Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

For me things were a little different.
I had an emergency c section at 33 weeks under a general. Right before I was angry that I was going to miss the "moment" I waited my whole life for. After I was so out of it, I was also on magnesium. I remember my DH and mom saying they were in the NICU and doing fine and showing me pictures but it was really fuzzy. The next day I couldn't get out of bed because of the magnesium and the day after I couldn't see them because I had a fever. So I was ANGRY at everyone. I remember seeing their names written on the board in my room and I hated the names because I didn't have a face to put them to.

When I was finally got to see them (on the 3rd day)....it didn't feel real. I didn't feel conected. It took a day and then FINALLY all of the emotions hit me...amazement, insane love, wanting to protect them, thankfullness, fear happiness. I cried happy tears all day!

However it happens, everyone has their "moment" it just takes some people longer to get there.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

It was a mix of emotions for me. I was in labor for so long that I was so tired. As soon as they put DS on me I just stared at him checking to see if everything was ok. The whole pregnancy I was wondering what my baby would look like, and then there he was so small and tiny. Then DH held him and that was so emotional for me. It's an amazing feeling that words can not describe.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I was in complete and utter shock. It wasn't surreal but more like unbelievable that I finally had this little person. I'm not an emotional person, but when they brought her over I was grinning from ear to ear and in tears. I was also a little nervous and scared because once I saw her, I thought that this was real.

For me, it was one thing to be pregnant and talk about being a parent but once she was born it all became jarringly real. I instantly became protective of her and loved her immediately.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I battled some serious PPD, so my answer may be a little different. First, I had a c-section that I had to be knocked out for. DD was born at 10:23pm and I didn't get to see her until 2am. In the recovery room I was in so much pain that I barely thought about my new "mom" status. Once the pain meds kicked in and I was brought to my room I was just anxious about everything going on that I didn't know about. How did our families react? What is going through DHs mind? Is DD okay? Where is DD? Those sorts of things.

When they brought her in she was so alert. Her eyes locked on mine and it was this instant connection. Kind of like "so you're my mom!" Those few days in the hospital were exhausting. I didn't sleep and just wanted to go home, but was also scared to go home and not have the nurses to call on when I needed.

After we went home BFing was such a battle. And DH and I fought like crazy. We were sleep deprived, DD was losing weight instead of gaining...it was just really hard. I was overwhelmed by all of the family being over and wanting to do for us also. And then DD became colic. And I was determined to do it all on my own without help from anyone. My maternity leave was horrible. All I did was cry and fight with DH because I resented that he was able to go to work and get away from it all when I was supposed to be overjoyed to be home with DD and I wasn't. I couldn't even take her for a walk around the block because she would just scream. But then we got DD on the right formula and things just started to click.

I don't want to freak you out, but I want to be honest. Everyone always talks about the good stuff, but they rarely talk about how difficult those first few weeks are. They are REALLY hard. You won't feel like yourself. You'll be sleep deprived. All you'll want to do is get 10 minutes to take a hot shower. Your life changes...drastically. But it's an amazing journey. If you don't have those feelings instantly, don't worry. You WILL have them. It's just not instant for some people.

And despite all of that, at 9 months, DD is SUCH a happy baby. She makes me crack up and I love every second that I get to spend with her. I'm amazed she is my daughter and that DH and I made her.

You'll be fine. Don't stress over what might be.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Honestly...I was in shock!

Everything at the end happened so fast, he was out in 3 pushes, completely drug free childbirth...I remember thinking WOW did this just happen.

I do remember feeling intense amazement, awe and a belief in God like never before.

Then we went home lol! We were released early since baby and I were doing well...I can tell you that DH and I wanted to run back to the hospital as soon as we got home and our son started crying. It was overwhlming, so much to do, so much we didn't know....and I should tell you we took EVERY baby prep course out there. nothing fully prepares you for coming home with your baby lol. DH andI fought alot for the first few months...sleep deprivation will do that.

DS is 15 weeks old now and is thriving, healthy and the love of our life. DH and I are back toour old selves...just parents now. It all comes back into place but better than ever.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I had the biggest high of my life for about an hour or so after I gave birth. I had so much energy and was soooooo happy! It was an incredible feeling, unlike any I have ever felt.

Then I started to come down and was tired. I had a short spike in blood pressure after the birth so they put me on magnesium for 24 hours- it was prob the worst 24 hours of my life. I will have DH tackle someone if they try to do that to me again!

But no it wasn't love at first site- I loved him but I honestly didn't feel that incredible love until he was able to reciprocate his feelings for me- like a smile or reaching for me, etc. I don't know why but it was more of a loving caretaker relationship before that.

