When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

So, I've been looking further out east than I had planned until my mom mentioned to me, "Well, he won't be 2 forever, you know...He will soon be going to preschool or kindergarten, and who will pick him up?"

Basically, my schedule is screwy and I work later than 5..much later.
DH works until 11 pm at night.

My mom figured she'd pick up DS from preschool, etc, and watch him until I pick him up at her home...but obviously she doesn't want to schlep 30 minutes away to get him, you know?

How many of you have had to limit your town choices due to this kind of situation?

Any regrets/advice?

Message edited 1/24/2010 11:24:28 PM.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

I dont....since I am a SAHM. It would be nice to be near family for emergencies, etc but we are not going to limit based on this. We just want to live our life. We do however have to keep commute to DHs job in mind. So that limits us.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

i just moved from lindy to wantagh for this exact reason. all of our family is in nassau county. going out and doing things is like a major issue. "mom, are you available for an hour on friday?"
now it's "mom, i need to run out for a few minutes, can i drop the kids off?"

it's so much easier. however, they do "drop by" unannounced which we don't exactly appreciate...

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

Yes, when we bought our first home we chose to live near each of our parents and it really has been a blessing. We live within 5 minutes of my parents and 10 minutes away from my in-lawns.

We count on them for numerous things (i.e., signing for packages, waiting for a repairman, etc.) and now that we have DD, both my mom and MIlL watch her and it's great that they are close.

However, now we're thinking about where to look for our next house (in a couple of years) and although we want to stay close, the prices in Nassau are just way out of control for the type of "next level" house we want, so we're having a hard time deciding on whether to stay in Nassau or go a little bit east in Suffolk, but I think we will stay within a 15-20 minute ride of each of our parent's houses.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

Yes, we chose to stay close to my parents so the kids can see them more often (and so they can help out in emergencies). It is very helpful!

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We bought the house next door from my parents. This was a major reason why we did.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

HAD to...No.

We bought our first house in Centereach - 20 + minutes from any family. We sold after about 2.5 years and wanted to buy close to DH's family.

I wanted to start a family in a few years, and I knew that I would have to work at least PT. My ILs also made it clear they would help us with child care. My mom is deceased and my dad is great with kids but nervous with babies. So I knew if I didnt use Day Care, my ILs were my option.

SO we CHOSE to be close. We live about 3 miles from them and I love it. I am currently a SAHM but I often go to their house just to hang out during the week. Or if I need to run to do something without DS I know they are there for me! Also we live within about 12 minutes of both of DH's brothers and their families as well which we love.

No one told us where to buy but it was probably more than 50% of reason we were choosing to move.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

I did but i wanted to stay in my hometown. I do not have a child and we might start trying mid/end next year since Dh will be 38 this year (i am going to be 31), my mom offered to help out one day a week but i know they drive out 2.5 hours to babysit my brothers kids and its such a PIA. So if we ever need a babysitter its a 2 minute drive for us or them.

Plus we are located in a village near a pond/park, also where they have lots of activities for families, etc.

If you are really relying on grandparents i would really try to stay near them. One thing that kills my parents is that most of time driving back and forth going to my brothers house when they could of spent it with the grandkids. Also, they don't like having to stop everything if there is a emergency to track out there.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

Didn't HAVE to, but I chose to to make it easier on myself b/c my mom watches DS p/t while I work in the office (I WFH the other days). I drop him off and pick him up at her house, so it would have made our lives much more difficult to move further away from her (luckily, she lives in the same town where I work).

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

I am due with my first child in 2 weeks and we are set to close on our house in 3 weeks! When looking at houses, we narrowed it down to 2 towns that were within 10 minutes from my parents. My mom will be watching 3 days a week when I go back from work. I really wanted to keep things easier for both of us which is why we moved that close. Also, because DH and I both work in Manhattan, we wanted to stay in Western Nassau County - which conveniently is where my parents live! I think if we had different jobs (i.e. different hours or a different commute), we may have considered areas a little further away, but for our purposes, this makes the both sense. I'll let you know how it goes!!!

