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blondiebabyZ
Ohhhh yeaaahh!!
Member since 6/10 1033 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
All etiquette is to bring something and help clean. But sometimes I have been in circumstances where my friends or fam will start cleaning the table before some people sitting at the table are even done conversing. So I wont get up to help if Im in the middle of a conversation.
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Posted 6/30/10 3:51 PM  |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I offer to help clean up, and always clear my plates unless they tell me not to.
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| Posted 6/30/10 4:14 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always offer to help, but never presume. I actually do not like people helping me with the dishes. I have my own method and sometimes it's my excuse to escape the party for a few moments while Rob takes the reins. I also feel very awkward when my guests are 'working'.
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| Posted 6/30/10 4:26 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I will at least offer to help clear the table - however if its a large party and others are already taking care of it, i'm not going to jump up and get in the way.
if i happen to be the first to get up to clear the table, i'll usually bring dishes into the kitchen and ask the host where they want them.
unless its my family, i wouldn't presume to start washing dishes though
however, if it was just the 4 of you at dinner and your SIL and niece sat there while you guys cleared the table.. that's rude
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| Posted 6/30/10 4:46 PM |
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longislemom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 912 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always clear the table and ask what else I can do to help clean up.
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| Posted 6/30/10 5:27 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I was raised to always bring something like dessert or wine and to help clear the table. My brother's useless, stupid GF just sits there, doesn't even bring in her own dish, and that pisses me off! I think it's so rude. LOL can you tell I don't like her? 
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| Posted 6/30/10 5:45 PM |
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springchick
make a wish
Member since 5/08 3566 total posts
Name:
justask
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
ditto
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| Posted 6/30/10 5:47 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by christinec2010
I always bring something when I am invited to someones house.
As far as helping to clean up, my mom always told me to offer to help but never go ahead & just start doing it.
ITA - I always ask and stand up to actually help - BUT I know several people (my mom is one) who use their china for dinner parties and don't want others carrying them for fear of breaking them. So I always get up and ask if I can clear or help in any - usually they take me up on it - but sometimes they don't. I personally never let people do dishes in my home - often people bring things in for me before I can say no - but when I invite someone over I prefer that they relax and have a good time and not do my dishes or clean up for me.
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| Posted 6/30/10 6:19 PM |
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CAMCaps
Live Laugh Love Run
Member since 6/07 4922 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
If I am at someone's house, I will clear my plate and bring it into the kitchen. I will also bring in condiments, trays, etc. Typically, however, I do not offer to wash the dishes.
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| Posted 6/30/10 7:08 PM |
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BlueEyes15
LIF Infant
Member since 4/09 105 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by CAMCaps
If I am at someone's house, I will clear my plate and bring it into the kitchen. I will also bring in condiments, trays, etc. Typically, however, I do not offer to wash the dishes.
same here...I would feel odd washing things in someone else's kitchen because I might feel like I was intruding on their system
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| Posted 6/30/10 9:42 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
It depends, at MIL house the kitchen is very tiny, so if there are already a couple women trying to help sometimes it's more work to get around everyone to get into the kitchen, so it really depends on who is closer to the kitchen at MIL house LOL
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:28 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
exactly! same for me! I know people are trying to be nice, but I find it annoying when someone else besides myself or DH do it, I prefer it done a certain way. So at other people's homes, it would feel odd for me to wash their dishes. But, I do help clean the table, bring things back into the kitchen, put things away, or whatever else they need done.
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:37 PM |
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I was raised to help "clean up" whatever that maybe. Usually I will clear off the table while the hostess starts the dishes, and then once the table is done I will dry and stack. This is my way of doing things, and I always INSIST I help. I don't feel right just sitting there.
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:51 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I was annoyed for you when i read your op. Yes, they are guests, but this is not a diner! They could have at least made the offer instead of just sitting!
I always bring something, and always clear the table. I'll do dishes for close friends or family, like if the hosts are putting kids down etc.
One time my bff had an awful stomach problem after dinner and actually had to go to bed. Her dh is useless (literally) so I cleaned the entire kitchen, put food away, and loaded her dishwasher without being asked (because I knew he wouldnt lift a finger, the sh!t would sit all night and she'd be so upset in the am). But this was a bff. I wouldnt do that for just anyone!
