Tubal vs Vasectomy

DH and I have decided that we are done having kids and we have decided multiple times that we are done and are happy the way we are.

I stopped taking BC about 6 months ago because I was done with the hormones.

We have been using a combination of spermicide and pull and pray.

So after a brief "scare" I decided we need to do something else.

I have researched both options and know that a vasectomy is less invasive and a quicker healing time, etc.

DH said he would think about it.

If DH said no, would you still go ahead with a tubal?

Those who have experience either 1 or the other, if you would share your experiences that would be great too.

I am just trying to get a better grip on our options.

For those that don't know me, we have 2 kids and we are 26. (I know age will come up)

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

My DH was all set to get a V and he chickened out. I had two frigging c-sections and he couldn't get a little snip!! I am going to talk to my Dr about getting me done instead. It is too stressful each month hoping for a period.

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My DH and I are both 32...will be 33 this year.

We have a 20mth old and a 2mth old...girl and boy.

We decided that we are done having children as well. We decided that after we got preggo with my 2nd child. In order for us to afford to give our 2 children the best, we cant have anymore.

I didnt want to go through the pills, nuvaring and all the hormone reactions I get from taking those preventive measures.

So my DH took the initiative and said that he would get the vasectomy since I carry and go through the pain of labor and delivery. And, like you said, it is much more non invasive.

So his appointment is coming up in March. It is a one day procedure...in and out...and his dr recommends that he stay home maybe 2days afterwards. But he can perform normal activities almost immediately. You cant do baby dance for a few weeks...but I think the end result far outweighs the temporary lack of sexual satisfaction.

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

TMI post warning:

personally, I would only get a tubal if they were already in there (during a cessarian). DH and I hate invasive birth control Why not use condoms? They're really not that bad once you get used to them... We never ever had an 'event' with them. I don't like spermicide becuase I think it may make one more prone to infections becuase of all of that goop condoms are much less icky IMO

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

Posted by wannabemom

TMI post warning:

personally, I would only get a tubal if they were already in there (during a cessarian). DH and I hate invasive birth control Why not use condoms? They're really not that bad once you get used to them... We never ever had an 'event' with them. I don't like spermicide becuase I think it may make one more prone to infections becuase of all of that goop condoms are much less icky IMO

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

I personaly would never ask DH to have a vasectomy. It would like him asking me to have my tubes tied so we don't have any kids.

I think it depends on your age also.

More importantly, if I was younger and able to bear kids I would not do it. You just never know what the future may bring.

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

I can't tell you what to do, but personally I'd insist upon him getting the vasectomy. It's a procedure done in the doctor's office vs. full on surgery for a tubal, there are fewer side effects and if you change your mind about wanting more kids, it's much more easily reversed. If he refused, I'd buy a box of condoms (though I know you said you don't want that either, maybe it would be enough to convince him!).

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A vasectomy for sure. I birthed these babies, now it's his turn when we're done.

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Posted by laurabora

I can't tell you what to do, but personally I'd insist upon him getting the vasectomy. It's a procedure done in the doctor's office vs. full on surgery for a tubal, there are fewer side effects and if you change your mind about wanting more kids, it's much more easily reversed. If he refused, I'd buy a box of condoms (though I know you said you don't want that either, maybe it would be enough to convince him!).

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My dh is getting the Vasectomy. We decided this way because if god forbid we did want more children much later on or if we ever seperated we could still have kids. they can suck his lil swimmers out and put them in me.

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My appt is set for Feb 11, I am done, done, done !!! if i were to wait for my DH to take the intiative i would be waiting forever. my procedure is more invasive but i really don't want any more children.

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

Posted by laurabora

I can't tell you what to do, but personally I'd insist upon him getting the vasectomy. It's a procedure done in the doctor's office vs. full on surgery for a tubal, there are fewer side effects and if you change your mind about wanting more kids, it's much more easily reversed. If he refused, I'd buy a box of condoms (though I know you said you don't want that either, maybe it would be enough to convince him!).

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

If DH said no which he did, than I'm all for the tubal....and I'll be getting it one day.

ETA..I lied, DH didn't actually say no but I know he truly rather not. If I asked him to and he knew it was truly what I wanted then I know he would do it. the reason why it's not up for discussion on my part is b/c DH is the bread winner, I am a SAHM so if Dh is out of work due to any complication our bills don't get paid. I am not afraid of getting my tubes tied, so I'll be getting it be done.

Message edited 1/26/2009 5:31:22 PM.

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

Honestly, if he didn't want to get one, then I would do whatever I had to. Personally, I don't think either of us would go that drastic, because you never know what the future holds and you're are still young. I don't think it is right to try and force him, reversible or not, it is still his body, KWIM? If he doesn't like the idea, use cndoms. Let him (or you) decide which you like less . GL in whatever you decide

BTW, we are NOT condom people either and they irritate me physically and DH mentally, but I would do that before a surgery.

Message edited 1/26/2009 5:48:06 PM.

Re: Tubal vs Vasectomy

dh got snipped...the drs make the wife come to the consultation.

he was sore for a few days..ice packs helped and warm baths.

we decided to go that route cuz I was the one PG and raising them, the least he could do was get snipped.

had I had a c section, then I would have gotten my tubes tied.

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I hear that a lot that if you had a Csection its easier to get it done then.

I had both vaginal so that never occured to me.

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I guess I'm the odd man out here b/c I have no problem getting a tubal. Carrying them for 10 months giving birth w/o drugs and be home with them all day doesn't make me feel like he owes me anything. maybe it's b/c I'm not afriad to go under the knife. I'm sure if I was I'd be singing a different tune.
We are going to wait a little while before we make a MAJOR decision.

We are back and fourth with having another one.

One day I want one and the next I'm ready to burn my tubes so that right there says I'm not ready to make a solid decision.

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I have been through hell after giving birth to DS. I can't take another surgery. When we officially decide we are done, he either gets the vasectomy or he's never seeing my inner thighs again.

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What about an IUD? I have had Mirena for a year and a half and its been great. They put it in (painless, just like a pap) and then you don't have to worry about it for 5 years.

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It is a moot point for us since I cannot get PG without assistance anyway.

HOWEVER, I'd still never do it.

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DH and I have decided that he will get a vasectomy after we have DC #2 (#4 for him) He has no problem doing it.

ETA: DH is actually worried that if I get my tubes tied it will cause hormonal issues/cancers if I do that is why he would prefer to get the vasectomy.

Message edited 1/26/2009 6:22:28 PM.

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I dont think I would get the tubal unless I was older.. Im only 24. DH said he would get the VA done.. so thats that.

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My DH refuses.

And he won't let me get a tubal either. I would though, just not quite yet.

But in MOST cases, I think the V is the way to go. All the men in my family have them

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DH will be having a vasectomy; he already offered. He is terrified of me dying and leaving him alone with both kids.

However, I am going to be 40- fertile still but old enough to know we are done. Don't know if I would do such a drastic thing at 26. I would probably just get an IUD instead.