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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Wondering others' opinions on this .....
So, I took my grandmother out yesterday intending to have a nice relaxing lunch so we can chat, catch up, etc. Everything was going fine, until the little kid from the table next to us starts SCREAMING ... Kid must have been like 5 or so .... The screaming went on for around 15-20 minutes nonstop. People from all directions were looking over, including the manager, but nobody said anything.
I understand it's a touchy area for a restaurant because you can't just approach someone and be like "excuse me please remove your kid" but I couldn't take the noise! I would have stayed and ordered dessert but I just HAD to get out of there!!!!!!!! The screaming turned into a screaches- and the mother's discipline plan was to ignore it and wait for him to stop.
I understand that she doesn't want to give him any kind of attention for acting like an a$$ at the restaurant, but please lady- if you are going to use the "ignore" method to discipline your kid, DO IT AT HOME! Because I was ready to go over there and say something to her myself!  (of course I in reality would not have! lol)
What do you think in this kind of situation, should the restaurant have said something to this woman whose kid was driving out business? People were complaining but WE were right next to them!
Oh also want to add that the woman knew people were complaining because she was there with another woman and I heard her say "well they should understand he is only a kid"  I just didn't have much sympathy while I had to cover my ears and eat my italian portobello sandwich at the same time!
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Posted 4/16/09 1:59 PM  |
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MrsFab
this is bliss.......
Member since 10/08 1234 total posts
Name:
Mb
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I would have been annoyed too- home training is extremely important, at 5 he should have been better than that- my parents would have beat me if I acted like that in public
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| Posted 4/16/09 2:03 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
You can't assume that the screaming is because of bad parenting. The child may have a physiological, psychological, or mental handicap.
However, *I* consider it bad if the parents do not remove DC from the situation, and take them somewhere to calm down, even if it's in the car in the parking lot. Especially if another adult was there, so nobody thinks they are "dining and ditching".
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| Posted 4/16/09 2:08 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I think it is so damn rude!!!!! I have a million kids in my family so I understand behavioral issues and whatnot.
Just like anything - in a public place - if you are disrupting people around you - get the hell out of there! Talking on cell phones, arguing with your SO, banshee children - get the hell out.
JUST because you have kids and are immune to the patterns and hissy fits - other people are NOT.
It's common courtesy.
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| Posted 4/16/09 2:21 PM |
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kimbalina
Bring on the glitter and bows!
Member since 6/08 15158 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I get annoyed about this too. I think that although you maybe trying to ignore it.. so it will stop. If there are strangers or other people around, especially in a resturant, or service setting then they should REMOVE the child till they calm down.
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| Posted 4/16/09 2:29 PM |
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MrsFab
this is bliss.......
Member since 10/08 1234 total posts
Name:
Mb
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by GoldenRod
You can't assume that the screaming is because of bad parenting. The child may have a physiological, psychological, or mental handicap.
I didnt think of that- its a good point
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| Posted 4/16/09 2:43 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by MrsFab
Posted by GoldenRod
You can't assume that the screaming is because of bad parenting. The child may have a physiological, psychological, or mental handicap.
I didnt think of that- its a good point
its true - my nephew has autism and sometimes he just screams and screams even if he is happy but we definitely would remove him from the restaurant until he calmed down. . .
this is one of those things though - that if i was at a fridays or an applebees i would just take it as part of the ambiance and deal with it but if i was about to drop $200 at ruth's chris i would DEFINITELY be annoyed
not excusing the lack of parenting, i just try to let things slide instead of ruining my time out KWIM?
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| Posted 4/16/09 2:56 PM |
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RockysGirl
LIF Infant
Member since 3/09 254 total posts
Name:
Cassandra
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
no matter what the reason for this child acting up, it's NOT okay to just ignore it and ruin everybody else's lunch or dinner. People pay to be there and they shouldn't be derived away by a screaming child. If it were MY child, s/he would immediately be disciplined. No way I'd just ignore my kid and let them get away with acting like a brat in public. Ignoring a child's fit IS ok, but only at home. Soooo innapropriate at a restaurant. I'd be too embarrassed if it were my child.
As for this woman - yes, maybe the kid has mental issues of some sort. But then she shouldn't be taking him to a restaurant. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like the appropriate thing to do would be for her to get her check and food wrapped and leave. It's better than making everybody ELSE leave. So rude.
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| Posted 4/16/09 3:03 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MrsFab
Posted by GoldenRod
You can't assume that the screaming is because of bad parenting. The child may have a physiological, psychological, or mental handicap.
I didnt think of that- its a good point
its true - my nephew has autism and sometimes he just screams and screams even if he is happy but we definitely would remove him from the restaurant until he calmed down. . .
this is one of those things though - that if i was at a fridays or an applebees i would just take it as part of the ambiance and deal with it but if i was about to drop $200 at ruth's chris i would DEFINITELY be annoyed
not excusing the lack of parenting, i just try to let things slide instead of ruining my time out KWIM?
Tilde- I understand what u are saying and I agree that its best to not let it ruin the time out. Buuuuuut----------
My lack of nerves were elevated because I am a school teacher home on break, and the last thing I wanted to hear while trying to relax was a screaming kid! 
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| Posted 4/16/09 3:05 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
He is only a kid, true. But there were other people around trying to enjoy lunch and are paying for it. She seemed very self-centered to me. I'm not anti-kid but come on! At least make an attempt. Excuse him to the bathroom or outside until he calms down but do something. I think parenting starts at home and not in public. Even my father will comment on an annoying loud child... and he's had three children so it's not a matter of having had children or not either.
ETA: There are ways of handling a child with a a mental handicap too. I think the women should know better.
Message edited 4/16/2009 3:24:28 PM.
