send a gift. That to me is someone who has a party for the sole reason of getting a gift, not celebrating the occassion. That is what I mean as "crazy"
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| Posted 6/11/15 1:24 PM |
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