When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

how much do you tell them? my son asked me something the other night and i was not sure what i should have told him. i am not afraid of telling him about what being gay is, i am just not sure if its the right time for this discussion...and i do not want to lie or tell him something is wrong when its not.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I havent dealt with yet.. but I would just explain to them that its when one person loves someone of the same gender. basically say in their level "when a boy falls in love with another boy or a girl falls in love with another girl and they live happily ever after."

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

this is something I have to think about too. BIL is gay and his boyfriend is a part of the family too. I have mixed feelings on how to approach this.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I am very open and honest about this issue. My sister is openly gay and I love her and am proud of her. It is 110% fine in our family.

Molly has been to a party where the children have "2 mommies" and she thinks nothing of it. I think IF you make it an issue, then it becomes one.

In our home, it isn't a "topic" for discussion but rather just a simple fact. Sometimes 2 women want to get married. Sometimes 2 men want to get married. Sometimes a man and women want to get married. All 3 are fine and as long as people love each other that is all that matters.

In fact, Molly asked me the other day "What movie did you and Daddy watch last night". I told her it was called "Milk" and she asked me what it was about. I told her it was about a man who was married to another man and some people think it is wrong and so someone hurt him because of it. She asked me why some people think it is wrong and I told her that some people think that they know God better than others and that people should have to live the way that they want them to. I also stressed that In our family we want people to love and be happy. And that God is about love, not about people hurting other hurting. And then she went back to playing.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

My SIL is a lesbian and she has been with her partner for longer than DH and I have been together. She is very "butch" (for lack of a better term) and Damien used to think she was a boy when he was younger. I just keep it simple and tell him sometimes girls love girls and boys love boys. He never really questions it. My other SIL has three older children and they never had any problems with it. I think it is more "mainstream" and by the time our DC are older it will probably be even less of a big deal. They love both their aunts so to my kids I don't think it will be a big deal at all and will more than likely make them more tolerant

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I think the best way to approach it is that not every family consists of a Mommy & a Daddy, some families have 2 mommies or 2 daddies, and its perfectly normal, although slightly different than your family set up. I think you probably have quite a while to go until you have the sex discussion, so until than you can talk about how people love each other and how sometimes two men love each other, and sometimes two women love each other, and sometimes a man and a woman love each other (you like, like "Free to Be You & Me" )

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Well Jordana has a kid in her class with two mommies. We also have a gay male couple on our hall with a little dog. I am just teaching her that there are all different kinds of families. She knows Peanut (the dog) has two daddies, and I think she knows P in her class has two mommies.

In fact, I love that she is growing up thinking all of this is 100% normal. One of the boys in her class asked his mom why one of the mommies (who is pregnant) has all the babies and not the other one. Shouldn't they take turns.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Well, TBH, my MIL is gay, and she has a partner, so we will probably have to deal with it sooner rather than later.

I feel like when we talk about it, we will discuss how the most important thing in a relationship is love and that it comes in all shapes and sizes.

My parents have dear friends who are a same sex couple and I grew up with them always around and I love that I had that experience growing up, I feel like my sister and I were given a peek into a such a lovely family atmosphere and we were able to see that families look different, but are really all the same

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

When the time comes and my children ask...I will be open and honest with them about it and tell them that love doesn't come in one form...it comes in many shapes and colors and that's what makes the world what it is.

This is one subject my children will grow up understanding and respecting.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Alex hasn't asked me yet, but in our house, honesty is the best policy. I would just try to be honest, but explain it in a way that he can understand, without confusing him. When the time comes, I'm sure I'll just tell Alex that different people love different kinds of people, and sometimes boys fall in love with boys, and girls fall in love with girls, and there's nothing wrong with it at all.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

These were some really wonderful answers! DH has an uncle and a cousin who are gay...only the cousin brings his partner around but my ds is too young to connect that they are together. I think the reason I got caught off guard with this is because of how he asked me. I was watching Pedro on MTV and he happened to walk into the room while their was a kissing scene. He said ew mommy why are the boys kissing each other you are only supposed to kiss girls. So caught off guard I really wasn't sure how to talk to him about it. I think if it was a why are there 2 mommies conversation it would have been easier...i don't know maybe not!

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Society is different than when we were younger. I don't really know how to put it other than I see no reason why my kids would ever even ask about it. I've never taught my son that relationships are about specific genders, and I wouldn't teach that to my daughter. IF either were to ask, I would say what many others have previously posted.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Our friends are gay, and my stepdaughters knew right away that they lived with each other and loved each other like any other couple.

The more open and honest you are, the less mystery it will be. Kids are more tolerant than adults. Trust me, they won't be envisioning deviant sex acts or questioning the morality of the issue like adults will, unless it is taught to them. A neutral and casual approach is the best way to go.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Honestly I don't know what I will say. I am not ready to discuss it.

Maybe I will stick a twix in my mouth when DS will ask me at some point.

I think I will emphasize my response on Love being the most important.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I will say that there are all types of families. Some have two mommies, some two daddies, and some are like us; a mommy and a daddy. (and then I will deal with those families who only have 1 mommy/1 daddy) But all families have love and that is the most important thing!

One of my BFFs is a gay man and they sure do love their uncle!

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I am waiting for this question from my son. My brother (their uncle) is gay and he lives with his partner. My kids refer to them as Uncle JoJo and Jim. We LOVE Jim. LOVE LOVE LOVE. He is one of the family. I'm just waiting for my 7 year old to ask why Uncle JoJo isn't married, or why he doesn't have a wife. I guess it's only a matter of time.

But when the time comes, I'll just explain that there are all different types of families. Ones with 2 parents, ones with one parent, ones with children, ones without. All that matters is that family members love and respect each other. I hope that will suffice.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I believe in honesty being the best policy. I also believe that in today's society kids are more accepting and have heard about more different family relationships than we grew up with.
Now it is common for a child to have just a mom or just a dad. Kids are being raised by their grandparents and everyone's old ideal of the family consisting of 1 mom, 1 dad, and 2.5 kids with the white picket fence is out the door. Every one's family is unique and it shouldn't matter whether there is a boy/girl relationship, boy/boy or girl/girl. A relationship is a relationship and it's built on love trust and understanding.

My DD has already seen 2 girls kissing and was like ewww they're kissing. But she also says that when she sees a boy and girl kissing. She thinks its all disgusting. I guess she gets that from me, i'm not into PDA's no matter who it is. I think some things should just be left to the imagination and the bedroom.

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

Re: When your kids ask about alternative lifestyles

I think so many of you have some incredible answers. My cousin is gay and is in a relationship with a wonderful man. When the time comes Jack will understand that it's about loving another human being - not whether they are male or female.

I do think that by the time our children are older it will be much less of an "issue" than it is now.