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While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Yes, there are good days, and there are bad days.
Yesterday morning was TOUGH.
but I stuck with my consistent plan.
Cailen gets time outs for the following behavior:
Aggression (hitting, pushing, tearing our face with his sharp nails!)
and throwing tems. He can throw his toys, but our stuff, or his eating stuff (plates, sippy cups, etc) he throws when he is angry.
Yesterday morning he received 4 time outs. After the time out, he picked up what he threw (on his own) or gave a "nice nice" if he hit.
This morning, he got angry at me for putting water in his juice (he just starting noticing that! )
We have a little step stool in the kitchen that he puts his toys and his juice cup on to hang out with me while i'm in the kitchen.
He started screaming when i poured the water in. Then he refused to take the cup (which is ok, because in the past he would have taken the cup and flung it. triumph #1!!!!)
I said, "OK, your juice is right here when you are ready for it!" I placed it on the stool, and then turned to the sink and "washed dishes" (I was ignoring him, and watching him from the corner of my eye.)
I felt him try to hit me. It was light and it grazed my pj pants, but made no contact. He looked to see if I noticed, raised his hand, and in midair, stopped. I SAW him think.
But he did NOT hit! Triumph #2!!! 
He angrily stomped over to his juice ( I love him!!!! ) and picked his juice up, and lifted it. He was about to throw it.
again, he looked at his cup, looked at me with his little angry pout. Mommy wasn't looking (or so he thought.) Again, I saw the gears turning and turning. He stood and thought for a few more seconds. THEN, he walked away, cup in hand, drinking his juice!!!!
Triumph #3.
That was huge for me. If I could still do back flips (ahhh - how I miss gymnastics) I would have done a million!!!!
Again, it showed me my gut wrenching work paid off. Its soooo hard ladies, but it works. It works, it works, it works.
Sadly, the lessons are never over. But they work if you stick with it.
and, it proves that they get it at any age.
 for more peaceful mornings....
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Posted 9/17/08 11:02 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Can you explain how I could do a time-out with my son who is 16 months? I am not sure how to do it
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:16 AM |
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AugustMommy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 501 total posts
Name:
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Very interesting...congrats to you and your little man!! Did you give time outs at 13 months? If yes, please tell me what you did...thanks!!
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:21 AM |
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Luv2bAmom
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1255 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by JenBenMen
Can you explain how I could do a time-out with my son who is 16 months? I am not sure how to do it
Yes I don't know if my DS would understand this. Please share how you accomplish this?
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:22 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
too many words for me to read.
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:26 AM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
I gave DS timeouts at 1!!! At first he didnt understand..he would laugh, cry, get off the chair. But I was consistent and persistent. I made sure he sat on that chair for 1 minute. If he climbed down, he was placed back on the chair and the countdown started from 60 seconds again. I would explain to him what he did wrong. Did he know exactly what I was talking about??? of course not, but he knew he did something wrong because he was sitting on a chair rather than playing with his toys or watching his tv show. When the 60 seconds was up, I told him that he can now get off the chair and that what he did was wrong/not nice and so on and so on and that Mommy loves him. After a while..DS KNEW exactly what timeout was and now at 2 IF I send him to timeout..he goes directly to the chair and says "sorry mommy" as he is walking towards it..(breaks my heart when he does this).
ETA: It's very rare that DS goes in timeout.
Message edited 9/18/2008 9:51:01 AM.
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:27 AM |
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Luv2bAmom
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1255 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by pmpkn087
too many words for me to read.
You crack me up!
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:28 AM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by pmpkn087
too many words for me to read.
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| Posted 9/17/08 11:34 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by pmpkn087
too many words for me to read.
but you had enough effort to post?
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| Posted 9/17/08 3:40 PM |
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by JenBenMen
Can you explain how I could do a time-out with my son who is 16 months? I am not sure how to do it
sure!
