Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

I have just about lost my mind with Kaila lately. Some days are really good days with her, some are bad, really bad. Im talking about her behavior. Today for example we were going to my girlfriends apartment out west, I knew she was a little tired but never expected a screaming, hitting lunatic!!! After about an hour, we were at a restaurant (nothing crazy, CPK actually) and she just lost it. All over the place, dropping things on purpose, telling me to go away and that she doesnt like me I know she doesnt really mean it, but her mood swings really come out of no where.

I probably sound like Im all over the place but I just dont know where to begin. I feel like Im constantly yelling lately, and I feel horrible for it. DH thinks Im handling it the right way, but Im not really so sure. I feel like me yelling is rubbing off on her, and now she yells at us.

She doesnt act this way at school, I've asked the teacher. She was actually very surprised to hear she even has tantrums. Im just at my witts end, I dont want to yell anymore. But when I try to sit her down and talk to her she doesnt listen either. This has been going on for a few months now.. could this really be just a phase??? I've tried time outs, they work for a few mintues. If I take something away that she really likes she flips out.. like crying to the point where I think she's going to throw up. I just dont want it to be this way for a long time, with the new baby comming and all Im afraid it will get worse. Thanks for letting me vent if you got that far.. any advice would be appreciated

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

You missed my DD's meltdown by 30 mins Friday night Ask Melissa it wasn't pretty. She is excellent at school as well I think it's the age......At least you know I'm there with you

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Posted by BlessedMommy

You missed my DD's meltdown by 30 mins Friday night Ask Melissa it wasn't pretty. She is excellent at school as well I think it's the age......At least you know I'm there with you

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Hang in there. At this age, they really cannot process their feelings fast enough to stop them. Just keep giving her the right support/direction/discipline she needs to learn to gain control of her emotions. We have a mood swing queen over here, as well, and while we don't let it slide, we also try not to punish her if she clearly doesn't know how to handle how she's feeling. She told JT, "STOP TALKING TO ME!" today, and he just said, "That really hurt my feelings, and you should also not be yelling at me." He left it at that, and five minutes later she came in and apologized because she must have processed what she said and did. It's a constant battle because we just want to scream and yell at her sometimes, but we really try to give her the words to explain her feelings and set boundaries of what's appropriate and what's not. I mean, not for nothing, but as I sit here typing this, she's sitting on the potty yelling that she doesn't want to make a poopy even though she needs to Then she got so mad about pooping that she threw something at the cat And as soon as I started to say something, she was already apologizing to the cat and saying, "But I just don't want to poop," and then she just told a knock, knock joke

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

How old is she?

Tantrums are par for the course at any age.

Talking and explanations are going to do nothing, unfortunately. I am a very quick consequence person.

Cailen does something. If it is ok to give him a warning ( meaning he won't get hurt or break something) I give him a warning. Don't do that again, or you get time out.

He either knows we mean it, and stops, or he does it again, and gets time out. All toys get removed from his hands, and he gets time out.

Tantrums at someone's house, he gets removed, put in the car, until he calms down. We don't talk to him, and we don't look at him. He gets strapped into his car seat, and he wails it out until he is ready. Restaurants, he gets removed and time out by staring at the wall.

No talking, no explanations. It's this, or that. Plain and simple. Do this, you get that. If he hates "that" then he stops dong "this."

I have to be honest, at 22 mts old, he has his little fits, but for the most part, he is a well behaved little boy. It took months to get here, but he knows what time out means, and he hates it.

It's the hardest thing to do, but worth every heart breaking minute.

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

It's the age and I think girls can even be more dramatic about their tantrums which drives me nuts. We had my DD (2 years and 1 month) and my niece 2 years 3 months) ALL DAY into the night yesterday and I thought I would go nuts. If one was behaving, the other was not. My niece who is older really got on my nerves- teasing and taunting my DD, telling me no, grabbing toys and snacks, etc. I am dreading what is coming!

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Posted by prncss

Hang in there. At this age, they really cannot process their feelings fast enough to stop them. Just keep giving her the right support/direction/discipline she needs to learn to gain control of her emotions. We have a mood swing queen over here, as well, and while we don't let it slide, we also try not to punish her if she clearly doesn't know how to handle how she's feeling. She told JT, "STOP TALKING TO ME!" today, and he just said, "That really hurt my feelings, and you should also not be yelling at me." He left it at that, and five minutes later she came in and apologized because she must have processed what she said and did. It's a constant battle because we just want to scream and yell at her sometimes, but we really try to give her the words to explain her feelings and set boundaries of what's appropriate and what's not. I mean, not for nothing, but as I sit here typing this, she's sitting on the potty yelling that she doesn't want to make a poopy even though she needs to Then she got so mad about pooping that she threw something at the cat And as soon as I started to say something, she was already apologizing to the cat and saying, "But I just don't want to poop," and then she just told a knock, knock joke

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Posted by lipglossjunky73

How old is she?

Tantrums are par for the course at any age.

Talking and explanations are going to do nothing, unfortunately. I am a very quick consequence person.

Cailen does something. If it is ok to give him a warning ( meaning he won't get hurt or break something) I give him a warning. Don't do that again, or you get time out.

He either knows we mean it, and stops, or he does it again, and gets time out. All toys get removed from his hands, and he gets time out.

Tantrums at someone's house, he gets removed, put in the car, until he calms down. We don't talk to him, and we don't look at him. He gets strapped into his car seat, and he wails it out until he is ready. Restaurants, he gets removed and time out by staring at the wall.

No talking, no explanations. It's this, or that. Plain and simple. Do this, you get that. If he hates "that" then he stops dong "this."

I have to be honest, at 22 mts old, he has his little fits, but for the most part, he is a well behaved little boy. It took months to get here, but he knows what time out means, and he hates it.

It's the hardest thing to do, but worth every heart breaking minute.

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

It's the age - it is starting to get better now at 3.3 years but she still has her moments. As for school, my DD is the biggest angel and her teachers are shocked when they see her giving me a hard time. However, I am convinced she watches the other kids at school and tries their material on me at home.

BTW - I thought she was very well behaved the few times I have seen her recently

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Lily is only 20 months now, so I'm not all that experienced at this....but I've been reading that kids will have tantrums around their parents because that's where they're comfortable. So, if you want to see the positive side, in a strange way, it means she loves you and feels safe around you!

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Posted by Melissa77

It's the age - it is starting to get better now at 3.3 years but she still has her moments. As for school, my DD is the biggest angel and her teachers are shocked when they see her giving me a hard time. However, I am convinced she watches the other kids at school and tries their material on me at home.

BTW - I thought she was very well behaved the few times I have seen her recently

Re: Toddler behavior question.. help!!!!

Posted by Palebride

Lily is only 20 months now, so I'm not all that experienced at this....but I've been reading that kids will have tantrums around their parents because that's where they're comfortable. So, if you want to see the positive side, in a strange way, it means she loves you and feels safe around you!