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| Posted 6/30/10 11:19 PM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by springchick
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes. I think that can be a little invasive, a lot of people like things done their own way. I wouldnt want someone doing the dishes in my kitchen.
ditto
Me too. I had a beautiful platter ruined by someone that was being helpful and put it in the dishwasher.
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| Posted 6/30/10 11:21 PM |
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PrincessVonTrockel
Trophy Wife in Training
Member since 11/09 2953 total posts
Name:
Natalie
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
We usually go out to eat when people come over, but one time DH cooked and we used paper plates....no messy clean up.
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| Posted 6/30/10 11:35 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Always. My SIL is another story
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| Posted 7/1/10 12:05 AM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes.
same here- I actually think its nicer to spend time with my guests and worry about the dishes later
same... but it also depends where , if it's family most of the time I'll offer to do the dishes and sometimes I do wash them.
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| Posted 7/1/10 3:14 AM |
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timanda
Puppy Love
Member since 6/08 1627 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always take my dishes (and anyone else's around me who's finished) into the kitchen and put them in the sink or dishwasher, and offer to wash them or help clean up the rest of what's left. I was also taught to clean up after at least myself. I like to be able to help, and I offer, but I know some people like to do everything themselves, so I don't insist.
When we are with DH's family I take it upon myself to help clean up. They do the same at my house.
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| Posted 7/1/10 7:31 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I'll never forget the first time I became aware that not everyone helps clean up like we do in my family.
It was Christmas Day, my sister was in the hospital with complications from her pregnancy, the kids were down that Mom wasn't home, and my other sister and I were playing hostess for my sister's in-laws.
Her MIL and FIL sat on their butts the entire time, giving orders. They wanted their plate made for them even though all the food was on the table, they wanted seconds, they even wanted us to make their coffee for them and hand it over.
Needless to say, they didn't help with anything at all. Even with the circumstances at hand.
From that point on, I was always hyper aware of it and unless there is hired help, I always scrape plates, bring them in, wipe the table, what have you.
However... I have never noticed if any guest of mine sat at the table and chatted after a meal. To me, when entertaining in my own home, I would never expect anything of anyone. If they expected to be waited on hand and foot, they just wouldn't get invited back.
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| Posted 7/1/10 7:42 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I'll always help clear the table but not necessarily do the dishes unless I am at my mother's or sister's house or visiting someone that is sick. I would never want nor expect one of my guests to help wash dishes at my house.
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| Posted 7/1/10 9:31 AM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
Posted by Sherwood
I'll help clear the table and bring stuff into the kitchen, but I wont actually do the dishes.
same here- I actually think its nicer to spend time with my guests and worry about the dishes later
Same here
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| Posted 7/1/10 9:33 AM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always help with the dishes. Alot of times i get yelled at by whoever's house we are at for helping, they tell me to relax but i feel i should help!
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| Posted 7/1/10 12:56 PM |
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justme4u
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 575 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
was just at a GTG with my friends last night that one of our friends hosted. It was a bbq and there really were no dishes ( everything was paper or plastic) but we did eat outside so i helped her bring in the leftover meat and salads and put them in her fridge.. i have to say i was surprised that no one else helped her... I think its nice to try and at least help clear the table or bring things iin the kitchen if you are eating in another room or outside 
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| Posted 7/1/10 2:05 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by bellarina
I always bring something- salad, dessert, wine etc..
as for help- I guess my friends and I feel very comfortable with eachother because it's not even a though that we wouldn't help eachother serve and clean up.... meaning we just do and know eachother's kitchens so there's no asking "where does this go" or "what shall I do".... when I go to someone's house that I don't know so well I will ask them what I should do and if they say nothing, the least I will do is carry in the dishes to clear the table. I do believe that you can get in the way in the kitchen if you don't know your host well and the kitchen well. I don't expect my guests (especailly if we don't know eachother well) to pitch in, but clearing the table is a huge help!
ditto.
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| Posted 7/1/10 2:20 PM |
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