tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

i hear that when you give birth you have a rainbow of emotions. of course you hear alot of ....it was love at first sight....etc..
but what about other feelings..good /bad/etc?
wondering what i will be feeling those days in the hospital bc right now with 2 weeks to go ...i cannot for the life of me realllllllllllllllly imagine seeing and holding my little boy. very very very surreal feeling right now.

tia!!!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I have given birth 4 times. Even with the 4th baby I stared at those little fingers, toes and tiny ears and was SO amazed that DH and I created that. and that I just gave birth. Its such an unreal feeling no matter how many times you do it. Simply amazing

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

When I had DS it was surreal. Like an out of body experience. I had a C so it may have been the meds, I don't know. I felt so... distant from him for a long time. Like, I loved him, but that was it, there was no overwhelming sense of anything at all. Then when he was about six weeks old, I finally felt it. This RUSH of emotions like nothing I had ever felt. I just kept thinking to myself, I am a MOM. This is my SON. And it was amazing from that point on.

DD was a different story - I had a VBAC, so the rush of delivering her transitioned seamlessly into a rush of joy holding her. I was also a bit more experienced so I knew what to do with her and how to hold her without feeling awkward. But I didn't really like her She was a VERY fussy baby until maybe 8 weeks, and she finally started behaving like a normal child around 4 months. I loved her from the start but we didn't get along very well at first

Whatever your feelings when your DS is born, don't stress. Your hormones will be absolutely freaking insane and you may even want to run away from home Or you may love him so fiercely that you never want to let him go. There's no good/better/best way to feel.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

As soon as dd let out her first cry I sobbed. I was so relieved to know she was ok. I felt instatnly protective of her. I had a c-sec so all I kept doing was asking dh how dd was and trying to see her out of the corner of my eye from the OR table. Once I got to see her I couldn't stop crying because I was just so overwhelmed with love, happiness. After I moved to the recoery room and was able to hold dd we had these moments where she looked right at me. I just knew she knew I was her mommy. Its a connection I cannot even explain. It really is something that words cannot describe. You are just feeling so much and for me I felt like no one else in the world even existed for the first moments I held her.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

With both my boys had an overwhelming sense of emotions but for different reasons. I had 2 sections so it was strange to not hold my baby upon delivery.

My first DS was a product of IVF & I had some issues arise with him at 32 weeks that gave us a grime outlook. I was extremely nervous when he was born bc I just wanted a healthy boy. I kept asking Dh if the baby was ok. When I heard him cry & heard the Dr tell me he scored a 10 on the apgars, I let out a huge sob & smile. I was so drugged I don't remember the nurse showing me him. My true emotions came the next morning when I held him at 6am & I was all alone. I could not believe the miracle he was & my love was instant.

My second DS was born at 32 weeks premature, so I was in shock the entire delivery & nervous bc we did not know his condition. When I heard his first cry, I was relieved but knew we had a long road ahead of us. Since he had to be rushed to the NICU, I did not see him until he was all tigers up. Imagine that as your first sught. I was so upset & mad at myself for not keeping him in for 8 more weeks. As the weeks went on, I gained a bond with him & grew to love him. Once he was released at almost a month old, i adored him.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

It's amazing, surreal. I did stare at him...I still do at 9 months. Just stare at him and think "my god, I can't believe he is a product of US! He's beautiful!"

The OTHER feelings crept in the first night in the hospital when he cried and cried when I tried to breastfeed and none of the nurses came to see if I needed assistance. I truly felt alone and unprepared. I started to think "HOLY SHIT! what did I get myself into?!? was I ready for this?!?" but once he was fed and satisfied it was right back to being in pure awe.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

The moment they put DS on my chest was the most amazing moment of my life. I was so grateful and happy to have this healthy, beautiful boy. I would say it was the best day of my life.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

When I first heard him cry, it was unreal...like haring a stranger for the first time. But his face, it was like we had met before, very familiar (he has my mouth ) That overhelming feeling of love did not come right away. It took some time to get to know each other. He sized me up for a few weeks and one day, I woke up to him smilling..no, grinning at me. He was only a few weeks old when I realized that I could'nt imagine my life without him.

The first few weeks as a first-time mommy is overwhelming. You will be hit with a lot of emotions mostly due to hormones and lack of sleep. You will need a stong support system the first few weeks. Don't be surprised if you get a few phone calls from people checking in.

