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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name: Janice
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Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I never was...but I have spanked mine. My mother was a yeller. I am not. Easier for me to wack
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Posted 7/13/13 6:56 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name: Mama Cranky
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by libby2595
Posted by want2bemom
Posted by BellyBlessings
Sure was and absolutely - when necessary
ITA!
that
my kid is 18. i hope i never have to do it again... but he knows i will if i have to.
YOu would seriously spank an 18 year old? He is an adult, how does that even work?
In answer to the OP-I was slapped 1 or 2x as a kid that I can recall. My brothers-that is a different story.
I do not believe in hitting, so that's a big no from me. I do not hit my kids. ever. I also don't yell. I am big on time outs, going to bed really early, other stuff.
Most of the time, when I've seen parents spank it is because they are out of control in response to their kids being out of control. I can see how that can happen. It's the same reason people yell.
Things are not all peaches and cream at my house but I just have not had and have not seen any examples of when hitting or yelling has helped.
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Posted 7/13/13 7:56 PM |
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Kathy042806
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 1416 total posts
Name: Kathy
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I was and I won't do it
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Posted 7/13/13 8:13 PM |
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Crunchewy
LIF Adult
Member since 10/08 1232 total posts
Name: A
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
No and definitely NO!
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Posted 7/13/13 8:25 PM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by meloyellow
I was beaten. Bloody noses, belt marks across my back and bottom, stomped by my dad with his timberland construction boots on, choked, spanked with my underwear pulled down etc.
I always swore I wouldn't spank my kids when i got older.
I have a son now. I have spanked him (not full on spanking...but a swat to the diapered toosh when he kept climbing on and dancing on the dining room table after i said no, did time out, threatened to go to bed early) I only tried it bc nothing else was working. That didn't work either and it didn't make me feel good so I don't do it.
I feel that for me, spanking did not work. It only made me want to be sneakier so i wouldn't get caught. It didn't address the behavior. This is what I try to keep in mind when parenting my son. I have no magic answers as to what does work...but I know that for me spanking didn't work and it only excalated as a way for my parents to get their frustrations out...not as a way to teach me.
You were not "spanked" as the definition that the PP's were using in this post. I think everyone was talking about a pop on the tush, your father took it a step or five further.
I feel there is a time and place for certain types of dscipline. I dont judge those who do or those who do not. Every child is different and you do what works for you and your kid.
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Posted 7/13/13 8:32 PM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by meloyellow
I was beaten. Bloody noses, belt marks across my back and bottom, stomped by my dad with his timberland construction boots on, choked, spanked with my underwear pulled down etc.
I always swore I wouldn't spank my kids when i got older.
I have a son now. I have spanked him (not full on spanking...but a swat to the diapered toosh when he kept climbing on and dancing on the dining room table after i said no, did time out, threatened to go to bed early) I only tried it bc nothing else was working. That didn't work either and it didn't make me feel good so I don't do it.
I feel that for me, spanking did not work. It only made me want to be sneakier so i wouldn't get caught. It didn't address the behavior. This is what I try to keep in mind when parenting my son. I have no magic answers as to what does work...but I know that for me spanking didn't work and it only excalated as a way for my parents to get their frustrations out...not as a way to teach me.
I'm sorry you weren't spanked, you were abused.
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Posted 7/13/13 8:57 PM |
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gdubs
This baby is awesome!
Member since 11/10 2467 total posts
Name: Gina
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I was never hit... only ever smacked twice... Once when I was 8 and I called my mom a b*tch and once when I was 16 and I called my dad an asshole. I'm going to say I deserved both of those.
I personally don't believe in spanking.
Message edited 7/13/2013 10:53:51 PM.
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Posted 7/13/13 9:04 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name: me
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I wasn't spanked regularly, maybe here & there, it wasn't that memorable.... But honestly my mom took out her anger at me verbally instead & I think it was worse.... I think she was verbally abusive looking back on it... she would say some terrible things that were definitely undeserved... so that was her way of scaring me & I hated her for it.
