Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

So I hate my job and am actively looking to leave as soon as possible. (Hopefully within a month or two).

Part of the reason that I want to leave this job is that I never fit in here. The guys (I am the only female associate) always go out and grab lunch together and never let me know when they are going, despite my repeated requests. So I just gave up and stopped askign and just do my own thing.

One of the guys is leaving and they are having a happy hour for him. Now, I will be out of the office all day on business. Plus I am a parent.

ETA: My dd is not going to be in LI, If i were to go, my mom who is watching her now will have to stay late.

So do I go and be a good sport, or do I skip it citing work/family commitments.

ETA: I have been here a year and have gone out of my way to make the two happy hours that have been held in the past year.

Message edited 6/11/2008 10:57:29 PM.

Re: Dilemma- WWYD

If you weren't looking for a new job and were willing to stick it out I would have gone.

But since you will be out of there anyways in due time, why bother?

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

No I would not go.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

If it was me, I wouldn't go. And I wouldn't even offer an explanation - just a plain simple, "no, can't make it"

If you are leaving anyway, and relatively soon, don't worry about being a good sport or looking like a team player to these people who have gone out of their way to exclude you.

I would say no, and not give it a second thought.

Sorry you have to deal with that!

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

I'd say definitely go , if you were going to be in the office. Just because they are rude to/dissimsive of you, doesn't mean you should do the same.

If you show that you want to be part of the group, instead of just saying it, they might finally get it & include you in the future.

Even if you plan on leaviing, it might make things better for the remainder of your time thre, esoecuailly inthe event that it lasts longer than you hope.

Don't stay long if you feel awkward though.

However, if it is really out of the way for you, you could skip it.

Message edited 6/11/2008 1:20:26 PM.

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Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

I'd try to at least stop by for a little bit. They know you are a parent so they won't expect you to stay long. Just have a drink, wish him well. It might even be fun. It never hurts to look like a team player.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

Since you are looking to leave anyway I say no.
It's not right how they don't include you in lunches etc...
If you were going to stay- I would say go and try to make ammends.
But in this case- I say forget it!

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

i say skip it--if they never include you anyway, why start now? if anything they might feel uncomfortable having you there as i'm sure happy hour consists of some "guy talk" they wouldn't want to have around a female they never interact with anyway.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

I would absolutely go - What if you don't find a job withing your 1-2 month window? Going to work everyday is much more pleasant when you have friends there .........If they invited you, I'd go, have a drink or 2 and then leave them to their boy time. - That way, you've made the effort, you haven't snubbed their invitation, but you also made it clear that you're not interested in hanging out as one of the boys on a regular basis -

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Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

I worked for a company for over ten years and I was one of three women among a sea of men. I think this is just how guys are. I would go to HH and have a good time.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

Screw them.

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I would not go. We frequently have happy hours here at work and I can rarely make them due to my DD.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

dont go

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

I would go. While I understand your point of view and can completely relate, I would still make an effort to stop by even for a brief period of time.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

this is just me, but I wouldn't go. I would graciously turn down the invite because I never like to burn bridges. But I can honestly think of a million different thinks I would rather be doing with my precious time than spending it with people who really don't appreciate my presence. That is just my opinion on it though, I'm not one for making small talk with people I hardly know so going to a happy hour with people I don't normally hang out with sounds like torture to me.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

If you were invited, I'd go. While I wouldn't expect a happy hour when I leave, you never know who is going to be the associate/partner to help you out later with a recommendation or a new job.

You know how great you are at networking. Don't miss the opportunity.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

Thanks guys. Turns out DD won't be at my mom's so I don't have a babysitter. I really can't go past 5:30.

I was part of a mass e-mailing, I wansn't personally invited. And at the last happy hour I blew off my aunt who came in from Paris, and still- nothing really changed. I even bought a round

If they go out early enough and my deposition ends early, I will try to make it. If not, I won't. I didn't even know the guy was leaving until today and his last day in friday.

Message edited 6/11/2008 9:26:04 PM.

Re: Unimportant Dilemma- WWYD

I would base it on my relationship with that person. If you are friends go, if not skip.