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Lina027
LIF Infant
Member since 8/10 331 total posts
Name:
Lina
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Wedding invitation opinion
ok it's a catholic ceremony.
Couple wants the ceremony private for immediate family only but reception is formal, normal 150 people celebration. The couple wants it private bc they see it as a sacrament, special, and they want it about their union before God, not ab the showy display with half the people not wanting to be there anyway. I totally get this but many are "offended" thinking they should not be excluded. What do you all think? Is it tacky or offensive?
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Posted 10/10/11 11:28 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
It's different... I don't find it tacky, but I could see feeling put out if I were really close to the couple. Knowing that they consider the ceremony so special and sacred, the fact that they didn't want me there to witness the most important part of the day could lead to hurt feelings.
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| Posted 10/10/11 11:38 AM |
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Lina027
LIF Infant
Member since 8/10 331 total posts
Name:
Lina
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Yea exactly.. there's that fine line. That's why I was recommending a destination wedding to def keep it private but she wants the church sacrament.
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| Posted 10/10/11 11:42 AM |
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nicopico13
that year flew!
Member since 11/09 3008 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
not everyone comes to the church anyway and I think it's rude to tell people you don't want them at the church especially when that is really what the wedding is about isn't it. I do find it tacky it's like saying "I only want important people at the church to witness our commitment, but you can come to the party and give us a gift"
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| Posted 10/10/11 11:54 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by nicopico13
not everyone comes to the church anyway and I think it's rude to tell people you don't want them at the church especially when that is really what the wedding is about isn't it. I do find it tacky it's like saying "I only want important people at the church to witness our commitment, but you can come to the party and give us a gift"
Agreed. This will definitely lead to drama and hurt feelings. Not worth it, imo.
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| Posted 10/10/11 1:19 PM |
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MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 7/09 4671 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by nicopico13
not everyone comes to the church anyway and I think it's rude to tell people you don't want them at the church especially when that is really what the wedding is about isn't it. I do find it tacky it's like saying "I only want important people at the church to witness our commitment, but you can come to the party and give us a gift"
ITA, you have a wedding reception to celebrate the wedding that took place. IMO it's not fair to ask people to come to the party and give a gift but exclude them from the actual reason for the party.
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| Posted 10/10/11 1:25 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Unless there is a true space issue, I think it's rude to exclude people from the ceremony but then invite them to the party. I am sure some people excluded from the ceremony will feel like the invite to the reception is just a gift grab.
And if it's in a church, how will they keep out unwanted people? I always felt that ceremonies in the church are community affairs in that they are not strictly limited to people invited. I don't go crashing weddings on a regular basis but I have attended wedding ceremonies of people I knew to see them get married even though I wasn't invited to the wedding (like friends' younger siblings, people I grew up with in my building sort of thing) and I know lots of people that have done the same thing.
Message edited 10/10/2011 1:27:30 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/11 1:25 PM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by nicopico13
not everyone comes to the church anyway and I think it's rude to tell people you don't want them at the church especially when that is really what the wedding is about isn't it. I do find it tacky it's like saying "I only want important people at the church to witness our commitment, but you can come to the party and give us a gift"
i totally agree.
and as a bride you are so nervous and in a fog that day that you dont even notice who is at the church.
if she wants a private ceremony- go get married a few days earlier -..then renew in front of everyone...
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| Posted 10/10/11 1:55 PM |
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Lina027
LIF Infant
Member since 8/10 331 total posts
Name:
Lina
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by MrsDeVito
Posted by nicopico13
not everyone comes to the church anyway and I think it's rude to tell people you don't want them at the church especially when that is really what the wedding is about isn't it. I do find it tacky it's like saying "I only want important people at the church to witness our commitment, but you can come to the party and give us a gift"
ITA, you have a wedding reception to celebrate the wedding that took place. IMO it's not fair to ask people to come to the party and give a gift but exclude them from the actual reason for the party.
I agree!!
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| Posted 10/10/11 2:04 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by nicopico13
not everyone comes to the church anyway and I think it's rude to tell people you don't want them at the church especially when that is really what the wedding is about isn't it. I do find it tacky it's like saying "I only want important people at the church to witness our commitment, but you can come to the party and give us a gift"
Agreed. This will definitely lead to drama and hurt feelings. Not worth it, imo.
