Update on life...

I've gone back and forth on if I should post anything on this board about what has been going on with me, but ultimately, I decided that doing it was a good idea. I know that sometimes reading other women's updates can have a sad or depressing effect, but I'm hoping that for some atleast, this will bring hope...

As many of you know, last November I suffered a full term loss, and our daughter Sarah Marie passed away. We declined to have an autopsy done, a decision that I still stand by even though my mind does tend to wonder what if. A couple of months after her passing, we found out that I have 2 different types of thrombophilias. We'll never know if this had anything to do with our losing Sarah, but, it kind of is all that we have.

On Memorial Day we found out that I am pregnant with our second child. I'm currently 23+ weeks pregnant, due on Feb 8th (but due to our situation, this little Spud will be born before then.) We're so excited for this blessing...But that doesn't mean that it's easy in any way, shape or form.

Medically, I am on Lovenox, baby aspirin, and high doses of folic acid, in addition to the usual pre-natals. I'm seen by both my regular OB, and a High Risk doctor...I feel like I am at the doctor all of the time - and I am perfectly okay with this. Emotionally, this is one giant rollercoaster. I am constantly battling with my feelings of anxiety and those of extreme happiness...It's very hard to balance the mouring of one child, while celebrating the sheer joy of another. But, I'm getting there...

I really do hope that I don't offend or upset anyone by writing any of this. I just feel like maybe if even just one person can read and know my story, and gains some kind of hope from it, I'll feel like it was worth it. Everyone on this board has gone through some kind of loss that no one deserves to ever go through...It isn't fair that some people get to go through life only knowing that feeling of all pregnancies ending in happiness...but, we have to keep going...If we don't, what do we have?

I truly believe that each and every woman on here will one day hold their precious babies in their arms, and bring them home with them. I hate that it's more of a struggle for many of us...but, I know that it will happen. So far everything has been going great with this baby, and I have no reason to think otherwise. I just want 2011 to be here already.

Know that I think of you all often...and really wish you all the best...

Thanks for listening

Re: Update on life...

I have had 2 miscarriages, but I still can not even fathom the pain of a full term loss. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

I'm thrilled to hear that you are expecting again! I will keep you in my prayers for a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery!

Congratulations!

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So sorry for your devestating loss! God is blessing you now with a healthy baby who will be here before you know it.
I miscarried in July and am still not quite over it. we find out tomorrow if our FET worked.
none of this is easy for any of us. We have to fight to stay strong!

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I am so sorry for your loss........

But on a happier note, Congratulations on your new future bundle of joy!!!

Thank you for sharing your story with us.....in hopes to give us girls some hope as well!

Along with you, I can't wait for 2011 to be here already either!!!!!

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i am so very sorry for your loss..im so happy to hear you are feeling ok and expecting!!! wishing nothing but ahappy and healthy 9 months

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OMG Jill I am soooooooo happy for you, I haven't been on in awhile and when I saw your post I was so excited for you and your DH.

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I am very sorry for your loss.

Congrats on the exciting news!

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I've been following your story since you lost your daughter and I want you to know that you give me a ton of hope. Your strength inspires me to not give up. I lost a baby last year at 12 weeks and then suffered an ectopic this summer which lead to emergency removal of my right tube and sometimes I feel like we will never hold our LO in our arms......but, then I read posts like this and I remember why I love this board so much Congrats on your pregnancy and lots of good wishes for all the future holds for you!!

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I am terribly sorry for your loss. I went through an MC a few days after Christmas last year and it was horrible and I can't imagine what you and DH went through.

It sounds like even though this has been a rough year, both you and DH are doing well with everything. Happy hugs to you and your family.