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We are in the same boat. We rent right now. DH's schedule is all over the place and I don't get home until 6:15 the earliest. We can't afford to buy in the same town as my parents but we need to be close to them and I also commute to the city.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

I really didn't want to consider living far away from my parents for this reason. My parents watch my son while I'm at work.

We didn't HAVE to live 10 minutes away, but I knew how much I'd value having my parents close to me.

We tossed around the idea of moving out east, but I always fought against it.

Once my son starts school, he'll probably be in before and after care. But while he's still and infant, I really like the convenience of being close to my parents.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

Definitely! We only looked in my neighborhood since the only way we can afford a house is if I can work and my mom watches the baby. Now, we are actually staying in the same house so its perfect!

My sister was supposed to move to PA and my brother was supposed to move to CT but they both never made the move for the same reason - not for every day care just help when they need it.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

we plan on staying close to my BF family...his mom or aunt will be watching our future childern- they have been talking about it since we started dating! I feel so lucky- since I have no close family- but a flexible job where full time daycare isn't really needed

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We hope to do the opposite... We don't have kids yet, but my plan is to get my mom out of Queens and close by our house.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We chose to stay close - not b/c we HAD to, but b/c we wanted to, and b/c it just happend to work out that way ( we both work in NYC and didnt' want a commute longer than X town........so we wouldn't have been far anyway)

My parents don't watch my son exclusively, he goes to daycare - but it's ncie when we want to go out on a Sat night, if if I need to run some errands etc - I would feel really guilty asking them to babysit if they had to drive far .......

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

my inlaws are in a very expensive area in Queens. we have a condo now, but need a home. we simply can not afford a 750K house, even if I am working and they are watching DC's for free. we have to move to nassau so I will be SAHM bc no Inlaws to watch and I'm not paying for daycare. I would love for them to move but they would never

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We didn't have to, but wanted to live close to DH's family. We bought in the same town as his sister and his parent's live 5 towns over.

The in-laws don't watch DD, but sometimes it comes up. Like twice DD was sick at daycare. We both work in the city and SIL works from home. She was able to get DD right away until we could get home. It also makes it convenient if they need to baby-sit at night. They are close enough that it is not a big deal.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We actually really limited our search because we wanted to be close to my parents (I was 3 months pregnant when we started looking).

We live 1 mile from my parents and it has been wonderful!!! I don't think I could have done it without them so close.

My mom & dad watch our DS now (7AM-6:45PM) and it's so easy to just drop him off on our way to the train. This morning it was raining and DS STTN for the 1st time and we felt bad waking him up so I called my mom and she came over instead (called her 20 minutes before we usually drop him off). And my parents always watch him if we need to run out etc and it never takes more than a few minutes to coordinate and have it happen.

Also, I think about school and pre-k and it would be great if they could pick him up bc we both work. And lastly, when i think about having a 2nd child, i like knowing my parents are close and can "save" me if i need help. They did when DS was born and when I needed to take DS to the Dr. unexpectedly and we only had one car which DH would take.

All in all, it has been amazing. When we were looking sometimes it got frustrating bc we were limited and sometimes i got that feeling taht i just wanted to be farther and more on my own if that makes sense but looking back, it was one of the best decisions we made. And, i love our house.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

Yes we moved all the way east near my sister's house so my mom could watch both our kids even though my husband has a 1 hr commute everyday to the Bronx. You do what you have to for them.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

We bought our house 2 years before we even started having children. Both sets of parents are not active, daily in my children's lives and we have had no problem. My children have gone to after-care when they got to school and camp.
I wouldn't have chosen a place to live by where family lived.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

After reading all these posts, I have to tell you how LUCKY most of you are to HAVE family close and available. We don't have that and have been raising our kids, the majority of their lives, by ourselves.

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

I just bought a house 7 houses down the block from my parents. I'm sooo happy that they are close. I already told them dont just show up..lol... call me first.. ;)

Re: When looking to buy a home...did you have to stay close to grandparents so they could watch your DC?

If we were still on the island, then I would have loved to live close to my family. Unfortunately, we live upstate and the house we bought is actually 30 minutes further away then our apartment was. (But we are closer to work, which we obviously travel to more frequently).

When we do have children, we will have to look into daycare or me staying home for a period of time.