But anyway, I think spanking can be useful to a degree to teach a lesson but not beatings or anything that would cause lasting pain.
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Posted 7/13/13 9:09 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name: Mama Cranky
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by drpepper318
I wasn't spanked regularly, maybe here & there, it wasn't that memorable.... But honestly my mom took out her anger at me verbally instead & I think it was worse.... I think she was verbally abusive looking back on it... she would say some terrible things that were definitely undeserved... so that was her way of scaring me & I hated her for it.
But anyway, I think spanking can be useful to a degree to teach a lesson but not beatings or anything that would cause lasting pain.
I think this is a slippery slope. The verbal abuse you experience was horrible such that a spanking would have been better. But, that doesn't mean that spanking would have actually been better-who knows. Had you been spanked you might be sitting here saying that spanking was horrible you would have preferred harsh words.
I don't meant to pick on you, I'm just trying to point out that we shouldn't think about punishments in comparison to how we each grew up, we should think about it specific to our children and what would be most effective.
Hell, by the time my kids are grown they will probably be saying that they wish I would have just swatted them rather than send them to bed at 6:30 when they acted up.
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Posted 7/13/13 9:20 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
No and no. Neither was my dh and we are both upstanding citizens(IMO). I could never physically hurt my child.
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Posted 7/13/13 9:22 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name: Me
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by libby2595
Posted by want2bemom
Posted by BellyBlessings
Sure was and absolutely - when necessary
ITA!
that
my kid is 18. i hope i never have to do it again... but he knows i will if i have to.
YOu would seriously spank an 18 year old? He is an adult, how does that even work?
In answer to the OP-I was slapped 1 or 2x as a kid that I can recall. My brothers-that is a different story.
I do not believe in hitting, so that's a big no from me. I do not hit my kids. ever. I also don't yell. I am big on time outs, going to bed really early, other stuff.
Most of the time, when I've seen parents spank it is because they are out of control in response to their kids being out of control. I can see how that can happen. It's the same reason people yell.
Things are not all peaches and cream at my house but I just have not had and have not seen any examples of when hitting or yelling has helped. .
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Posted 7/13/13 9:27 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Or, sometimes kids are out of control in response to their parents being out of control. Many times aggressive kids were physically hit. I don't count once in awhile, but on a regular basis.
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Posted 7/13/13 9:37 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name: Stacey
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by BabyLove08
No and no. I believe there are other ways to handle discipline, I am against spanking.
ITA
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Posted 7/13/13 9:54 PM |
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I was spanked and my hair was pulled, or should I say huge chunks of my hair were ripped out with huge bruises on my scalp left behind. They would sometimes grab my hair and swing my head against the wall. It would be for something stupid like spilling milk.
I don't think this was affective for me. I distinctly remember thinking that what was happening didn't make sense and that they must be mentally ill.
I haven't and have no plans to spank my children. It doesn't mean that a situation won't ever come up to warrant a spank on the tush in a severe situation. I am not sure i would be able to with the bad childhood memories it brings me. I would not take it further than that though.
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Posted 7/13/13 10:15 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
we both were, we both refuse to
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Posted 7/13/13 10:33 PM |
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I was beaten severely. I will never hit my child. When he was little and ran into the parking lot I smacked his hand, but that was it.
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Posted 7/13/13 10:36 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name: Maureen
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Yes and Yes.
Honestly I don't spank often but I will do it when they have put themselves in danger..sometimes verbal warnings/yelling and time outs do not get the message across but a whack on the butt certainly does. I did not have any lasting damage from an occasional spank, and I know my kids don't. I don't view a spank on the bottom as anything awful.
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Posted 7/13/13 10:42 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name: Danielle
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Yes and I'm sure I will when necessary - I'm not a mom yet, I will be in September. But I'm sure - I appreciate my parents for the way they raised me, how they raised me, and I feel that I am the person I am today because of that. I can't thank them enough for how they parented and I think they are excellent examples and I hope I can parent as well as they parented myself and my siblings. I'm so glad they were on the stricter side, I'm so thankful that they held me to a higher standard and did not allow any of the shit I tried to pull lol.
