starting to really worry about post baby life...

DH has been out of work for the past 5ish months...I've been on maternity leave as of this past week. starting monday i go down to 60% of pay...with DH still out of work i'm really starting to bite my nails but i physically just couldn't keep working 9hr days on my feet along with the other physical requirements.

I don't really want to go back to my FT job because working 45 hrs with a BFing newborn as a new mom is going to be alot...and my management position means when people call out...i get stuck there...and as a new mommy...that cannot happen.

I have been telling DH forever that he needs to find work regardless of what it is because i'm going on maternity leave and will be at 60% pay...and now that time has come and he still has nothing besides a few odd days that he worked on somebody's home...I'm freaking out inside but every time i say something it turns into an argument and i just can't take it anymore. I'm really disappointed in DH and feel like because of his lack of a sense of urgency to find work I am super stressed about work after the baby and my maternity leave has only just begun.

I've looked on craigslist...but I can't interview now just days away from my due date! besides, it's hard to determine what I should do for work when theres so much still up in the air. if he DOES get back to work full time & i continue to work...we would need child care...and if his mom couldn't do it on certain days i'd need a backup plan. I was hoping to stay home with the baby for at least the first 3-4 months and now I feel like i should run and get back to work as soon as i pop this baby out and that just kills me inside.

after expressing all these concerns to him...he put it all back on me and said he told me to find work from home...he is now searching for jobs FOR ME online... he just doesn't ******* get it and right now i am feeling like having this baby on a deserted island far far away

Message edited 7/2/2011 11:09:49 PM.

Re: starting to really worry about post baby life...

This is a really hard situation.

On the one hand I have been unemployeed and searched for jobs but there is only so much you can really do because you need new postings and you need for people to call you back. I got really depressed when I was unemployeed, could your husband be depressed about his lack of work?

With that being said, he is not being fair to you right now. You can not be the only one providing for the family, plus taking care of a newborn. Maybe if you speak to him again saying something along the lines that you are willing to work from home and you really appreciate him helping you find something but he needs to also find something and willing to take the help you are giving him.

Also, maybe if you tell him that you are okay with him being a stay at home dad/husband but you expect some things- such as taking care of the babdy, a clean house, dinner being made, shopping finished, etc. Then you have no problem going back to work? Maybe then he will want to go back to work???

I just wanted to add that I know how you feel about going back to work. Both my husband and I are employeed but financially I have to go back to work right away. It is breaking my heart thinking about it. Its really hard.

Re: starting to really worry about post baby life...

That can be really infuriating! I hate when DH gets that laid back, worry free attitude about major things that need to be taken care of. I think they go through some kind of daddy crisis or something where they are more irresponsible then usual.
But I do love the guy & I'm sure you do too but just waned to let you know you're not alone.
As far as post baby finances, try not to worry (I know,easy to say) but you can't predict the future, you just have to keep yourself healthy now & worry about that later.
Hopefully something will come through for your husband & he will kick himself in the *** to get back out there!
Try linkedin.com, a lot of my friends have gotten jobs by connecting with former employers or friends. Hang in there!