| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] |
eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by kellsbells7
DH and I had the sorry experience of attending our town civic association meeting where the plans to build a house for adults with Autism was discussed.
I have never seen a bigger group of ignorant, low-life trash than the people who started screaming about how now their kid can't walk to the candy store and now they have to lock their doors all the time because the big, bad autistic adults might go crazy and attack them...
I was embarrassed to live in my town.
So am I surprised that people are trying to block the building of a home for MR/DD people? Not at all.
was this in Greenlawn? A co-worker of mine had this happen last year in his town and he was making flyers to have it stopped for all the reasons you were stating. Although the place he spoke of, was for children, I thought. We had a HUGE fight at work bc I couldnt believe how insensitive and ignorant he was.
|
Posted 7/29/09 11:23 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by Nifheim
that is the problem with the mentality of group home = devalue of properties. I think that attitude needs to be adjusted. I still do not understand why older empty facilities such as Pilgrim/Grumman plants can not be developed into homes for people with special needs. You can make parks, therapy areas, etc. But instead let's put another senior housing complex!
I respectfully disagree. Why should they have to live in a complex? Why can't they live in a nice home in a beautiful neighborhood like the rest of us?
|
| Posted 7/30/09 10:09 AM |
| |
|
MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by Nifheim
that is the problem with the mentality of group home = devalue of properties. I think that attitude needs to be adjusted. I still do not understand why older empty facilities such as Pilgrim/Grumman plants can not be developed into homes for people with special needs. You can make parks, therapy areas, etc. But instead let's put another senior housing complex!
I respectfully disagree. Why should they have to live in a complex? Why can't they live in a nice home in a beautiful neighborhood like the rest of us?
ITA. I wanted to add their presence should be known in the community. Not hearing or seeing them is not necessarily a good thing.
|
| Posted 7/30/09 10:27 AM |
| |
|
Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Oh no didn't mean complex. I mean like town homes/condo's or even detached homes where services are geared around them.
They have special needs, they need therapy, nurses, etc and if you centralize that it can be very beneficial. So you need room for that. Some neighborhoods simply do not have the space to build it. BUT if you have a section that is undeveloped in your area, i completely agree that it should be there then.
We have group homes where I live. Very neat and clean, no issues.
(edited): I can see when rereading what I posted that people thought I meant shut them away.
Message edited 7/30/2009 10:31:09 AM.
|
| Posted 7/30/09 10:29 AM |
| |
|
neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by neener1211
When we bought our house, we had no idea that the house next to us was a group home. The sellers kept that information from us (and we later found out that they were moving partially because of the group home).
I went over to the house one day to introduce myself to all the 'kids' and they were so welcoming and happy to see their new neighbor. They all wave every morning, and say hello to our DS from across the lawns.
The workers do park their cars in front of our house sometimes, but usually it is only for an hour or two (could even be someone visiting).
I am happy to have the group home as a neighbor, they are so nice to us. 
SO glad to hear of a positive experience. In the end it will probably make your dc more open and accepting of others. Some people dont get the first hand experience of people who are different. I grew up with a sister that is MR and believe me it made us much more compassionate and empathetic individuals.
I hope so, I truly do.
I'll also add that I found out after we moved in that the owners of our house tried to get the house out of the neighborhood with petitions, would harrass the group home occupants, and would yell at the people living there to 'get back inside' so he didn't see them. (I know, horrible, just horrible). They had to put up a camera on their house bc he was trying to do things to make the house move. I was told by the director that when the 'kids' saw the seller's moving van pull up, then saw us moving in, they cheered.  They brought us cookies to welcome us to the neighborhood. It broke my heart that they were scared to play in their own yard and be outside. I told the director to make sure that when they see us outside, it is ok to say hello to us and our DS. Such sweet people, really. I can't believe anyone would be so ignorant.
|
| Posted 7/30/09 11:07 AM |
| |
|
sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by Nifheim
Oh no didn't mean complex. I mean like town homes/condo's or even detached homes where services are geared around them.
They have special needs, they need therapy, nurses, etc and if you centralize that it can be very beneficial. So you need room for that. Some neighborhoods simply do not have the space to build it. BUT if you have a section that is undeveloped in your area, i completely agree that it should be there then.
We have group homes where I live. Very neat and clean, no issues.
(edited): I can see when rereading what I posted that people thought I meant shut them away.
I guess i see what you mean. But, I can't hep thinking of Willowbook....
I used to go do speech therapy in the homes. Most of the therapist do go into the homes for therapy. I also worked at a clinic that had all of the therapies under one roof. The group homes simply made all of thier consumers appointments on one night and took the van full to the clinic. So they don't need to have the services on site. They go to work or day hab during the day and thier sevices at night. Just like you and I would if we had to go for PT or counseling. KWIM?
We try to give them the most normal life possible. It goes back to least restrictive environment. They SHOULD be able to go out each night. Or some nights. Staying in one area is very restrictive and isolating. Living in a normal home and going out for your services and being involved in a normal neighborhood is the least restrictive environment and the most normal. When dealing with the MR/DD population.. that is always our goal.