Message edited 7/13/2013 10:45:36 PM.
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Posted 7/13/13 10:44 PM |
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Yes and no
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Posted 7/13/13 11:02 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Yes, I was spanked. I don't feel like I ever learned a lesson, it just pissed me off and hurt my feelings that my parents would raise a hand to me. It made me feel small and afraid. I hated that feeling. I NEVER wanted to spank my kids and make them feel the way I did when I was spanked. I've smacked my DD's hand once or twice out of frustration and honestly, I felt SO guilty. The hurt look on her face killed me. I felt like an awful mom and I vowed to never do it again.
Spanking serves ONE purpose, it gives you (the parent) and outlet for your frustration and anger in that moment. Spanking won't deter poor behavior, it won't "teach kids a lesson"..............it just makes your child feel small and inferior. I don't want to make my kids feel that way so I don't spank. Frustrated as I might be at times I try to relax and take a breath and handle the situation in a more appropriate manner.
To each his own but for me, spanking my kids would make me feel like a terrible parent. I would feel so awful and guilty if I spanked my kids so I just won't do it.
Message edited 7/13/2013 11:31:52 PM.
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Posted 7/13/13 11:31 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Yes, and Im not scarred from it, AT ALL, but no, I would not.
Message edited 7/13/2013 11:31:30 PM.
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Posted 7/13/13 11:31 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
No. I think it's stupid to teach that violence is somehow a solution to anything.
The few times I gave my kid a swat it was because I was out of control. I felt myself being pushed and could not effectively deal with it.
Also anything like over the knee spanking is imo sexual and CREEPY.
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Posted 7/13/13 11:44 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name: me
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by drpepper318
I wasn't spanked regularly, maybe here & there, it wasn't that memorable.... But honestly my mom took out her anger at me verbally instead & I think it was worse.... I think she was verbally abusive looking back on it... she would say some terrible things that were definitely undeserved... so that was her way of scaring me & I hated her for it.
But anyway, I think spanking can be useful to a degree to teach a lesson but not beatings or anything that would cause lasting pain.
I think this is a slippery slope. The verbal abuse you experience was horrible such that a spanking would have been better. But, that doesn't mean that spanking would have actually been better-who knows. Had you been spanked you might be sitting here saying that spanking was horrible you would have preferred harsh words.
I don't meant to pick on you, I'm just trying to point out that we shouldn't think about punishments in comparison to how we each grew up, we should think about it specific to our children and what would be most effective.
Hell, by the time my kids are grown they will probably be saying that they wish I would have just swatted them rather than send them to bed at 6:30 when they acted up.
Actually to set the record straight I NEVER said that beating would have been a better alternative than being cursed at or screamed at.... I was just making the point that a parent's demeanor & verbal assaults can be JUST AS hurtful psychologically or more so than the physical pain of being spanked... even though a parent might avoid using physical punishment they can still mess up their kid by the things they say to them or how they say it..... I never said I wish I had been beaten instead.
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Posted 7/13/13 11:54 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
I was spanked, it didn't traumatized me.
I did experience other things at the hand of a parent that traumatized me.
I don't see spanking as abuse, I may or may not spank depending on the situation but as a last resort if need be I can't say no for aure
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Posted 7/14/13 12:34 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Were you spanked as a kid? Will you spank yours?
Posted by LastLightGlow
I was spanked and my hair was pulled, or should I say huge chunks of my hair were ripped out with huge bruises on my scalp left behind. They would sometimes grab my hair and swing my head against the wall. It would be for something stupid like spilling milk.
I don't think this was affective for me. I distinctly remember thinking that what was happening didn't make sense and that they must be mentally ill.
I haven't and have no plans to spank my children. It doesn't mean that a situation won't ever come up to warrant a spank on the tush in a severe situation. I am not sure i would be able to with the bad childhood memories it brings me. I would not take it further than that though.
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Posted 7/14/13 12:36 AM |
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