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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
I don't know if anyone is EVER going to be able to explain or identify why people cheat. I do not think that anyone is exempt or safe though. I know many of us say "my husband would never cheat" and "I know my husband" but sadly, I'm sure that was said by many women who's spouses do cheat.
I don't think many people go into marriages saying "I'm going to get divorced" but with the divorce rate being over 50%...
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Posted 4/12/06 10:58 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by mrswask
I don't know if anyone is EVER going to be able to explain or identify why people cheat. I do not think that anyone is exempt or safe though. I know many of us say "my husband would never cheat" and "I know my husband" but sadly, I'm sure that was said by many women who's spouses do cheat.
I don't think many people go into marriages saying "I'm going to get divorced" but with the divorce rate being over 50%...
I would agree. I don't think many men or women purposely cheat. It's just horrible how normal it's become. Look at desperate housewives...even shows about cheating. That's nuts to me, but it's like almost acceptable in our society today. IMO 
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:01 AM |
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BobBsWife
No more school= too much time!
Member since 5/05 1395 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by LadyLainez
Posted by mrswask
I don't know if anyone is EVER going to be able to explain or identify why people cheat. I do not think that anyone is exempt or safe though. I know many of us say "my husband would never cheat" and "I know my husband" but sadly, I'm sure that was said by many women who's spouses do cheat.
I don't think many people go into marriages saying "I'm going to get divorced" but with the divorce rate being over 50%...
I would agree. I don't think many men or women purposely cheat. It's just horrible how normal it's become. Look at desperate housewives...even shows about cheating. That's nuts to me, but it's like almost acceptable in our society today. IMO
Seeing shows that show heating in such an adventrous and passionate way makes me so mad!!
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:02 AM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Maybe on this board we see a lot of posts on men cheating but I don't think it's a strictly why men cheat issue. I think both can cheat and it's probably more common than we would all like to believe. It's sad that vows aren't taken seriously and men and women take advantages of the opportunities before them instead of showing restraint. Like another poster said, I believe that there is something inhertently wrong with the current relationship if one person is seeking outside of the relationship.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:03 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Humans are not genetically/evolutionarily programmed for monogamy. And men of course have the "spread your seed" instinct.
I believe that's part of it.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:03 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by Joan
Of course they do.. my husband was cheating with another married women with two kids.. How could she do that to her family.. I haven't told her husband yet but I am still thinking about.
If anyone has any opinions about telling her husband I would love to hear them.
I would tell her husband. It's tough because children are involved but he deserves to know and she shouldn't continue to "get away with it" for a minute longer. Maybe tell him in a letter? She can probably try to talk her way out of it, but at least he's been told.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:16 AM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
I think men who cheat were not ready to be married. They still had something to prove to themselves (Studness). I also think some men cheat because they are not being sexually or emotionally satisfied with their wife.
I rarely think it is the wives fault.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:19 AM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
well many people may disagree and in no way I agree with it, but unfortunately a lot of man are not meant to be in monogamous relationships, it's not in their nature.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:24 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by Aliasmom
well many people may disagree and in no way I agree with it, but unfortunately a lot of man are not meant to be in monogamous relationships, it's not in their nature.
I agree...
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:26 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
I agree with the above poster-You would be surprised how many men go to strip clubs even hookers! Many men have a deep seated need to feel wanted and this leads to cheating-so do women but I think they have a lot more guilt
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:27 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Joan
Of course they do.. my husband was cheating with another married women with two kids.. How could she do that to her family.. I haven't told her husband yet but I am still thinking about.
If anyone has any opinions about telling her husband I would love to hear them.
I would tell her husband. It's tough because children are involved but he deserves to know and she shouldn't continue to "get away with it" for a minute longer. Maybe tell him in a letter? She can probably try to talk her way out of it, but at least he's been told.
But are you going to tell him to make yourself feel better-so someone else can feel your pain and maybe share in it..just making sure you are going to tell him for the right reasons.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:27 AM |
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Joan
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/06 7 total posts
Name:
Joan
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by Blu-ize
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Joan
Of course they do.. my husband was cheating with another married women with two kids.. How could she do that to her family.. I haven't told her husband yet but I am still thinking about.
If anyone has any opinions about telling her husband I would love to hear them.