Does that make any sense?
Message edited 7/30/2009 1:29:23 PM.
|
| Posted 7/30/09 1:27 PM |
| |
|
sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by neener1211
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by neener1211
When we bought our house, we had no idea that the house next to us was a group home. The sellers kept that information from us (and we later found out that they were moving partially because of the group home).
I went over to the house one day to introduce myself to all the 'kids' and they were so welcoming and happy to see their new neighbor. They all wave every morning, and say hello to our DS from across the lawns.
The workers do park their cars in front of our house sometimes, but usually it is only for an hour or two (could even be someone visiting).
I am happy to have the group home as a neighbor, they are so nice to us.
SO glad to hear of a positive experience. In the end it will probably make your dc more open and accepting of others. Some people dont get the first hand experience of people who are different. I grew up with a sister that is MR and believe me it made us much more compassionate and empathetic individuals.
I hope so, I truly do.
I'll also add that I found out after we moved in that the owners of our house tried to get the house out of the neighborhood with petitions, would harrass the group home occupants, and would yell at the people living there to 'get back inside' so he didn't see them. (I know, horrible, just horrible). They had to put up a camera on their house bc he was trying to do things to make the house move. I was told by the director that when the 'kids' saw the seller's moving van pull up, then saw us moving in, they cheered. They brought us cookies to welcome us to the neighborhood. It broke my heart that they were scared to play in their own yard and be outside. I told the director to make sure that when they see us outside, it is ok to say hello to us and our DS. Such sweet people, really. I can't believe anyone would be so ignorant.
That just breaks my heart
|
| Posted 7/30/09 1:28 PM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Imagine if we had to leave because DS has "special needs". My neighboors have no idea DS has special needs. They are not in any danger because it. Such ignorance!
Am I supposed to sell my house so I don't worry my neighboors that DS will be at some point a teenager with special needs and maybe an adult with special needs? He may live with us all his life.
That maybe I should leave so I don't RUIN my neighborhood.
Unless someone has specific dangerous behaviors, please let's be understanding here.
We do have a lot of therapists coming to our house. Most people are working during those times. They don't take valuable parking places. They come in, they come out. They are gone by the time most people come home. It's only 1 therapist at a time.
DS is a VERY gentle kid. I have been asked SO MANY TIMES if he was aggresive. He is calm and gentle. He is the kid being "bullied" not the other way around. He does not hit kids, no bitting, no tantrums, etc.. He is such a good kid. He is more calm than a lot of typical children and those in daycare that parents here complain their kids came back from with teeth marks.
Message edited 7/30/2009 8:44:44 PM.
|
| Posted 7/30/09 8:43 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by smdl
Imagine if we had to leave because DS has "special needs". My neighboors have no idea DS has special needs. They are not in any danger because it. Such ignorance!
Am I supposed to sell my house so I don't worry my neighboors that DS will be at some point a teenager with special needs and maybe an adult with special needs? He may live with us all his life.
That maybe I should leave so I don't RUIN my neighborhood.
Unless someone has specific dangerous behaviors, please let's be understanding here.
We do have a lot of therapists coming to our house. Most people are working during those times. They don't take valuable parking places. They come in, they come out. They are gone by the time most people come home. It's only 1 therapist at a time.
DS is a VERY gentle kid. I have been asked SO MANY TIMES if he was aggresive. He is calm and gentle. He is the kid being "bullied" not the other way around. He does not hit kids, no bitting, no tantrums, etc.. He is such a good kid. He is more calm than a lot of typical children and those in daycare that parents here complain their kids came back from with teeth marks.
I Know what you mean
but the post really isnt created about individual situations bc I dont think a community would become uproared by a family with a special needs child living next door. My family lived with a special needs child and believe me everything was fine.
I think there is more to the situation. A group home is looked at as a business being plopped into their neighborhood. ALot more things going on in group care vs an individual family.
Truthfully speaking, I dont think it would be brought to the extent but I dont know that many people would want a childcare next door either. Who knows though...
|
| Posted 7/31/09 9:39 AM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by smdl
Imagine if we had to leave because DS has "special needs". My neighboors have no idea DS has special needs. They are not in any danger because it. Such ignorance!
Am I supposed to sell my house so I don't worry my neighboors that DS will be at some point a teenager with special needs and maybe an adult with special needs? He may live with us all his life.
That maybe I should leave so I don't RUIN my neighborhood.
Unless someone has specific dangerous behaviors, please let's be understanding here.
We do have a lot of therapists coming to our house. Most people are working during those times. They don't take valuable parking places. They come in, they come out. They are gone by the time most people come home. It's only 1 therapist at a time.
DS is a VERY gentle kid. I have been asked SO MANY TIMES if he was aggresive. He is calm and gentle. He is the kid being "bullied" not the other way around. He does not hit kids, no bitting, no tantrums, etc.. He is such a good kid. He is more calm than a lot of typical children and those in daycare that parents here complain their kids came back from with teeth marks.
I Know what you mean
but the post really isnt created about individual situations bc I dont think a community would become uproared by a family with a special needs child living next door. My family lived with a special needs child and believe me everything was fine.
