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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Do you help do the dishes?
I was taught by my mom not only to always bring something (like a dessert), but to always help clean up.
I had DH's family over for dinner and my SIL and her niece just sat there at the table while my DH and I cleared the table and did the dishes. I was a bit miffed, but wondering if I am off-base here.....
ETA: I can see maybe not doing the dishes, but they didn't even bring their plates in. That would have helped alot.
Message edited 6/30/2010 1:23:52 PM.
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Posted 6/30/10 1:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I usually ask what I can do, but most of the time, our friends clean once we leave.
I clean right away and prefer no help... it gets done faster and I don't want to put my guests to work.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:20 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by KGools
I usually ask what I can do, but most of the time, our friends clean once we leave.
I clean right away and prefer no help... it gets done faster and I don't want to put my guests to work.
ditto!
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:21 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by leighdvm
Do you help do the dishes?
I was taught by my mom not only to always bring something (like a dessert), but to always help clean up.
I had DH's family over for dinner and my SIL and her niece just sat there at the table while my DH and I cleared the table and did the dishes. I was a bit miffed, but wondering if I am off-base here.....
I was taught the same. Even my kids know if they go to to someone's house, they need to clear their plate & will be in trouble if I find out any differently.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:21 PM |
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Sherwood
LIF Adult
Member since 8/08 1643 total posts
Name:
s
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
Message edited 6/30/2010 1:23:12 PM.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:22 PM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes.
same here- I actually think its nicer to spend time with my guests and worry about the dishes later
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:23 PM |
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Mrs007
Im obsessed w my lil man!
Member since 3/09 2528 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Always at least clear the table and if they need help with the dishes, then I will help. But most people throw the dishes in the dishwasher anyway. I usually clear while the hostess is filling the dishwasher.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:32 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
As a guest, I help clear and carry stuff into the kitchen.
In my house because my kitchen is small and galley style, I clear myself and stack a load in the dishwasher while I'm putting up the coffee. I won't turn on the dishwasher or wash anything until everyone leaves.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:33 PM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
So most people will bring their dishes in, that's what I kinda thought but wasn't sure.....I was so exhausted, too (taking care of my twins all day, etc.) that I could have used some assistance. Thanks, ladies....
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:34 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always tend to help clean up dishes...usually the host tells me to stop or we just put them in kitchen and then go back to the party.
However, I don't mind or get annoyed if people don't help me at my own home because I want my guests to enjoy themselves and not worry about cleaning.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:37 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
i usually ask what i can do.
honestly, when my MIL or others are at my house, i F*** hate when she tries to get her way into the kitchen and do ****. b/c i have my system, do it fast, and get it done.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:40 PM |
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TreAnt427
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Member since 8/06 8652 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always help clean up, because I know I appreciate when people do the same at my house.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:46 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
if i go to someones house they usually start cleaning up while im still sitting at the table. thats when i usually tell them not to worry ill take care of it. get my asss up and take the plate to the kitchen. them ill ask if i can help with anything else.
when people come to my house i rather they not help. if they dont offer it doesn bother me at all
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:52 PM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes.
same here- I actually think its nicer to spend time with my guests and worry about the dishes later
this is what i learned from my mother.
i also hate to see certain people stay seated and watch everyone else do all the clearing off the table.
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| Posted 6/30/10 1:55 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I often ask. Some people have a certain way of cleaning, and if you "help", you could create more work for them than if you didn't help at all.
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:10 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by GoldenRod
I often ask. Some people have a certain way of cleaning, and if you "help", you could create more work for them than if you didn't help at all.
That's how I feel. I actually think it's really awkward when a friend of mine tries to do the dishes at my house. I certainly appreciate the gesture, but as a hostess it makes me feel weird to have someone else in my kitchen with my domestic stuff doing my "chore."
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:17 PM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I was always taught to do that too.
Some people just have no manners.
I hosted thanksgiving at my house 8 months preggo and not only did DHs family not help clean up one bit they alos wanted to be served (i had a buffet set-up) Some people are just so rude!
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:25 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
I feel the same way. It actually bothers me if someone starts to wash my dishes.
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:27 PM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
Same here.
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:34 PM |
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I help clear but I don't actually do the dishes. I personally hate when people try to do my dishes. I am very particular about the dishes and I use scalding hot water and rubber gloves. People don't usually clean in hot enough water for my taste, so I just tell them not to worry and I'll do it later. If people do my dishes, I end up doing them over myself 
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:52 PM |
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Andrewz00
Look! I changed it!
Member since 4/10 1789 total posts
Name:
Andrew
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by JP826
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
Same here.
ITA!
ive ALWAYS been taught that i eat what i take and i always help clear the table!
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:54 PM |
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Finally1108
My two boys
Member since 12/08 3541 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I will help bring things into the kitchen and ask if they need anything else.
When people are at my house, they always ask if i need any help. i usually let them help me clear the table and then the girls will chit chat in the kitchen while the men either have a cigar or watch TV. Since we are BSing anyway, i dont mind loading the dishwasher or doing the dishes while my guests are still over
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| Posted 6/30/10 2:55 PM |
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bellarina
She's my dancing queen!
Member since 5/05 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always bring something- salad, dessert, wine etc..
as for help- I guess my friends and I feel very comfortable with eachother because it's not even a though that we wouldn't help eachother serve and clean up.... meaning we just do and know eachother's kitchens so there's no asking "where does this go" or "what shall I do".... when I go to someone's house that I don't know so well I will ask them what I should do and if they say nothing, the least I will do is carry in the dishes to clear the table. I do believe that you can get in the way in the kitchen if you don't know your host well and the kitchen well. I don't expect my guests (especailly if we don't know eachother well) to pitch in, but clearing the table is a huge help!
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| Posted 6/30/10 3:24 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
When I'm at someone's house, I'll help clean up the table. I don't get offended if my guests don't help me. They are guests in my house, I didn't ask them to clean up. I do get annoyed if I have to remind DH to get off his arse to help me.
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| Posted 6/30/10 3:26 PM |
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christinec2010
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 637 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always bring something when I am invited to someones house.
As far as helping to clean up, my mom always told me to offer to help but never go ahead & just start doing it.
I clean right away and prefer no help... it gets done faster and I don't want to put my guests to work.
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| Posted 6/30/10 3:39 PM |
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