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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always, always, always do the dishes.
However, if you're in MY home - I prefer that you do not do the dishes. Leave them in the sink, let us all hang out, and I'll do them when you leave. I hate when guests in my home do the dishes. I get very annoyed.
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Posted 7/1/10 3:03 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by TreAnt427
I always help clean up, because I know I appreciate when people do the same at my house.
same here ! I host sunday dinners at my house every week ,and there is no help !
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| Posted 7/1/10 3:06 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Jenn627
I always, always, always do the dishes.
However, if you're in MY home - I prefer that you do not do the dishes. Leave them in the sink, let us all hang out, and I'll do them when you leave. I hate when guests in my home do the dishes. I get very annoyed.
I am the same way, I prefer to continue the visit and do the dishes later. Once someone insisted on doing the dishes after dinner and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I just finished cooking and serving, the table is cleared, let me sit down and really enjoy your company. The dishes can wait. But I am curious to why you always do the dishes as a guest when it would annoy you if your guests do the same thing.
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| Posted 7/1/10 3:18 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Christine
I am the same way, I prefer to continue the visit and do the dishes later. Once someone insisted on doing the dishes after dinner and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I just finished cooking and serving, the table is cleared, let me sit down and really enjoy your company. The dishes can wait. But I am curious to why you always do the dishes as a guest when it would annoy you if your guests do the same thing.
I don't normally do dinner parties with my friends so usually dinner is at a relative's house or my in-laws. I don't mind doing the dishes for them. Like my mom, aunt, grandmother, MIL.
But when they're at my house - I don't want to do the dishes - I just cooked a nice (I hope) meal, we're having a nice time chatting. Since my guests are usually older or a relative - I feel obligated to say don't do them, I'll do them. Then if I don't take care of the dishes right away - there they are doing the dishes, so then I have to be there to clean the pots and load the dishwasher "my" way (b/c as everyone knows - you know your dishwasher best and the best way to load it). Whew. That was long.  I hope that makes sense.
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| Posted 7/1/10 3:34 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by Jenn627
Posted by Christine
I am the same way, I prefer to continue the visit and do the dishes later. Once someone insisted on doing the dishes after dinner and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I just finished cooking and serving, the table is cleared, let me sit down and really enjoy your company. The dishes can wait. But I am curious to why you always do the dishes as a guest when it would annoy you if your guests do the same thing.
I don't normally do dinner parties with my friends so usually dinner is at a relative's house or my in-laws. I don't mind doing the dishes for them. Like my mom, aunt, grandmother, MIL.
But when they're at my house - I don't want to do the dishes - I just cooked a nice (I hope) meal, we're having a nice time chatting. Since my guests are usually older or a relative - I feel obligated to say don't do them, I'll do them. Then if I don't take care of the dishes right away - there they are doing the dishes, so then I have to be there to clean the pots and load the dishwasher "my" way (b/c as everyone knows - you know your dishwasher best and the best way to load it). Whew. That was long. I hope that makes sense.
That makes total sense -- I'll jump in and do the dishes at my mother's or sister's and offer anywhere else.
I don't have a dishwasher unless you count my two arms so I'd really rather guests leave them b/c I am too lazy and not interested right after eating.
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| Posted 7/1/10 3:57 PM |
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MrsYank
She's here :)
Member since 4/07 3238 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Yank
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I am the same way as you- but I grew up in an Italian household, and this is just the way it was. When I go to SIL's house I always help clean she always says not to- but when it's holiday time here she really isn't a big help
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| Posted 7/2/10 6:25 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
Posted by KGools
I usually ask what I can do, but most of the time, our friends clean once we leave.
I clean right away and prefer no help... it gets done faster and I don't want to put my guests to work.
same here. I always bring SOMETHING too. Dessert, wine, dip whatever.
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| Posted 7/2/10 8:22 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
At my moms house I help clear and will occasionally do some dishes. At other people's homes I will help clear, but I do not even attempt to do dishes. And I have no expectation of people to do dishes at my house. In fact I don't like it when they do. I know it's not neccesary, but I wash off my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I can't stand when people put gunky dishes right into my washer.
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| Posted 7/2/10 10:47 AM |
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Sandra
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1185 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
We will bring something either desert or a hostess gift....and I'll offer to help clear the table - but I feel that I am in the way sometimes... but,yes, that is what I was taught - and I was also taught to write a thank you note - which I do OFTEN....that said -
lately, when I go to my SIL's house I rarely bring anything and have stopped helping - I don't really know why I started doing this (well...that might not be true)... and I think she noticed too....but I finally don't care 
Message edited 7/2/2010 11:28:17 AM.
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| Posted 7/2/10 11:27 AM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
i bring dessert.... and depending on mood might help clear away the dishes, but i dont wash them unless its my inlaws house.... and my inlaws wash at their parents house.
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| Posted 7/3/10 6:26 PM |
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I often feel like I am invading someone else's space if I start to do dishes at their house. I will usually bring dishes to the kitchen and then I do not even feel like I know their "system" for stacking dirty dishes. I am sure I have offended people but I really do not expect them to do anything at my house.
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| Posted 7/3/10 9:12 PM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always help clean up. DH's family is the same way as your DH's family. When they come over, no matter what for they never help with anything. Not even throwing their plastic cups in the garbage. It bothers me all the time.
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| Posted 7/3/10 10:38 PM |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I always help clean up/wash dishes at other people's houses, but find more and more that nobody helps when I host. I find it a bit odd that they don't even offer!
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| Posted 7/3/10 10:46 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I was taught the same but I honestly don't expect my friends to do any dishes and I don't mind if they don't bring their dishes to the sink.
Family on the other hand, I would be annoyed if they didn't help. But I would remember that for the next time we went to their house.
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| Posted 7/3/10 11:12 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I wouldn't expect my guests to clean the dishes.
I always clear the table, offer to help, bring a dessert etc. etc. but in my house I wouldn't ask or expect a guest to clean my dishes.
I think it's nice to worry about the dishes later and enjoy my time with my guests.
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| Posted 7/3/10 11:13 PM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I would be annoyed as well. I was raised to get up and help. If she would have asked I probably would have said for them not to help, since they are guests and I dont mind cleaning up myself and I feel people usually dont want their guests to HAVE to help them clean (even though it is understood that is what you do - LOL)
I dont ask I just start grabbing dishes/glasses, food ect and bringing them to the kitchen. I find that if I ask people will usually say not to help - out of being a good host, but I couldnt just sit there
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| Posted 7/4/10 9:20 AM |
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Re: When you are invited to somone's home for dinner (etiquette-related)
I know a guy that dumped his girlfriend because she didn't help clear the table when she ate at his parents house.
I don't expect guests to help clear the table or wash dishes. I'd rather do it myself.
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| Posted 7/4/10 10:00 AM |
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