Timing of 2nd DC

A lot of my friends are at the stage where they are having #2 and all I keep hearing is how impossibly hard it is to have a newborn and a 18-24 month old. Personally I found just having a newborn so difficult (mostly because I am barely able to function when I am even a little sleep deprived, always have been) so now I am especially terrified about how hard it would be to have a second. How much easier is it if you wait until DC#1 is 3yo? 4 yo? I don't think I'd want to wait longer than that.

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My boys are 3yrs3mos apart. We actually intending on them being closer in age, but it took 10 months to get pregnant. I do still wish they were a grade closer, but it is z really nice age gap. Older DS was already in preschool so it gave me mornings with the new baby. I was definitely exhausted, but I think less so then if they were closer.

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I'm worried about this too. I just had my first in August and was going to wait a year to start trying for #2. Now that she's here and the reality of taking care of a baby, I want to wait a bit longer.

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We're hoping to have #2 somewhere between 2.5/3.5 years apart from DD. I love enjoying one on one time with DD, and I also want her to be relatively independent when we have our second.

Everyone's situation is different but that's what we feel will be the best for us.

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Timing of 2nd DC

originally i wanted them 2 years apart. dd just turned 1, and i now feel apprehensive about it. i work full time, she was a difficult baby but great now, and i feel like adding a second baby in the mix is going to be really really hard. i'm still on the fence about when to try.

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Message edited 1/11/2014 10:56:01 PM.

Timing of 2nd DC

My kids are 5 & 6 yrs apart ..BEST DECISION for me!!!! I got to enjoy the toddler years & didn't go crazy..well i do but a different kind of crazy :)

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My DD was exactly 4.5 yrs old when my DS was born this year. Honestly, I had wanted kids closer in age BUT I will say that the big age difference was actually a blessing in disguise. No matter what going from one to two kids is hard but because she's older, out of diapers, mostly self sufficient and independent it made dealing with a NB so much easier.

She is able to keep herself occupied when I am busy with him and she's actually a HUGE help. She can feed him his bottle when he's in the high chair, she can grab me a bib or whatever else I need if I can't get up, she plays with him and keeps him occupied and happy. She is a wonderful big sister.

But I think the BEST part though is she really understood what was happening when I was pregnant, she was a part of everything which really made her happy so when he arrived she was over the moon, and she is SO, SO amazing with him. She adores him beyond words and has never once been jealous of him or felt displaced. She's just always been so thrilled to have a baby brother and he fell right into place with the family.......especially with Emerson. I was very happy about that.

I really LOVE that 4.5 year age gap, I think it's made the transition a little better for sure! I am glad it worked out the way it did.

ETA - The nice part too is my DD just started Kindergarten and I was home with her for all 5 years. Now with her in school my DS will get a lot of one on one time with me too during the day while she's in school. I think that is awesome for him!

Message edited 10/18/2013 8:44:11 AM.

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I am hoping to have my 2nd when DD is 3-4 years old. DD is 16 months old now, and I could not handle another at this moment. I am starting to miss the feel of holding a teeny, tiny baby, but I'll borrow my friends' infants for that...lol!

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Were waiting until DS turns about 3. So he'll be in school and it will be a little easier on me.

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i cant speak from personal experience, but i have friends that have kids that at 4 yrs apart and friends that have kids that are 1 yr apart. they both have pros and cons. you have to do what works for you.

my friend that has them 4 yrs apart says how great her older dd was when it came to helping with the new baby. but its tough bc the older one does soccer and other activities that she has to take the newborn too no matter how tired or sleep deprived she felt.
my friend with the kids 1 yr apart say its easier bc they are at similar stages in their life - both in diapers, both taking naps etc but you dont get to really enjoy them at their young age bc you have two to watch

we were hoping to have ours 2-3 yrs apart...but what is that saying - you make plans and god laughs....we got pregnant much sooner then expected and our kids will be 15 months apart

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My older DS and my twins are 2.5 years apart. If I could do it all over again, I think 3 years would be the perfect gap.

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Ideally i would be ready now (DS is 14 months) but financially it just wouldn't be possible. I definitely want two eventually but money is always something I worry about.

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I got pregnant with DD the same week that DS turned 2. I actually wanted them to be about 2-2.5 years apart but they are 33 months apart. Honestly, it is PERFECT! He is so good with his little sister, independent and patient enough to understand. Perfect age gap IMO.