The MOST important thing to keep in mind when using a time out is that it really is time out from attention, so you only use it for behaviors where DC is looking for a reaction from you - so, if your DC doesn't want to eat his peas, and he gets a time out for throwing them - he will figure out to get out of eating things s by throwing them, so you have to be careful about what behavior you are using this for. Prioritize only 1- 2 behaviors to address, otherwise time out will be overused and not effective.
you don't need a chair. They don't need to sit at all. AND you do not talk to DC during time out. Otherwise he is still getting attention.
I began with mini time outs before he was a year. If he tantrummed, hit, or threw, I walked away from him and ignored him. I didn't call it a time out, but thats what it was - a time out from mommy...
Then we started putting him by the wall very briefly - maybe 10 seconds. He got upset, ad we let him out. He said sorry or picked up what he threw...
Last month, we upped the ante. there are 2 areas that we have. DH has him stand facing the wall with his hands on the wall! DH had to stand there the 1st few times and made sure he stayed. He only gets 45 seconds. Sometimes we warn him that he will get a time out f he does it again. He tested in the beginning, and saw we meant business. Now the warning work. But hitting on the face when he is angry is an unforgiveable - he gets placed wordlessly in time out (I don't even say "you are going to time out") - I silently pick him up, bring him to his wall, and have him face it.
sometimes he cries. Sometimes he stands there quietly and waits!
He doesn't need it too often - yesterday must have been the extinction burst I was explaining in another post!
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| Posted 9/17/08 6:28 PM |
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by pmpkn087
too many words for me to read.
Stephanie, can we please have a discussion in the other room?
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| Posted 9/17/08 6:29 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
I need a lesson in timeout too!
My DD has been quite fresh lately and I feel like its escalating to a daily behavior 
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| Posted 9/17/08 6:44 PM |
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by Smileyd17
I need a lesson in timeout too!
My DD has been quite fresh lately and I feel like its escalating to a daily behavior
Scroll up - I just posted the whole procedure - if you need more detail, or specific issues, let me know! 
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| Posted 9/17/08 6:46 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Smileyd17
I need a lesson in timeout too!
My DD has been quite fresh lately and I feel like its escalating to a daily behavior
Scroll up - I just posted the whole procedure - if you need more detail, or specific issues, let me know!
Thanks...I read it and just need to start and get in control!
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| Posted 9/17/08 6:47 PM |
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Smileyd17
I need a lesson in timeout too!
My DD has been quite fresh lately and I feel like its escalating to a daily behavior
Scroll up - I just posted the whole procedure - if you need more detail, or specific issues, let me know!
Thanks...I read it and just need to start and get in control!
not easy! 
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| Posted 9/17/08 7:26 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
When I first gave DD a timeout...I was thinking to myself, this is never going to work. But, to my surprise, she stayed on the mat (the mat by the front door). I placed her on the mat, told her she was in timeout and she did not get up! She cried...she layed down and when her 1 minute was over, she was sitting nicely. She said "sorry" and I gave her a hug and kiss and explained why she was there (even though I know she probably didn't understand everything I said).
She turned 2 last week...so now time-outs are 2 minutes long. Luckily...she's only gotten a few, but it really does work!
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| Posted 9/17/08 7:38 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
its usually one second for each month they are.
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:08 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by lastchance1222
its usually one second for each month they are.
I've always heard 1 minute for each year. How do you even keep track of 24 seconds for a 2 year old? 
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:10 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by pmpkn087
too many words for me to read.
Stephanie, can we please have a discussion in the other room?
I won't change my mind on this. You will NOT get me to read it.
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:14 PM |
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Yay! Glad you had a productive day with him!
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:14 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by pmpkn087
too many words for me to read.
but you had enough effort to post?
I hope you're not being serious.
Lighten up...it was a JOKE. Not directed towards you and Liza got the joke.
move on.
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:16 PM |
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EmmaNick
*
Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
I thought you were serious too 
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:17 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by Summerrluvv
I thought you were serious too
I'm not THAT mean
Well, not to Liza anyway
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:19 PM |
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Then no nooky tonight! 
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:20 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: While the subject of discipline is so hot - I want to share my morning of triumph
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Then no nooky tonight!
Prude
Aren't we supposed to be a 'united front'? 
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| Posted 9/17/08 8:23 PM |
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