Best of all you have this great forum of btdt parents who share a wealth of info.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

i've only admitted this to one person besides DH, but i had some VERY negative feelings during my c-section, right before DS came out. i spent my entire life petrified of surgery, and i was beyond horrified when my OB said i needed a section. i was crying and felt nauseous in the OR, and while it was happening i started passing out. several people know this about DS's birth story, but what they don't know, is that in those moments, i started to resent the baby. i thought that i wasn't sure how i would love the baby, after having to go through this for him. i was irrationally angry with him, and blamed him for making me face my greatest fear.

minutes later, as my eyes started to roll back into my head, i heard him cry. in an instant and i felt overwhelmed with joy. i didn't have that over-the-moon feeling right then, but i did feel overwhelmed with love and joy. once we were in our room and they brought him to me a few hours after birth, that was when my heart officially melted and i was in love.

i felt guilty about those feelings from the OR for a few days, but then i realized it's ok. i can't help that i felt that way, and it lasted only minutes and now i love him more than anything in the world and know that i would have 100 more surgeries for him or for my future child/children.

it doesn't matter if you're not feeling the way you think you're "supposed to" before, during, or after birth. what matters is that you WILL develop those feelings, and once you do, they will last for the rest of your DC's entire life.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I felt total and complete bliss. Honestly, I was awestruck, amazed, and completely in love. I just couldn't believe DH and I made a human!!!! It was so surreal. And it was so unbelievable that this little baby in my arms was the same little person who was kicking me and hiccuping in my belly for the past nine months.

I also loved being in the hospital. It was such a special time. I especially loved the quiet nights holding my daughter in my arms and just staring into her little eyes. She was magnificent, I was overwhelmed with every emotion in the book. Honestly, best few days of my life and it only keeps getting better and better.

Good luck in a few weeks and enjoy every minute. It will be the most amazing, incredible time in your life.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Tired. So, so tired. And relieved: relieved that labor was over, more relieved that she looked normal and healthy.

The happiness, the incredulousness, the excitement... for me, that all came later. I was in almost too much of a daze (from pushing for 4 hours, the medications, not having slept in 36 hours) to feel much of anything at all. But oh boy, when the love for her hit, it hit HARD. It just took a day.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Emergency C section - so a lot of fear mixed with exhaustion, and nausea. I was sooooo worried if they were going to be ok. There was no joy till the doctor said they were going to be ok. Which was not right away They were sent straight to NICU and I was not allowed to hold them till much later, baby A was a week So there was a lot of anxiety and worry. I'm not sure about instant love, but it was instant protectivness. As I was being stitched up and still scared %hitless about my babies and myself....i just remember screaming to DH... GO WITH THE BABIES. DONT LEAVE THEM ALONE. That was it, the moment they were here it was all about them.

Then I held them and I was in awe of them, still am. All the corny cliches are true, your heart DOES bursts with joy. They DO take your breath away.

Just last night I stared at my LO sleeping so peaceful and just got a rush of emotion and teared up just feeling so much, but most of all LUCKY, so very lucky to have these perfect little people who are MINE. forever.

For me, the love grew over time. It was always there, but we had to get to know each other a little before it was that RUSH everyone always talks about. And the more they are forming there own little personalities the more I like them! (and sometimes NOT! like them !!

Message edited 4/12/2012 11:42:20 PM.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I'm not an emotional or sappy person. When I first saw DS, I was so excited to meet him - it was awesome- but I can't say it was surreal or anything like that. It was almost a little weird too...I was in disbelief that "it" was a he and I was so happy he was healthy and okay.

After they took him to clean him up and do whatever they do, I couldn't wait to see him again. However, like a PP said, when they brought him back and left me by myself with him, the feelings of being incompetent, unprepared and not knowing how to do anything - I mean honestly it was pathetic...you would think as a woman I would have some maternal instinct but no, I don't, zero - so I was panicked.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I felt ....


Meh


I didn't get that whole 'ah-ha' moment stuff. I looked over and was like "um ok, wow. That was interesting" Then I was afraid "well crap.. now what do I do, I can't POSSIBLY be a good enough mom."

Honestly it took a few weeks to truly bond. I spent all my waking hours with her, bf and tried to keep her close. I talked her and felt like she was my best friend. She was mine. It was a wonderful feeling but not earth shattering seeing other dimensions crazy. Just amazed.

a few weeks later I felt like she was the most beautiful creature in all the world LOL. :) I felt something was wrong with me for not having that instant bond thing. I dont feel I 'missed' out. I just took more time to get there. I kinda appreciate it. I didn't just fall instantly in love. I fell slowly. That slow fall sure did do me in though. By then I knew her good and bad sides and I felt more tolerant. I loved her for all of it. Still do.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Honestly, it's a feeling that I never have had in my life and can't even put into words. It's a love so strong and powerful..a love that you cant describe..a love where you know you would do anything for this little person; you would die for them.

It truly is surreal.

I also felt the following:

EXHAUSTED.. That first week I must have slept a total of 7 hours!!!! Scared shitlesss! sore and in pain the first day....and then breastfeeding was difficult at first. My nipples were sore...i was worried about doing it right. anxious..worried...elated..a feeling of pure bliss and happiness...overwhelmed! So many people coming to visit.

You could feel a million and one things. Just let yourself feel it. Your hormones will also be all over the place, so you might get the baby blues or feel sad/angry.

I CRIED a lot that first week!!!!! Tears of happiness and amazement that we created this amazing, healthy baby...tears of fear and tears from exhaustion.

Good luck and try to enjoy it and soak every second in. It goes too fast!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I also think labor, especially the end during pushing and once she was here was like an out of body experience. I was so delirious from being up for over 24 hours, and so exhausted from labor and pushing. I think my first feelings were relief that it was done and the pain was over!