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My first two are 18 months apart...it wasn't too bad for us, but #2 was an easy newborn. My 3rd one was just born 4.5 years after #2 and I can see why people wait! My older two are so independent! Its hard in other ways because I have to bring my newborn everywhere (soccer field, dance, girl scouts). I wish she was closer in age to my other two, but with childcare it worked out better for us to wait. We would like at least one more, but we want them closer in age like my first two. I guess basically what I am trying to say is that there are great things about having them close in age and farther apart. It is never "easy" since the challenges change as the ages change.

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For me I want mine closer in age like 2 years apart, so they have more in common growing up etc. plus I kinda want to go through all the baby stages in less time than waiting 4 years in between. All that out weighs the cons of having them close together IMO. My dd is almost 13 months, and we will be trying next month (although the thought makes my stomach nervous lol)

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we are thinking of this at this exact moment. Ds is 15 months. Ithought id wait till he was a year and begin, but it is so much work, and the time, adn i am always nervous about what id be taking away from him. we are at a point where we are at a point if i got pregnant we wouldnt be upset, but are not quite trying at this point. It was a hrd decision but due to my age, we didnt watn to wait much longer. i wish you hte best.. not an easy decision to make.

Timing of 2nd DC

My two boys are 3.5 years apart and it great...my older Ds can help with the little one which is amazing. He can also entertain himself for a little while if i have to do something, and he goes to school a couple hours a day.

Timing of 2nd DC

DD will be 4.5 when the baby is born and I think she will be a big help amd very understanding. I'm also happy that we had all of this time alone with her and now she'll be in K soon and I'll have some time alone w baby. For us the timing is good! I'm not sure I would have been ready sooner.

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I am in the same boat..Trying to decide whether to try when DS turns 2 ish or 3ish (ie 3 or 4 year age gap). I had a 7 week old visiting my house yesterday with my 16 month old DS and I don't think I could handle it hehe (then again I don't know if I will be able to in another year or two either). It's so hard and DS was NOT an easy baby so I think that makes me even more nervous

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My DD will be 33 months when this LO is born...my biggest concern was not having 2 in diapers...and I was able to train DD last week at 28 months, so she'll hopefully be a potty pro by the time the new baby comes.

Aside from that, she's already super excited about the baby coming and she already loves to help me. I'm hopeful that this will be a great age difference. They will be close enough to share their childhood, but DD is also not a baby anymore.

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My kids are 3y3m apart. Its the way we wanted it. Love hte age gap. DS1 was super excited about having a baby when I was pregnant, he loved going to sono appts, showing pictures of his baby to everyone, making plans for his baby etc. He was super involved in my pregnancy which was great. He is also mature for for his age, so after ds2 came there was never an ounce of jealousy. He was so happy and proud to have a baby brother.

I also love the age because not at 5.5 and 2.5yo, they like to play together, fight like brothers, and laugh like brothers together. DS2 thinks he is 6 so he likes to play all the things his brother does, and 75% of the time DS1 loves having his brother around. I feel like they are far enough apart to really be individuals and do there own thing, but close enough to be friends.....

Now I have learned it depends on that kid bc, DS2 is 2.5 (this is about hte age ds1 was when I got pregnant) and DH and I are on the fence about #3, but seriously DS2 is sooooo high maintenance we can't imagine adding another child to the mix right now. I know it wouldnt be as smooth a transition as it was hte first time around.

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DS1 was a difficult newborn. I had no desire to have kids close in age. My boys are 3.5 years apart. I love the age difference. DS1 was old enough to understand if I needed to tend to his brother. I liked only having 1 in diapers. There was no jealousy. They adore each other.

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We started trying for our second child when my first was close to 2 years old. I thought it was going to be easy to get pregnant since it didn't take that much effort the first time but I was wrong. It took us 2.5 years to get pregnant. I wound up doing a medicated IUI with clomid. While it was emotionally hard trying for so long I'm glad, in a way that it did take so long. Its a lot easier to handle a newborn with an older child (mine is now over 4 years old). She"s very mature in some ways, a great helper, doesn't exhibit jealousy towards her sister, and can do most things on her own (use the bathroom, feed herself, get dressed).