I would tell her husband. It's tough because children are involved but he deserves to know and she shouldn't continue to "get away with it" for a minute longer. Maybe tell him in a letter? She can probably try to talk her way out of it, but at least he's been told.
But are you going to tell him to make yourself feel better-so someone else can feel your pain and maybe share in it..just making sure you are going to tell him for the right reasons.
I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone or want to bring anyone down with me.. And I wouldn't want to destroy a family.. but at the same time I would have wanted someone to tell me. I am very conflicted with this.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:31 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Joan
Of course they do.. my husband was cheating with another married women with two kids.. How could she do that to her family.. I haven't told her husband yet but I am still thinking about.
If anyone has any opinions about telling her husband I would love to hear them.
I would tell her husband. It's tough because children are involved but he deserves to know and she shouldn't continue to "get away with it" for a minute longer. Maybe tell him in a letter? She can probably try to talk her way out of it, but at least he's been told.
This happened with my parents. My mother was cheating with a man that was married. Not only were they having an affair but my parents used to travel all the time with this couple, even during the time my mother was having the affair. My father called his wife to tell her about the affair. I don't know what happened with that marriage, but my parents (or rather my father) tried to work things out with my mother, and it ended up not working and they divorced a couple of years later.
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| Posted 4/12/06 11:34 AM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
I think I would tell her spouse. This isn't hear say or butting into someone else's marrigae. This person's spouse cheated with her husband. I believe he has the right to know and make his own decisions.
It isn't about making someone else hurt, just letting that person know what has been going on behine their back. I believe that if she did it once, she may have done it before or may do it again if she isn't found out. Where does that leave her husband.. in the dark and that is not right. Not to mention her children.
ETA: I think the question really is "why do people cheat?" I think the main reason is selfishness... the person puts their own "needs" before others. If you ask a cheater they can usually come up with a bunch of reasons or excuses as to why they did it but in the end it comes down to them being selfish. IMO
Message edited 4/12/2006 12:13:02 PM.
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| Posted 4/12/06 12:08 PM |
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jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by MrsFresca
I don't think there are any clear and cut answers for this unfortunately and there are many different reasons as to why men engage in this behavior. I think it really makes a difference when any couple start that they discuss in detail what they expect from their partners, the relationship, and what they would tolerate or not tolerate. I think both partners will be in the same page and they would know that if they do something that their partner would not tolerate, they are taking the risks of losing that person. When I started dating my husband, I sat down with him and I told him how important faithfulness, trust, and loyalty is to me. I also mentioned to him that sometimes men that cheat do not realize how they jeopardize their partners and put them in danger. I asked him that if he ever thought of being with someone to approach me and tell me. I'd really would prefer to know rather than finding out like many women do. I also expressed to him that if I ever found out he was cheating on me, I'm not one to give second chances because I don't believe in them. I think if I'm 100% committed in our relationship, he should be the same way. I think one of the problems when this happen is because a lot of couples do not have talks like this and do not express their feelings and put things on the table from the beginning.
And to all of you that are going through such a tough time in your lives about this..I'm sorry to hear this and here are some 
ETA>>to fix a spelling error....can't stand them when I do them
I think it is important to have talks like this. I also agree that people (men or women) should talk about it if they find that they're almost in the position to cheat. They should use that feeling as a jumpstart to improving their relationship and taking a good long look at themselves.
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| Posted 4/12/06 12:42 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
Posted by MsG
I know someone who has recently cheated on his wife (his wife knows). The guy has always been so in love with himself, and so controlling toward his wife - taking the cheese off her pizza for goodness sake b/c it was fattening  . My father also thinks he is the greatest thing going, and he cheated on my mom. So in my limited experience, it's guys who are self-absorbed who cheat.
That describes my ex exactly... and in that case, I think it's EXACTLY why he cheated - immaturity, selfish, self-absorbed, with a huge ego that masked even larger insecurities.
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| Posted 4/12/06 12:58 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why do you think so many men cheat?
To answer the original question, I think men cheat:
-because of boredom
-a sense of entitlement to cheat (more prominent in some cultures than others)
-laziness and cowardice: they don't want to work on a relationship that is in need of work or don't want to face the work it will take to fix
-pure and simple lust
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| Posted 4/12/06 1:24 PM |
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