When they put her on my chest, it was crazy and surreal because she looked exactly like I did as a newborn.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Definitely instant love and just an overwhelming feeling of being the happiest I've ever been in my life and so amazed that I created a life! I did have other feelings while in the hospital though - I had to have a cs and I hated every second of it Developed pre-e after DD was born and had to be rushed back to labor and delivery for careful monitoring, I was on magnesium for days which kicks the you know what out of you. Couldn't get out of bed to get DD or even put her back in the basinnet when they brought her to me in the middle of the night. I hated HATED every second of being at LIJ. When I talk about DD's birth I always say she could have been born in a dumpster and I would have had a more positive experience!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

The first few days in the hospital were fine. It was love at first sight, DD was somewhat latching, and I was on pain meds (I tore really bad).

It was a whole other story when we got home. I cried uncontrollably for 2 weeks. DD wouldn't latch, I was in tons of pain (and my doctor wouldn't give me anything), and I was beyond hormonal. It was a really bad time for me. On top of your crazy hormones, you have a newborn baby, who you don't know at all yet, screaming and up all night, so you are beyond tired too.

Most of my friends also had serious ups and downs right after their births, but just know that most of the time the mood swings are completely gone after about 2 weeks.

I always tell my mom now that I am sorry for yelling at her about her menopause, because I understand the hormonal changes so much better now!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Posted by Xelindrya

I felt ....


Meh


I didn't get that whole 'ah-ha' moment stuff. I looked over and was like "um ok, wow. That was interesting" Then I was afraid "well crap.. now what do I do, I can't POSSIBLY be a good enough mom."

Honestly it took a few weeks to truly bond. I spent all my waking hours with her, bf and tried to keep her close. I talked her and felt like she was my best friend. She was mine. It was a wonderful feeling but not earth shattering seeing other dimensions crazy. Just amazed.

a few weeks later I felt like she was the most beautiful creature in all the world LOL. :) I felt something was wrong with me for not having that instant bond thing. I dont feel I 'missed' out. I just took more time to get there. I kinda appreciate it. I didn't just fall instantly in love. I fell slowly. That slow fall sure did do me in though. By then I knew her good and bad sides and I felt more tolerant. I loved her for all of it. Still do.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I know im in the minority but i didnt feel any lovey gooey emotions. When she was first born she felt like a total stranger, everything was very clinical to me(c section) and i just didnt have a connection. I loved her with all my heart but no magical moment. No ppd and she was an easy baby, and i did bf during that time. i just couldnt connect. Maybe because i had a rough pregnancy and never got to enjoy it. It truly didnt happen until she was about 3mo. I definitely feel all of those emotions now.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

There is no way to describe it. It was the most amazing, awesome, fantastic moment of my life. I felt pure love. I knew in that one second of her first cry that God loved me because he gave me this great gift. I knew that is what heaven must feel like. . .that first moment when you walk into heaven and you know that everything is perfect and everything is going to be alright, all came with that first cry.

I felt like I could float, and defeat bad guys and nurture the earth. I felt like a rock star and super woman and like a Mother.

I felt so much love that my heart physically hurt. I knew then that nothing else would ever matter as much as this love that my husband and I created. My chest could just explode from the power of it. . .

I just felt pure, awe inspiring, powerful LOVE.

Message edited 4/13/2012 7:55:29 AM.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I didn't feel instant love. Don't get me wrong, the moment she came out I was worried about her more than myself, wanted to hold her and would have been devastated if something had happened to her...but it took time to fall in love with her.

The morning after I had her, I was in my hospital room....they hadn't brought her to me yet and I yearned to hold her. I missed her and asked the nursery for them to bring her to me....but I wasn't madly in love with her some time.

I was warned ahead of time that I may not have that moment of "ahhhhh" the second she came out and they put her in my arms. I'm glad I was warned....that way I didn't think anything was wrong with me!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I did NOT fall in love at first sight.. which made me feel guilty until i realized I was NOT the only one!!!

I loved him of course.. but it took a while to fall in love with this little creature that cried constantly!!!

I felt overwhelmed which surprised me b/c I helped raise my sisters 3 babies so I thought I had it donw pat ..no problems!! Its TOTALLY different when its yours!!!

In the hospital ..it stays surreal. then when you get to bring them home.. panic excitment and horror sinks in!!

but you make it thru and now.. the love is like nothing ive ever felt before.

Good luck!!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I had a csection under general, so I had a lot of different emotions flying around. I woke up in recovery alone (Dh stepped out to go to the bathroom for a minute). I was worried about DD b/c her heartrate had dropped and wasn't rebounding; I had no idea if she was ok. The first time I saw her was a picture on DH's phone. After 5 or 6 hours, the nurses finally brought her to me. The moment I looked at her was like being hit with a brick wall. Love, anxiety, joy, protectiveness, and a tiny bit of fear all churned together in a massive ball of emotion. I knew my life would never be the same.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I felt insane LOVE and amazement. I had finally met the person I had been waiting my whole life for.

I stayed up all night just staring at him even though I should have been sleeping.

Everyone is different and I would just go into it with an open mind and try to 'go with the flow'. Some take longer than others to adjust but I think we all get there.