Message edited 4/13/2012 9:31:29 AM.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I want to say I cried hysterically and instantly felt that explosion of love like I've never felt love before... but I didn't.

I think it was part due to my C-section and the fact that I still was drugged up / had to be closed up. I held him and touched his face but I think, in that moment, I was more overcome with nerves of not knowing what to do or how to be a good mom than anything.

Maybe with #2 when that time comes...

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I didn't feel instant overwhelming love. Nor did I get that "you'll just KNOW what to do, your maternal instinct will kick in" feeling that people talk about (still don't have it, lol).

May have been my long induction and eventual c-section. May have been the intense amount of pain I was in from a half-assed epi. May have been the back labor. But all I wanted was to GET THE BABY OUT OF ME... and when that finally happened, I was so out of it that I didn't care about much of anything. DH thought he was going to lose me on the operating table (he didn't tell me til after the fact thank god). It was just scary and such a blur.

The overwhelming love came a little later. Not sure when, but it was definitely after I left the hospital... I didn't like it there!!

But anyway at some point I did have that feeling... my heart bursts with love for her and it's so incredible. Once I got the feeling, it has never left. I was holding her last night as a matter of fact, she had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. I looked at DH and said "can we keep her?"

And he looked at me like I was insane

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Very confused about her RED hair!

But instantly inlove and pure bliss. I didn't know what to expect but OMG after pushing 2.5 hours, an episiotomy and forceps, just seeing this lil person come out of me...I was in awe. And seeing DH cry for maybe the 3rd time in the 15 years I've known him, made it even more surreal. DH took a video of when the doc finally handed her to me and I'm so happy he did b/c he captured the first words I ever said to my little girl. I instantly became a mom and it just felt so natural to me.

However, I'm expecting DC#2 in a few weeks and honestly...I'm so scared those feelings were only because DD was my first. What if I'm just like.."Oh hi new baby, what's up?" and don't get that rush of emotions? I haven't bonded with this baby the way I did when I was preggo with DD, bc really...I have a toddler at home and I'm working. I will feel overwhelmed with guilt and already do thinking about it.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

It's very hard to put into words. I think most surprising, what I felt was an utter sense of peace, like everything was right in the world. I felt no pain. I didn't feel tired. I was completely in love and just wanted to hold my baby forever. I was proud. Felt so blessed. Each time I just wanted to hold her and stare at her forever and ever.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I didn't believe he was mine.
I kept waiting for his "mom" to come get him...lol

Plus, he was blonde - really blonde with these crazy blue eyes. He looked like me except with DH's coloring...it was surreal...ll

I felt a lot of anxiety with him. I had this crazy overwhelming urge to protect him from feeling hands. If there were too many people around him I cried.

Plus, he was colic and had acid reflux, so there was already an extra level of stress added onto to the whole "new parent" thing.

I wasn't enjoying it as much as everyone of my friends and family said I would be. I wanted to be at my moms ALL the time. She was the only one that made me feel safe with him. I felt very overwhelmed when I wasn't with her - even if I was just at home with DH.

I know now it was a mix of hormones, stress and anxiety of all the changes that were going on.

Looking back on it I would do it all over again a million times. I love my DS so much that it hurts. All the stress and anxiety that he brought to our lives once he was born was a challenge, but we're surviving and he brings us so many smiles.

Message edited 4/13/2012 10:39:30 AM.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Relieved!! After 35 hours of labor & 2 hours of pushing, my first feeling was definitely relief!
It was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I ended up with a fever & infection which caused my DS to have a fever and possible sepsis (it was ruled out eventually, thank God). When my DS was born, he did not cry, he was having trouble breathing (he also had fluid in his lungs). He let out a little cry, but after that he was having a lot of trouble breathing. I remember holding him for the first time & he was laying in my arms gasping for air. I remember when he was born and they brought him to the crib to check him, he looked right over at me across the room, and we shared a special bond at that time, he knew I was Mommy! I was in love with my little angel, it was love at first sight!
I was also VERY drugged up, a lot of demerol, stadol, & epidural (they didn't allow me to get an epidural until I was 4cm and that took over 24 hours to achieve).
I was able to hold him for a couple of minutes, & DH was allowed to hold him for a couple minutes as well. They then whisked him to NICU, where he spent the next 7 days.
I would have never imagined my L&D turning out the way it did! It truly went from the happiest moment in my life to the scariest moment in my life. I still get very upset when I think of how it all went down. Thank God my DS recovered & he is happy and healthy!

