spinoff to your child's gift money

Would you use money the child got as a gift to fund the party? I ask because I know that my DH's parents opened envelopes at their (DH and his twin brother) Confirmation and used almost all of it to pay for the party. I think my DH said they were each given $50.
I know for me, I would never do something like that. If I couldn't afford to have the party I simply wouldn't have it or I would scale it down to something that was affordable. DH says he wouldn't do that to our sons, but he also doesn't see what the big deal is that his parents needed to do that.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I could never.

If we couldn't afford to have a party, we wouldn't.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

No. I couldn't do that. If I was throwing a party for my child, I wouldn't expect him to pay for it.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I could see that. If they opened the envelopes to pay for the party, they might not have had that much cash on-hand. Later, they can transfer the money into DC's account.

I could easily see myself doing that. DC doesn't need cash, but I do. I'll just move money around electronically later on.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Nope. If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't be throwing that party. Just like with a wedding.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I don't think we would do that, but I'll never say never.

My parents had to use my communion money to pay bills and for groceries. My mom was upset about it, but I survived.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I would never do that...

However, with that said. I know my parents HAD to do this for my Bat Mitzvah.

And I say HAD to because they were PISS poor back then, but wanted me to have a party. It was definately NOT one of those Super Sweet 16 style Bat Mitzvahs. It wasn't at a hall. It was in the rec hall at our local temple (definately nothing fancy, looked more like a high school gym).

No fancy decorations....no favors, no fancy place settings, no DJ, just basic, basic, basic, food and a cake. No fancy dress, a family member made my dress.

It never bothered me one bit. I know my parents felt bad and tried to make up for that once they were in a good place financially (not that I would have expected them to "make it up to me" either.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

No. Not to pay for the party!

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

No. If we couldn't afford the party, then why have it?

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Def not!

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I wouldn't personally but I can understand it I guess.

I mean its better that they paid the party off and that way its like a free thing for everyone and the baby vs staying in debt, I guess. In a way its like they distributed that money over the next month or so or whatever by NOT being short that cash.


ETA: this is coming from the Mom who thinks all big parties for children under the age of 3 is a waste of money and more for the adults than the kids.
I'd never spend the kinda cash that I would get back in cards, etc. I also don't plan my parties based on what I'm going to 'make' I hate that idea passionately. I didn't 'make' diddly squat from my wedding but we all had a blast!

Message edited 8/5/2010 3:29:45 PM.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

No way- right into the college fund.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I couldn't do it, but I don't judge.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Nope, that is why we have small parties at home and my kids don't get tons of money.

Message edited 8/5/2010 3:50:27 PM.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

No way. If I couldn't afford the party, I would scale it back a bit. Either that or I would pay the money back at a later date.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I know a lot of ppl that do that. I have not and would not. if I can't afford it, there will be no party.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

hmmm. that is though.

I mean, what kid doesn't want a nice party. and what parent doesn't want their kid to have one???

it's a tough spot to be in. I mean, it's easy to say "I just wouldn't have a party" but when you see how much your child wants one or how disappointed they are, it's kind of hard not to.

I am very grateful that at this stage of the game we are no where near that place, but I am not sure how I would balance things if we were. my son's disappoint vs. not saving the money.

at the end of the day, the money IS being used for the child's enjoyment.

tough. tough spot.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Absolutely not.

I have very strong feelings about using a child's money for anything. The thought of using it for something essential bothers me enough, but a party is not essential and IMO should not ever happen.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Posted by Ophelia


at the end of the day, the money IS being used for the child's enjoyment.

tough. tough spot.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

No. In fact, my mom has given ME money specifically for party costs and I even put that in to DS' account. I am throwing him the party and I will only spend what I can afford.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I would never do that! I know someone who did this for their child's baptism. IMO why have a party at a restaurant if you can't afford it?

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I don't think I would do this for a younger dc but say we couldn't afford a sweet 16 and my dd really wanted one, I would probably discuss with her and let her decide if she would be comfortable using her gift money towards the party. If there was no party there would be no money anyway.

I would never say have a christening at a restaurant if I couldn't afford and use gift money towards the party.

Hopefully we will never be in this situation :)

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't judge someone who did either. As someone who grew up very poor and never received any of my gifts because the money was needed elsewhere (not necessarily for parties but it was def spent), I get it and it doesn't offend my moral compass - you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm very lucky that DH and I are fortunate enough never to have to think about this.

Re: spinoff to your child's gift money

Nope. Any party I would have for DC would be paid for in full in advance. Any $$ that he gets goes right into his account.

Why should he fund the party? Makes no sense to me to take money out of his pocket cuz of a party that I decided to have.