Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

Gosh were to begin...

Kevin has been really hard to handle lately. Fights during diaper changes. Throwing things on the floor during mealtimes. Crying when he doesn't get his way to the point of almost vomiting.

I think part of it comes from his frustration at us not understanding what he wants at times. He's always pointing at objects but then screams when we give it to him, I guess were aren't giving his what he wants.

At meal times he's starting to want to completely feed himself but doesn't want us to cut his food into small bites, he wants a whole cookie or a whole chicken nugget and at 16 months thats just not possible.

How do you handle this stage. I love him but I'm getting really depressed and tense just waiting for the next outburst and I just don't know how to calm him down when he gets all worked up.

Any tips for a totally stressed out mom.

Re: Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

Hmmm...I'm certainly no expert here and probably shouldn't be giving tips but anyway...here's what I do...

Diaper change...I never know if it will be peaceful or if she will be hanging upside down by one leg while I clean off the poop. But I give her objects that she shouldn't normally have to hold (like my old cell phone) and I either change her on the floor in front of the TV with a show she likes or on the changing table that has a fake electric fish tank next to it and the sound machine that she likes to play with. So long as she can get her hands on an electronic item she seems happy.

Sidney also seems a lot more content once she learned the sign for "more"

I give her big pieces of food now (at 16 months) and just watch her very closely and tell her to take small bites and chew chew chew. I sing to her and dance like an idiot at meal times and give her the spoon and fork to "play with" Sometimes she wants a real spoon so I give that to her. Then after half way thru the meal she starts yelling for "TD" (means TV). So...now I don't condone this and am hoping to break this habit..but I wheel her in front of the tube to get those last few bites in.

Other than that when sidney would get out of control I would try taking her into another room like the bathroom and sprinkle her feet with water to distract her or go outside and look at trees etc.

That's all I can think of right now. But I think it is just that your DS is frustrated that he can't get his point across. Hopefully it will pass when he can say more words. Hang in there and try to stay calm thru the outbursts. There were times that I had been sooo frustrated that I had to just walk away and let her cry. And when possible I would try to ignore the behavior so as to not reinforce it.
Good Luck.

Re: Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

yup, at 15 months here, he is a handful, he actually spits at people when they say Hi to him, now I don't actually think hr knws what he is doing but how embarassing. He throws things when he doesn't want it, pulls hair, and lays on te ground kicking and screaming if god forbid I take a choking hazard out of his hands, I try to ingnore it, ask people not to laugh at him since that makes it worse or i remove him fromt he situation.

Re: Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

you have to ignore the behavior. if he gets no attention from it it will stop. if he is frustrated because he cant speak try picking him up and moving him towards the way he is pointing.. if he keeps the tantrom up i would put him down and say ok well i can't understand you while you are screaming so when you calm down we will try again. maybe he won't understand at first but he will catch on and quick. kids are quick learners.

Re: Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

Do you present the cookie/nugget etc to him whole and then cut it up ? Or he just knows that when its in little pieces it wasnt originally that way??

With my nephew who really threw tantrums at diaper changes, I would ask him what do you want to hold? And each time it would be one thing...the powder( closed), the diaper, the wipes and he would get to hold it while I was doing it...He liked to participate?

Silly things I know, but Im sure any tips would help.

Hang in there....

Re: Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

OMG! I could of written this post myself!

Julia is doing the same things, she's 16 months also. She will fight with me now to change her diaper, and she doesn't want her food cut up at all, she wants us to give her the whole chicken nugget or chip or whatever it is she's eating
We will let her feed herself, but watch her till she's done eating it.

She is also saying a lot of new words, but if she wants something and we don't give her the right thing she gets so mad and starts to wave her finger in our face saying all kids of babble--lol

I don't think there is much to do about it, its just something that will pass I guess, or get worse......Hang in there!

Re: Terrible twos at 16 months - HELP!

Emily is 13 months----and I see her getting the same way.

As for the diaper changes we do them 90% of the time on the floor in the living room becuase I'm just too terrified of her falling off of the changing table. We also give her "special" things to hold like our cellphones, TV remove, clean medicine givers (she loves them), etc. We try to do zerberts on her belly, tickle her and be silly to hold her attention so she doesn't try to crawl away.

Dinner is also this big amusement trick time. We sing songs with her, make funny noises -- to try and keep her entertained and eating---also when she starts to throw food we take everything off of her tray and tell her nono, then little by little give her bites of food back so she knows that she can't throw it overboard -- it's for eating.

We also give her her own spoon (sometimes a real spoon) so she thinks she's feeding herself. You'd be surprised, sometimes she's sucessful!

My landlords can hear us when we are in the kitchen and I swear if they hear me singing the "All aboard the Yogurt Train" (song from ChooChoo Soul on the disney channel) or all aboard the french fry train again----they'll think I'm nuts.

As far as the objects thing...Emily is pointing all over the place, but sometimes she doesn't want things, sometimes she just wants us to walk around the room pointing to things and saying their names. I think she wants to know what everything is.

I don't know if this helps but at least know that you are not alone in your frustrations. You'll get through it, just like you got through those newborn sleepless nights!