I think there is more to the situation. A group home is looked at as a business being plopped into their neighborhood. ALot more things going on in group care vs an individual family.
Truthfully speaking, I dont think it would be brought to the extent but I dont know that many people would want a childcare next door either. Who knows though...
I was reponding to the "feeling" I had that some people are just thinking "here goes the neighborhood". KWIM?
Being MR or have autism (COMPLETELY unrelated BTW!!) does not mean you are going to attack people. I was really responding about that town hall meeting a poster mentioned. This IS the mentality of people in general though.
If a group home is concidered a place of "business" then they should not be placed in residential area. It's about zoning! Just like you don't want a daycare in your neighborhood. Those HAVE TO be approved by the township and meet the zoning code. Otherwise they are illegal. The township looks into your business, type, if it will be disruptive to the neighborhood.
|
| Posted 7/31/09 10:05 AM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by smdl
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by smdl
Imagine if we had to leave because DS has "special needs". My neighboors have no idea DS has special needs. They are not in any danger because it. Such ignorance!
Am I supposed to sell my house so I don't worry my neighboors that DS will be at some point a teenager with special needs and maybe an adult with special needs? He may live with us all his life.
That maybe I should leave so I don't RUIN my neighborhood.
Unless someone has specific dangerous behaviors, please let's be understanding here.
We do have a lot of therapists coming to our house. Most people are working during those times. They don't take valuable parking places. They come in, they come out. They are gone by the time most people come home. It's only 1 therapist at a time.
DS is a VERY gentle kid. I have been asked SO MANY TIMES if he was aggresive. He is calm and gentle. He is the kid being "bullied" not the other way around. He does not hit kids, no bitting, no tantrums, etc.. He is such a good kid. He is more calm than a lot of typical children and those in daycare that parents here complain their kids came back from with teeth marks.
I Know what you mean
but the post really isnt created about individual situations bc I dont think a community would become uproared by a family with a special needs child living next door. My family lived with a special needs child and believe me everything was fine.
I think there is more to the situation. A group home is looked at as a business being plopped into their neighborhood. ALot more things going on in group care vs an individual family.
Truthfully speaking, I dont think it would be brought to the extent but I dont know that many people would want a childcare next door either. Who knows though...
I was reponding to the "feeling" I had that some people are just thinking "here goes the neighborhood". KWIM?
Being MR or have autism (COMPLETELY unrelated BTW!!) does not mean you are going to attack people. I was really responding about that town hall meeting a poster mentioned. This IS the mentality of people in general though.
If a group home is concidered a place of "business" then they should not be placed in residential area. It's about zoning! Just like you don't want a daycare in your neighborhood. Those HAVE TO be approved by the township and meet the zoning code. Otherwise they are illegal. The township looks into your business, type, if it will be disruptive to the neighborhood.
Just wondering...
If people are getting paid on the premisis doesnt it become a place of business?
|
| Posted 7/31/09 10:40 AM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: We run a parent support group at my job for parents of children with MR/DD
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by smdl
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by smdl
Imagine if we had to leave because DS has "special needs". My neighboors have no idea DS has special needs. They are not in any danger because it. Such ignorance!
Am I supposed to sell my house so I don't worry my neighboors that DS will be at some point a teenager with special needs and maybe an adult with special needs? He may live with us all his life.
That maybe I should leave so I don't RUIN my neighborhood.
Unless someone has specific dangerous behaviors, please let's be understanding here.
We do have a lot of therapists coming to our house. Most people are working during those times. They don't take valuable parking places. They come in, they come out. They are gone by the time most people come home. It's only 1 therapist at a time.
DS is a VERY gentle kid. I have been asked SO MANY TIMES if he was aggresive. He is calm and gentle. He is the kid being "bullied" not the other way around. He does not hit kids, no bitting, no tantrums, etc.. He is such a good kid. He is more calm than a lot of typical children and those in daycare that parents here complain their kids came back from with teeth marks.
I Know what you mean
but the post really isnt created about individual situations bc I dont think a community would become uproared by a family with a special needs child living next door. My family lived with a special needs child and believe me everything was fine.
I think there is more to the situation. A group home is looked at as a business being plopped into their neighborhood. ALot more things going on in group care vs an individual family.
Truthfully speaking, I dont think it would be brought to the extent but I dont know that many people would want a childcare next door either. Who knows though...
I was reponding to the "feeling" I had that some people are just thinking "here goes the neighborhood". KWIM?
Being MR or have autism (COMPLETELY unrelated BTW!!) does not mean you are going to attack people. I was really responding about that town hall meeting a poster mentioned. This IS the mentality of people in general though.
If a group home is concidered a place of "business" then they should not be placed in residential area. It's about zoning! Just like you don't want a daycare in your neighborhood. Those HAVE TO be approved by the township and meet the zoning code. Otherwise they are illegal. The township looks into your business, type, if it will be disruptive to the neighborhood.
Just wondering...
If people are getting paid on the premisis doesnt it become a place of business?
yes it does and your township will most likely tell you that you need a permit.
|
| Posted 7/31/09 10:45 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] |