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

drugged

LOL- My first was a section so I was completely out of it (the spinal didn't work so they gave me demerol or something)

My 2nd was vaginal and I felt exhilerated and proud and amazed. I can honestly say neither were love at first sight. I love them because they were my children but that overwhelming, desperately in love feeling grew with time (within the first month or so)

ETA: It was much easier with the second.

With my first I had terrible OCD/anxiety throughout the end of my pregnancy and the first few weeks of her life. I was ok in the hospital but going home I was a mess.

My 2nd was in the NICU for a week, but I handled it well. Had I been in the state I was after my 1st, I probably would've been locked away in a mental ward

Just remember: There is no right or wrong way to feel.

Good luck!

Message edited 4/13/2012 12:04:16 PM.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Posted by Bearcat
I was holding her last night as a matter of fact, she had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. I looked at DH and said "can we keep her?"

And he looked at me like I was insane

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

I felt a love that I never felt before. Different then the love I feel for DH. It was the most amazing experience and a beautiful moment that belonged to my DH & I.

I didn't cry (and I'm a crier) but I felt like I should've been. I think there were just so many emotions taking place at once.

DH was in more shock I think I was giving out orders to go take pictures

ETA: I love this post. I have a HUGE smile on my face thinking about both my DSs being born

Message edited 4/13/2012 12:10:03 PM.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

When she actually came out of me it was just surreal.
I describe it as I was numb.
I was screaming and yelling with the pushing and her crowing etc- and then the SECOND she slid out into the Dr's hands I just went quiet.
All the pain was gone.
But emotionally I was numb too.
I remember DH crying and saying how beautiful she was and all I could ask was "is she ok? is she ok?" Once I heard her cry and they said she was ok I just laid there.
I was SOOO happy it was over.
But I was numb.
They cleaned her up as the Dr stitched me and when they finally brought her to me all wrapped up to hold I have to say I did not feel a rush of love at first site.
I was just kind of like WOW this is my baby?
This is what I grew for 9 months?
In all honesty, she was a little tiny stranger.
It was so surreal.
I knew I loved her, I just didn't feel overwhelmed by it yet.


It took me awhile to bond with her and then the REAL love came.
And that was the love that I can't desecibe. The love I have for her now is ridiculous and it grows every single day.

A lot of people describe an instant love, but for me, it was more of an awe.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Posted by Xelindrya

I felt ....


Meh


I didn't get that whole 'ah-ha' moment stuff. I looked over and was like "um ok, wow. That was interesting" Then I was afraid "well crap.. now what do I do, I can't POSSIBLY be a good enough mom."

Honestly it took a few weeks to truly bond. I spent all my waking hours with her, bf and tried to keep her close. I talked her and felt like she was my best friend. She was mine. It was a wonderful feeling but not earth shattering seeing other dimensions crazy. Just amazed.

a few weeks later I felt like she was the most beautiful creature in all the world LOL. :) I felt something was wrong with me for not having that instant bond thing. I dont feel I 'missed' out. I just took more time to get there. I kinda appreciate it. I didn't just fall instantly in love. I fell slowly. That slow fall sure did do me in though. By then I knew her good and bad sides and I felt more tolerant. I loved her for all of it. Still do.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

It was very surreal. I cried when DH announced we had a son. I loved him, but it didn't feel real for a while. I was exhausted and trying to recover from a long induction and c-section. It didn't really hit me how much I loved DS until he was admitted to the NICU with a fever at 2 days old.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

the whole thing is very surreal. Like "wait... did that really just happen? how did he get here?"

I just stared at him a lot.

Then i was relieved that my husband changed his diapers in the hospital because he was so small and i was nervous.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

The first moment I saw the twins I seriously felt complete. I just stared at them and wondered how we created something so perfect and beautiful. I also couldn't help but keep looking over at my DH and see the smile on his face holding them. It melts my heart every time. Now, at 6 months I still look at them everyday and I'm truly amazed that they are mine and they are perfect in everyway.

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

For both pregnancies I was a nervous wreck (and for no reason) cause i had awesome pregnancies. When the doctor tells you here comes your baby and you hear that first cry its amazzzzzing. I NEVER CRY LIKE NEVER and both times when i heard my dc cry for the first time I lost it. I was just so happy i couldnt stop crying. You will feel like your in a different world. Everything changes once the baby gets here all for the better

Re: tell me how you felt when you had your dc?

It was the most amazing feeling in the world. Both times I was over come with joy and they were both the happiest moments of my life. My heart was filled with so much love. It is just unbelievable. Enjoy and savor the moments after you give birth!!