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| Posted 4/16/09 3:20 PM |
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Jenna04
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 526 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I would have taken him outside and calm him down! That is RUDE lady, RUDE! Do something, try something! dont just sit there!
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| Posted 4/16/09 4:27 PM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I think that is so disrespectful to everyone around. The mother should have taken the kids outside...end of story.
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| Posted 4/16/09 4:52 PM |
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KimberlyScott
Graceyn=My World <3
Member since 10/08 4173 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Unfortunatley this happens a lot. It's very frustrating when you are out trying to have a good time and paying for it!
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| Posted 4/16/09 5:48 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I think they should have removed the child from the restaurant until he calmed down...regardless of handicap or whatever. Sure, he is only a kid, but that doesn't mean that the rest of the place should be made to listen his fit.
Other people have a right to peacfully enjoy their meals and they had no right to let their kid carry on and disrupt everyone in a public place.
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| Posted 4/16/09 7:45 PM |
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VickiRG510
I'M A MOMMY!
Member since 3/09 1042 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Seriously all my mom had to do wa slook at us & we knew we better calm it. Yes at 5. I could better understand if it was a baby. But even then the mother should have taken the child outside or into the bathroom & dealt with the situation. I feel like ignoring the problem is creating a bigger one. Back in the day most people didnt ignore their kids. Good or bad!
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| Posted 4/16/09 8:26 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
This doesn't sound like typical behavior of even the brattiest 5 year old. It sounds like the child likely had some sort of disability.
I work closely with children (and their parents) who have some profound disabilities- including autism. It's heartbreaking what many of these parents go through day to day. Just going on a simple errand is a crapshoot- will it end in a sigh of relief or crushing disappointment? To then deal with judging eyes, nasty looks, and assumptions of being a poor parent just adds to the devastation. Perhaps they were out as part of therapy (I know we do that with kids to teach skills or to desensitize them to certain situations).
I always try to give parents the benefit of the doubt. I know my opinions are colored by my background though and I expect that many may not agree with me.
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| Posted 4/16/09 8:44 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by Porrruss
This doesn't sound like typical behavior of even the brattiest 5 year old. It sounds like the child likely had some sort of disability.
I work closely with children (and their parents) who have some profound disabilities- including autism. It's heartbreaking what many of these parents go through day to day. Just going on a simple errand is a crapshoot- will it end in a sigh of relief or crushing disappointment? To then deal with judging eyes, nasty looks, and assumptions of being a poor parent just adds to the devastation. Perhaps they were out as part of therapy (I know we do that with kids to teach skills or to desensitize them to certain situations).
I always try to give parents the benefit of the doubt. I know my opinions are colored by my background though and I expect that many may not agree with me.
I agree with Amy.
Unfortunately, you do not know the circumstances, and what if she couldn't "just take him outside"? I know that seems like an easy solution, but sometimes it is NOT a reality!
Message edited 4/16/2009 8:58:12 PM.
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| Posted 4/16/09 8:52 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by RockysGirl
As for this woman - yes, maybe the kid has mental issues of some sort. But then she shouldn't be taking him to a restaurant.
Really? They don't deserve a night out once in a while too? I have to disagree with you there!
To the OP, what restaurant was this? Because if it's a family place, you kind of have to deal with it. Kids aren't perfect all of the time. My daughter is usually a dream in public....we get comments about how sweet she is, people ask us if she's always that well-behaved, etc. But once in a while, she'll have a fit and there is nothing we can do to stop it, and it's not always clear what the reason is. And, because she's 2, and testing her boundaries...we sometimes ignore the behavior to show her that crying isn't theway to get what she wants!
One final thought....please please please don't ever assume you know the age of a child just by looking at them. Some children appear to be much older or younger than they actually are...thereby making some behavior age-appropriate.
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| Posted 4/16/09 8:54 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by RockysGirl
As for this woman - yes, maybe the kid has mental issues of some sort. But then she shouldn't be taking him to a restaurant.
Whoa. I missed this gem the first time around, seriously?
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:03 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
i think we can all agree that if we were in this situation we would be annoyed by it and we should be allowed to vent on here without having to get a full evaluation of the child before doing so 
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:28 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by Tilde
i think we can all agree that if we were in this situation we would be annoyed by it and we should be allowed to vent on here without having to get a full evaluation of the child before doing so
Unfortunately, I don't agree with that. I don't think I would be annoyed in that situation, I would be sympathetic with the parents dealing with the nasty stares and comments from others.
I think that people are allowed to vent about things that bother them, but I also think that they have to be prepared for people to have opinions that are different, and maybe even a different viewpoint.
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:34 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by Tilde
i think we can all agree that if we were in this situation we would be annoyed by it and we should be allowed to vent on here without having to get a full evaluation of the child before doing so
Forgive me, but doesn't the title line ask for opinions?
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:34 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by Tilde
i think we can all agree that if we were in this situation we would be annoyed by it and we should be allowed to vent on here without having to get a full evaluation of the child before doing so
Forgive me, but doesn't the title line ask for opinions?
touche! LOL i just saw this getting ugly fast 
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:38 PM |
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
I would have been extremely annoyed..especially given the fact that its a restaurant! most people want to eat in peace and I know when I'm out to dinner I like a nice quiet romantic restaurant. So this would drive me nuts. In my opinion the mother should have taken the kid to the bathroom or outside or something until he stopped crying
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:40 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Wondering others' opinions on this .....
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by Tilde
i think we can all agree that if we were in this situation we would be annoyed by it and we should be allowed to vent on here without having to get a full evaluation of the child before doing so
Forgive me, but doesn't the title line ask for opinions?
touche! LOL i just saw this getting ugly fast
But GIRL you KNOW what opinions are like.....
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| Posted 4/16/09 9:45 PM |
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