So agree with this, if I were only invited to the reception, I would stick it up their ***'s and decline the invite...
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| Posted 10/10/11 2:22 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Tacky.
Want a small intimate private wedding, thats FINE... but don't tell people that they are good enough for the reception and to give a gift, but not to witness the actual reason FOR the reception.
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| Posted 10/10/11 2:24 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Tacky.
Want a small intimate private wedding, thats FINE... but don't tell people that they are good enough for the reception and to give a gift, but not to witness the actual reason FOR the reception.
I agree with this except I don't only think it's tacky, I think it's VERY rude.
Message edited 10/10/2011 2:51:23 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/11 2:50 PM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
It's just rude, plain and simple.
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| Posted 10/10/11 4:14 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Posted by JessInCA
It's different... I don't find it tacky, but I could see feeling put out if I were really close to the couple. Knowing that they consider the ceremony so special and sacred, the fact that they didn't want me there to witness the most important part of the day could lead to hurt feelings.
I agree, tacky is not the right word. And also I sort of don't get why you would not want all your friends and family to witness the sacrament of marriage. If you are close enough with me to break bread at my wedding you are close enough to say I do. I mean heck I have been to weddings where I am not close enough to be invited to the reception but friendly with the person/couple and want to wish them well and see them exchange vows.
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| Posted 10/10/11 5:48 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Well I think it is unusual. Usually the ceremony is the important part of the wedding and the reception is considered just the bonus. You ask someone to come and celebrate your marriage not your party. The ceremony IS the wedding not the reception. I know many people who would be hurt if someone came to their reception and didn't come to the ceremony. But when push comes to shove it is the bride and grooms day and ultimately their choice. If guests do not like it then it is their right to say they are unable to attend.
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| Posted 10/10/11 7:00 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
I think one way to avoid some of the drama is holding the ceremony and reception on different days. Is this an option?
I think a lot of people will be upset about this.
The only time I have heard of something like this is a relative who is Mormon and married in the church, as non Mormon's, we were not allowed to enter. She held a celebration party like a week later for friends and family. But this was different since it was the church's rules, not her personal desires.
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| Posted 10/10/11 7:25 PM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
Tack central.
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| Posted 10/11/11 11:25 AM |
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jlk51496
Mom of 3 - YIKES! =)
Member since 10/09 6758 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
the wedding is the ceremony...the reception is "just" a party...I feel awful when I don't go to the church or place where the wedding is..and just go to the reception..I feel like I am missing out on the actual wedding.
I def think people would be offended
I don't know why the couple would want such a joyous occasion to be so secretive/private and not celebrate with loved ones surrounding them.. Not to mention filling up a big empty church (if that is where they are having it) with people would make me feel more comfy and loved! 
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| Posted 10/11/11 11:39 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
It's unorthodox for how things are done in my family but to each his own...
I think this couple is a bit nutty to even give it so much thought...
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| Posted 10/11/11 11:45 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
I think it is rude. I think the church and the sacrament is the most important part. I would look at it this way - if I'm not important enough to you to witness the wedding then I'm not needed to be at the reception.
If she wants a small intimate ceremony at the church then she should have a small reception.
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| Posted 10/11/11 11:46 AM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
This happened to me recently. A friend who lives OOS told me the plans for his wedding.
Ceremony would take place at their house, with guests there-but they would be alone, no one would witness it. Then party to follow at a bar.
I was put off. I see the ceremony as the important part and I felt like I was being invited to a party (who cares), but not to witness the whole reason for me traveling?
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| Posted 10/11/11 11:58 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
RUDE.
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| Posted 10/11/11 12:54 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
I think it's wrong to tell people they are not wanted at the ceremony, but are welcome at the reception. The ceremony is the most important part. Why wouldn't you want to share that with everyone? JMHO
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| Posted 10/11/11 1:07 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
I think it's very rude!
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| Posted 10/11/11 1:51 PM |
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MySunshine
In love with my Baby Boy
Member since 3/11 2783 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding invitation opinion
It's definitely different. If they want a "private" ceremony then I would hope the invitation only includes the reception portion. To ME the ceremony is the most important part so it's weird that they find 150 guest close enough to celebrate with but not close enough to witness the union.
If the invitation says ceremony for family only or something like that- I would think it is a bit rude.
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| Posted 10/11/11 2:40 PM |
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